© Pattaya H3. All rights reserved. Our Run reports are the property of pattayah3.com. These run reports are not for publication on other unscrupulous web-sites.
Situated in an area that I used to know as 'Little Belgium', the A-site for today's run was idyllic. The circle area and car park were all on a recently cut grassed area set amongst the trees that provided plenty of shade.
After what seemed like an unusually long time, the bus arrived and the many occupants raced off to get signed up. It turned out that today's hares: FINI THE FAGGOT and WAS WOO'S WASHER had forgotten about scaffolding on an underpass that was lower than the height of the bus!
With everyone signed up and the pre-run circle over and done with, we took off down the slope looking for paper.
Within a minute we found ourselves up to our shins in shiggy. Oh no, not at the beginning of the run, that's not nice guys. Sorry I digress, so, we headed down a dirt track and very soon hit the first of today's checks.
All the checks were constructed of red paint on the ground with an orange coloured coconut sat in the middle with a pumpkin face and white arrow expertly painted onto them. We were supposed to pick up the coconut and put it onto the trail and point it in the correct direction after the check had been solved. I'm not sure this happened every time!
Anyhow, I and several others including DRIPPY and MISERABLE CUNT took off up the hill from the first check and were surprised that those who had gone in the other direction were also continuously calling On On as we all followed paper. It turned out that the FT was on our trail and so back down the hill we had to go. Strange that I never did see DRIPPY again on the trail after that long FT.
After one more check on this side of the road which also had an FT to the right, we headed down towards the road where we found the third check on the opposite side. Once again the hares had done a good job in keeping the pack together as no one was quite sure of which way the hares were taking us. It turned out that they were taking us up into the hills.
Very soon we were off the main tracks and onto trails the hares had made through the long grass. Up and over the hill we went before going down and crossing a small stream in a heavily wooded area. I found myself in company with QUEEN STELLA, KARAMBA, GREYHOUND and GI JOE as we meandered along the stream and up yet another hill. Here, QUEEN STELLA excelled as she took off into the distance continuously calling On On. After following yet more very nice trails and some spectacular views from the heights, we headed down past the 'On In' and back to the a-site. It took the front runners around 55 minutes to complete the run. I guess around 30 minutes after that all of the runners were more or less back at the a-site which was just as well as the light was fading rapidly.
After a fairly long time relaxing and chatting in the dark, someone must have remembered that the beer truck actually has lights as they managed to find the switch and toggle it. The circle started a short time after that with the hares handing out some special prizes for those who had found various bits and pieces: spiders, dolls, monsters, witches etc on the trail. Those people included V.V, GI JOE and THE CORPSE. It was strange that EMPEROR AIRHEAD got a prize of Kamikaze's at the TQ1 for being best dressed. Wasn't he the guy that donated that prize? While all this was going on, BOTTOMLESS PIT and HELLBOY were on the ice for misbehaving during the proceedings. The weekly Raffle was next and this seemed to go on for ever. Winners included STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS, WHAM BAM, SWEET AND EASY, REAR GUNNER, FREE WILLY, TRY A FUCK and GARBAGE COLLECTOR. The prizes ranged from a 100 baht, 2 down downs and a seat in the bucket to a Mississippi Mud cocktail type drink.
With all of that stuff taken care of, EMPEROR AIRHEAD, the first of several RA's took control of the circle and started by calling in RAMBO WW2 and awarding him a t-shirt for the Number 1 hasher and 300 runs achieved. The hares were next and they had apparently bridged the gap between female hares such as QUEEN STELLA & co. and male hares. Everyone knows that the girls always set good runs. At this point the circle was seriously interrupted as one of the local lady's who's knowledge of the English language was surprising good, seemed intent on having her own singing and dancing party. I guess at some time in the distant past when Baht Buses were powered by Buffalo and beach road was the only sealed road in miles, she must have worked down town and came into close contact with the Farang!
GM SEAMAN STAINS was next to take the circle and after dealing with the returnees, visitors and virgins he re-named BROWN RING LICKER from the Angeles hash to 'BUTCH CASSIDY'.
SHEIKH MEME took over the circle and apart from giving the old girl yet another drink he made another gaff by picking up MADEMOISELLE CHANG and putting her into the ice bucket. She happened to have her phone or camera in her pocket and they don't work too well after being dropped in ice cold water!!! After more unique MEME circle antics and punishments involving MADEMOISELLE CHANG and others , it was B.B's turn to take the circle. His first step was to put MEME into the bucket for the mobile phone affair. I guess other stuff happened too but the details are a bit foggy now and I can't read my own handwriting! I can only say that today's run and circle were a whole lot of fun and it was good to be back on the PH3. Awesome actually.
On On TAMPAX
© Pattaya H3. All rights reserved. Our Run reports are the property of pattayah3.com. These run reports are not for publication on other unscrupulous web-sites.