Yo! Post Willygate peace appears to have broken out between Free Willy (stand-in GM) and Sir Spag. Spag has ceased canvassing for lethal injection and Willy has promised to keep his clothes on. New shoes and birthday honours notwithstanding the pack is away to the first check a few hundred yards from the car park. Mrs head and Mudcracker go right, paper is found to the left in the scrub and the pack go stumbling through the bushes. The more astute (Cabbage Flaps and Steptoe) follow the dirt road around and meet the FRBs crawling from the bushes on hands and knees. On down the dirt track and again into the bushes and up the hill to two red sticks humping. FT further up the hill and it’s On back to the dirt track where the pack is already ahead of the six unfortunates who braved the check. Much open running on good tracks and more checks mostly broken by Mudcracker and Shit Through a Duck with Cabbage Knievel in there somewhere. Following on the likes of Sheikh MeMe and GI Joe, closely followed by Horse, Steptoe and a masterfully shortcutting VV. Near the end there is a huge loop that caught all and sundry and then into the bushes and uphill to the last check. Mrs Head belatedly catches up after going the wrong way at the first check. Finally the On In which is a bit premature given the highest mountain in Pattaya stands between it and the car park. Mudcracker gets in first having got fortunate at the last check, followed by Shit Through a Duck, Cabbage Knievel, Sheikh MeMe and Mrs Head. Missing Link didn’t complete the whole run.
The Circle: Free Willy ices the Hares, Beverly Hills Pink Cock and Smiling Brown Spider, general consensus is good run.
Raffle: Conducted by a subdued Seaman Swallow who instantly ices Shit Through a Duck and then Hellboy for Swallow abuse and subsequently Free Willy for talking in the circle. Recipients of various Hash Trash are Stinky Sloppy Seconds, Bottomless Pit, Smiling Brown Spider, Isle of Teeny, Try A Fuck and misc. Cracks.
Willy brings in birthdays Flipper and Liberace it seems both are 60 years old?
Sir Airhead again ices the Hares Beverly Hills Pink Cock it seems is gay and maintains a wardrobe of spandex outfits, Smiling Brown Spider is definitely a retired hitman. Consensus beautiful area – good run. Hellboy, Miserable C*nt, Sheikh MeMe, Lone Wolf and Bottomless Pit iced for being the Pattaya equivalent of the drunken, fornicating, butt naked, wild Okinawa Hashers, momentarily inducing a nasty vision of the five butt naked on poles in the TQ. Luckily, my better side instantly blotting out the image saving me from irreparable harm (who says schizophrenia isn’t good for you).
Willy ices Zeal Zucker for being a leaver and a Kiwi. The bucket for Turdburgler visiting Walthamstow aquarium whence Willy was conceived and NOT bring gifts and memorabilia. Kuta Roota iced for returning and Liberace plus Ae for birthday and kindly supplying free food post run.
Sheikh MeMe ices hares and GI Joe for not stepping up to hare more runs than they have and, incidentally, having to suffer the hill at the end of the run. Linguini Weeny and VV in the bucket for celebrating the French language whilst MeMe is speaking. Bigflaps to the ice for having a talking dog and missing last week’s run due to birthday hangover. Up The Butt and Spag iced for being neighbours and incidentally UTB missing being iced and Spag promoting alcohol abuse in his neighbourhood. Medical tourist Don Hamilton from Auckland iced for no apparent reason other than he took MeMes fancy, similarly Zeal Zucker for being a Kiwi. Mudcracker iced for racing with Shit Through a Duck. Linguini Weeny again bucket for talking and being loud.
Sir Spag brings to the ice VV, Try A Fuck and Robbing Bastard being runners from the day before, Spag inquires why the previous days run was shit and today’s run was good given Beverly Hills Pink Cock hared both together with MeMe (previous day) and Smiling Brown Spider (today). MeMe is identified as the problem and consigned to the bucket.
Sir Chicken F*cker ices Willy for lying about Flipper’s age and then has a “Silence of the Lambs” moment wanting to harvest the skin of Willy’s arse to make happy jackets for the bell ends of all the BoysTown boys, or was it harvest all the foreskins in BoysTown to make underpants for Willy. Either way all the fat boys on the Hash had better get concerned if Chicken ever starts to breed rare butterflies. Liberace iced for sponsored food - thank you. Ae’s arse had caught the Chickens eye when she had skinned it previously is invited to skin it again which she dutifully does to reveal perfect orbs divided by a black thong string, Chickens internal battle to keep his hands off of it is apparent to all. Thanks to Ae for demonstrating that “gay” is not in Liberace’s genes. GI Joe and Squeeze my Tube to the ice for perceived marital problems, coupled with Joe having to wash himself after the previous days run and subsequently leaving on the bus without Squeeze my Tube does the hash have cause to worry? If so, in my book the man is always right. Uncle Pervy brought in as home brewer to share his tipple with Sir Chicken and Bottomless Pit. Seaman Swallow iced for allegedly swallowing lots and sharing a night of ? with Chicken whilst Seaman Stains is off showing his mum around Thailand. Swallow repeatedly tugs at Chickens shorts from the ice and nearly has them down (proof of passion?).
Willy invites Hares to singasong and Beverly Hills obliges with “Me No Likee British Sailor” but not before he ices GI Joe, King Yao Yao, Free Willy and Ballringer as token Yanks/Brits plus Zeal Zucker in the bucket for no apparent reason.
Chicken dons Seaman Stains lookalike rubber mask and is instantly attacked by Seaman Swallow in wife mode, obviously a good likeness. Hash Hymn led by Yao Yao.
On On
Steptoe