Only back five minutes before I was spotted by GM Seaman Stains and asked to be today’s scribe so sure no problem. Better do it while I still have a perfect memory. Sign up with Bam Bam and Ball Ringer and Bam Bam tells me that Sheik Me Me is coming back Wednesday; I said who the fuck is ME Me?
Good “A” site plenty of parking and plenty of water which is today’s run theme “Water World”
Circle begins and search for new shoes with no victims found, hares in Fucking Dog, Stinky Sloppy Seconds and Arse-A-Holic. Paper white checks and FT’s red, many fucking dogs, barbed wire, cattle & horses.
Run starts with water, mud and barbed wire then on to the dogs, more barbed wire, cattle, cattle shit, horses, horse shit more fucking dogs, more cattle, more water more fucking dogs and more mud. Good long checks and a good long run, well done Hares.
I finished in the top ten today behind half a dozen of those anorexic skinny fuckers who like to run with their shirts off. Skinny, brown, no shirt and covered in mud? The locals must have thought they were poor farang farmers. Mrs HEAD in the top ten, then me and GI JOE not too far behind, we’ve beaten anorexia.
Second circle called but Drippy, Big Nosed Bastard and Ringworm far too busy talking about England’s chances in the next World Cup to join us. After the game against USA they’ll be on the plane with the useless Aussie team in a about week.
Raffle winners Bangka Blower, Torpedo Tits, Cabbage Queen, Free Willy and Missing Link. Free Willy wins twice and is then iced for attempted fraud by trying to claiming a prize with wrong number, his defence was ignorance and we all believed him so no bucket.
Emperor Airhead ices Linguini Weeny for not singing but the interpreter VV said he sings in French and as no one trusts the French he has to sing to prove his innocence.
Ice Cold Shot iced for hashing under a false name. During one of Emperor Airheads rare absences’ and unauthorized name change took place so he is rightfully renamed NA HEE MAN.
Returners in Me, Big Nosed Bastard, VV and Pussy Snatcher in for down downs.
50 run anniversary hashers Big Flaps and Pink Panther, well done.
Colonel Corn Hole iced for talking too much and Same Same told to sit on his lap for getting pregnant. Guess it’s not the first time she’s sat on his lap.
Sir Chicken Fucker called to take the circle but he is busy washing the Bar BQ grill, cleaning his hands and pissing at the same time.
SCF ices DREGGS for running in a pair of Hong Kong safety boots, thongs, flip flops only to take them off at water crossings.
Jackal iced for having a vacant look on his face so this should become a regular event, he always looks like no one’s home.
Sir Wanda and Duke of Puke iced don’t recall why because I’m getting pissed and busy talking to Bam Bam.
Rectum, Really Sadistic Bastard, Beverly Hills Pink Cock iced I guess it was for being noisy bastards Pinkaboo got me another beer so I’m seeing double.
NA HEE MAN iced for liking very tall ladies and everyone knows that in Pattaya very tall ladies have very big dicks.
SMILING BROWN SPIDER iced for lurking in the background check out hasher’s tight buttocks and for stalking THE QUEEN in Carrefour.
Quarter Pounder with Cheese iced until he told a joke.
ZEAL ZUCKER iced for lying about his name and calls for legal advice, his lawyer GI JOE enters and declares his client a lying cunt and guilty on all counts and his name is returned to its original spelling of SEAL SUCKER so suck on that.
Hares don’t have a song so SCF sings for them. Pinkaboo gets me another San Miguel Light, gotta watch those calories.
Quarter Pounder with Cheese in for more jokes “drained wops keep falling on my head”.
Pinkaboo gets me another beer, lucky I’m driving too pissed to walk home.
Hash song sung, TQ2 not have on on tonight so Bam Bam and Sir Spag suggest a few cleansing ales at Titty Twisters and we head there and found other hashers playing pool or watching football.
See you next week.
On On
REAR GUNNER