The run described later by
Airhead as having the best ever signs to the A site, a great A site, wonderful scenery on the run… the best of the best and the hares,
VV and the
Cabbage family as having the best woman in the world behind the operation… Every great hash has a woman as a hare. Thanks
Cabbage Flaps and
Cabbage Head.
The food before the circle was fantastic and resembled a high class cocktail party more than a Monday hash. Again thanks to
Cabbage Flaps.
The circle started with
Kai icing
Lone Wolf as a dangerous animal and donning him with a wolf hat with huge teeth.
Hares iced but received light treatment for their excellent run and organizational skills.
Seaman Swallow moves to the raffle and ices
Odd Job and
Ass Hopper for excess chat in the circle before putting
Lone wolf in the bucket for pissing her off. She kept referring to
Lone wolf as Crocodile with that thing on his head, which gave us all a huge laugh. She clarified by saying “ I don’t speak English, but I understand all”. She runs a tight ship, rules that raffle with an iron fist and is not a woman to be messed with! You are a brave man
Seaman Stains!
Airhead’s circle… Icing hares as usual. Then icing
Lone wolf and
Fini for
standing topless in a field before the circle. Accusations of dubious behaviour are unfounded (as are most of
Airhead’s accusations) but hilarious none the less. He explains that
Fini’s strange behaviour can be explained by him being Belgian but still interrogates
Lone wolf as to his motives. He suggests that the two of them are having some sort of love affair and that we should all stay tuned for the next installment. Again unfounded (based on the evidence put forward) but fuckin’ funny anyway. Then
Airhead moves onto
Kai and
Scar with 2 T's by icing them for not being able to talk or spell… Well
Sir Airhead, we all knew that! Next in
Airhead’s firing line was
Colonel Cornhole and his 82 year old VIRGIN!!!
(never met one of them before). Of course the old bastard was left standing whilst
CC sat on the ice for both of them. The old man couldn’t not only get down to the ice without his knees giving out, but at his age he only likes to sit on an inflated cushion for fear of aggravating his ass polops!
The beer police are iced, just because
Airhead feels like it, then he hands the circle back to the GM.
Airhead was “on fire” tonight, hilarious and is an
invaluable asset to the PH3.
The GM then deals with Returnees (including me), Leavers and Anniversaries. 350 runs to Bow Wow to which she responds “Ah!”…. she had obviously lost count after that many runs.
Kai 150 runs… Congrats.
Lance my Arse a lot… On In with a down down for talking in the circle, a second for not taking the picture of Rama IX in the raffle and a THIRD for being a Lying Leaver.
Chicken Fucker’s circle… He ices
Lance again for a pregnancy accusation,
Rasputin (who looks like a cross between Charles Manson and Jesus Christ) because he doesn’t like his hair or perfume and ices
Captain Kangaroo (me) for “fuck knows what” allegations!!!
GM’s circle again so he can ice
Dirty Pussy and
Linguini Weeny for being lazy by sitting on his truck after the run and he sits
Cum Yak Yak for being annoying in the circle by throwing ice and tickling hashers with long grass which felt like an
insect. She does it behind your back and when you turn around there’s nothing there except her innocent looks. The GM is onto her.
Mad Cow sings a great song.
The Brewmaster
Bottomless Pit whispers in my ear again “Hey
Kangaroo, I want you to tell zee hash zat I am zee best Brewmaster in zee whole fucking world”… well now I have… for the second time this year!!!
Scar with 2 T's circle which he commanded like a really pissed off Viking. He was
fucking hilarious until we had scribe and camera problems which I was trying to sort out with
Seaman Swallow. When I look up,
Scar is about 6 inches from my
face “eyeballing” me!!! OOPs. There was a silent 5 second “stare off” before he
shouts to me “IN THE BUCKET!”. There were already about 4 on the ice and 2 in the bucket but somehow he was able to find one more arse‐space for me in the bucket… that made 3 in the bucket which was quite a tight fit. Thank Buddha.
Teeny Weeny wasn’t one of those arses because that would have been a physical impossibility!!!
Scar then rectifies the wrong of BAD DAD
No More Cum for
allowing his young daughter to sit on the ice earlier for her annoying circle
behaviour. They both get a down down for that. Thankfully
Cum Yak Yak sits on her Dad’s knee this time and only downs water. On the ice next were
Teeny Weeny,
BB and
Spaghetti Head for not “shutting the fuck up” in the circle.
Scar was very big on “hash hush” tonight which is a good thing (except when he singles out the provider of the camera and Scribe [me again])
Scar was fantastic and very funny in a stern Viking way!!!
The Hares then sing a Hash song, which was music from Pink Floyd and funny
words written by them. Funny and clever too, even if none of them could sing too
well.
The last of the down downs had to be finished by now which of course
Teeny
Weeny volunteered for (just what he needs… another beer!!!).
There were a few notable absentees including a young, skinny Scotsman
Skinny Dick and his evil twin
Eating’s Cheating because they were too hungover and horny to grace us with their presence. Also
Sheik MeMe is still “Missing in Action” (M.I.A.) “banging” in Australia, but his absence only meant that the words “YOU FUCKING CUNT!!!” were uttered less and the circle was a lot more civilized. Where are you MeMe??? People miss you here, expect the delivery of some new
Beer Truck lights and you owe money!!! haha
The Hash Hymn led by the GM in his consistently reverent manner.
Then onto the Buddha Bus and the ON ON at Secrets. More fun had by all but I can say nothing because it’s a secret!!!
It was a fantastic run thanks to the Hares. An hilarious circle thanks to
Airhead,
Seaman Stains,
Seaman Swallow,
Chicken Fucker,
Scar with 2 T's and the Scribe!!!
The music was great thanks to
Mad Cow and the Hares again. The weather was perfect hot, dry Thai May climate thanks to Buddha.
Thanks for a great day everyone. I’ll see you next week before returning to
Australia next week. I love the PH3.
Captain Kangaroo
Interhash registration - for sale at half price.
Contact-
Mongrel Arab. (Colin Smith) 0819 472 131
or.
colksmith@gmail.com