© Pattaya H3. All rights reserved. Our Run reports are the property of pattayah3.com. These run reports are not for publication on other unscrupulous web-sites.
Below is the unedited version because of it's lateness.
This year’s Loy Katoy site was quite well chosen. It was beautifully situated at the Chinese temples site and was set right at the edge of a lake. The stage for music and fireworks were waiting and when he bus finally arrived all of the 7 other hash-pads were still waiting for others to come.
The crowd waiting for the sign in reached more than a hundred and eventually every body made it through the registration process. The table with the Leu Kratong Shirts well prepared waiting for the first consumers.
After some time of waiting the pre-run circle formed and eventually after dealing with the new sneakers and well instructed by the hares: SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD, MISS HEAD and UP THE BUDD the racers, runners, walkers and short cutters got on their way. The trail was throughout very easily marked with white, green and red paper and red and orange coloured arrows on the ground. In the temple area some white flour was then sprinkled on the ground and trees.
The first check not even created a trafficking jam. The way followed some sandy tracks and wound its way through a nice and open field allowing the last to see where the first had missed their way and the first than saw where they missed their shortcuts. Eventually the hash as a whole covered almost every path and road in the area. There was something for everybody including a nice little river crossing for the runners to cool off their sandy hot feet. The track then eventually crossed some roads and for the enthusiasts let up the temple hill with all its lianas keeping their grip on the all too fast runners holding them back. Then reaching the top the view was spectacular. And on the other side the downhill on the freshly mowed grass allowed for a slalom racing. The check after the downhill mixed the sequence of the runners for a last time.
The last mile let us through the Chinese temples site and finally through a crowd of local spectators who had arrived to follow the spectacle. Just in time for the marvelous sun set and the rising of the full moon the A-site (in windy and cool weather and already crowded with short-cutters) was in sight.
The forming of the circle then took a while and a while and a while and another two and two and two minutes. The light check of the beer truck was successfully passed and the shitty two ice-blocks eventually unveiled from under their cover.
GM SEAMAN STAINS took the circle and after dealing with two virgins, returnees and three visitors he passed the circle on to EMPEROR AIRHEAD who judged the contest of the KRA-TONGs; according to hash-rules-! styropoore, and plas-ticks, had no chance and where excluded from the contest. The first price - a picture of the king- went to CABBAGE FLOPS for an all natural Katoy made from a corncob and a coconut. The second price –a free run- got POW WOW.
Following the KRATOYONG contest the best dressed minors were chosen and chased by the old bald headed man and the first price -a Dinner 4 2 at Jameson’s- went to and a Teddy to the second winner up CABBAGE PRINCESS.
The circle went back to GM SEAMAN STAIN and the hares SIR SPHAGHETTIHEAD, MISS HEAD and UP THE BUDD as ghost for SIR CHICKEN FUCKER got the honor of the first ice for successfully haring the run.
FLIPPER then was honored to being the 100.000s (one hundred thousand) sign up!!!!!!!!!!
The following raffles had more than a dozen prices from T-shirt’s to 100 Bath’s to double down downs and seat in the bucket going to: STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS, SQUEEZING THE TUBE, EWOK, CHARLY MANSON, BORING, …., being supported by the cracking of the fireworks overhead.
FINI THE FAGGOT, SHEIKH MEME and BUD CLINTS? were iced as noisy bastards and got a double down down and the circle went to EMPEROR AIRHEAD who called the hares for and on the shitty ice and thanked them for the haring. SNAKE (kissed by the FAN), LONE WOLFE (crunched knee do to running) and BIG DAWG (Bar banging with the head) got their chance to show off their self inflicted wounds.
FINNEY and BACK STABBING CUNT found their backs iced as sex-tourists for irritating some of the local parading girls.
GM SEAMON STAIN took over to have MISS HEAD receiving her 10th Hared Monday Run shirt. (Did SIR SPAGHETTIHEAD ever see her changing shirt’s – if not, there is a chance now – maybe)
FREE WILLY and HONDA DREAM got ice for losing their singing voice and SIR SPAGHETTIHEAD found himself in the bucked for a lacking of respect. The Sponsors spoon-sored their Virgins.
CLITIAN WAYS? Soaked in the bucked for lack of respect and SHEIK MEME and the visitor from SRI LANKA DR DOOLITTLE cooled off on ice. SNAKE trashed with a straw and – ICE.
Chris Bounce was named SPANKENSTEIN and took a shivering under the ice-water - and the fireworks illuminated the skies.
CHARLY MANSON, BOTTOMLESS PIT (for HELLBOY) and SIR SPAGHETTIHEAD will hare the run on 23rd of November (CHARLY MANSON’s birthday) and felt ice for messing with dates.
Then SHEIKH MEME let the circle for a long long time. He iced FINNEY for interruptus and CHARLY MANSON for confusing the drinking club with running problems and the running club with drinking p.., MISS HEAD for laying an easy trail, SIR SPAGGHETTIHEAD for the crumpy ice, DR DOOLITTLE for being a PAKISTANI (in)SURGENT, FINNEY again, TEENY WEENY, SPANKENSTEIN…. and before this could go on for longer and longer the circle became the center of attraction for many local bystanders who replaced the on by on silently leaving hashers smartly heading back to the Leu Kratong festival in Pattaya.
GM SEAMAN STAIN took over and handed the circle to SIR CHICKEN FUCKER who under the eyes of the THAI public iced FINNEY and initiated the shaking leg dance.
I enjoyed today’s run as one of the best – do to the great scenery and fantastic atmosphere –and the great crowd of Hashers. The endeavor with the returning bus is another story.
ON -ON
One Eyed Trouser Snake
Sorry for the late report but I fell asleep after the two hour bus ride back to town.
© Pattaya H3. All rights reserved. Our Run reports are the property of pattayah3.com. These run reports are not for publication on other unscrupulous web-sites.