Total Hashers This Week - 89

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Correcting Run Records Policy

To encourage hashers, and hash virgins, to take responsibility for ensuring they have received proper run credit, the deadline for reporting missed runs will be Thursday evening following a run. As run stats are posted to the website by noon of the Tuesday following the run, hashers will have 2 1/2 days to review the run stats to confirm they've received credit for the run just held.

The reason for the Thursday deadline is we close out the run accounts and run records for a run on Friday mornings. Corrections entered before Friday help ensure we have an accurate accounting of the run.

It is hoped with this policy in place the number of hashers that pay the signup fee and walk away before having their name marked off on the signup list will be reduced. This will also eliminate the cases where a hasher comes to us weeks, months, or even years later asking to correct a missed run in the records.

The one exception to this policy will be those with duplicate run records can approach us when they're close to achieving a run award. At that time we will merge the records so the run award reflects all their runs with the PH3.

Missed runs can be reported via email to the Webmaster.

Click On Name To View Hasher's Run History History

NOTE: Scribe Reports are written for your entertainment and are a work of fiction.
Any resemblance to actual people and events is purely coincidental.

Scribe Report by Captain Kangaroo

The hares Free Willy and Crack my Coccyx are a Halloween Joke. They didn’t have to dress up in Fancy Dress to look like fools today… the run they laid did that for them. Another “Free Willy fuck up” are words that spring to mind. How Free Willy could travel so far from town to find a cow shit, chicken shit, mosquito infested swamp to lay a run is quite a talent. The bus ride to the A site was pungently perfumed by the smell from surrounding chicken farms. If that didn’t wake you up then the sight of a swamp with a stampede of cattle running through the A site before the run had started certainly did! Hash shit for the Hares was administered as soon as possible in the circle but it was later reprieved for some reason. For those that completed the run long after dark with no torches and little paper to follow the run was not so much fun. It could have been a great run apparently: but after a 45 minute bus ride in light traffic, a 10km run and setting off at almost sunset it turned into a Full Moon Run. Just as well we had the Grand Masters of the Full Moon, Seaman Stains and Teeny Weeny there for the late night proceedings. For those of us familiar with Free Willy’s haring skills, the run was short and had us back to drink beer right on time. We had a great time.
Free Willy and Crack My Coccyx explained from the ice that it was a perfectly laid run except for 10 metres…  mmmmmmmmm… you know those 10 metres made all the difference. Hecklers from the circle said Free Willy was hopeless and that Coccyx Crack was just an idiot… well done boys. Don’t expect to be on the PH3’s Christmas card list anytime soon.
Airhead emerges from the darkness to take control of the circle. He commands it with the fervour that we have grown to know and love. He starts with the Halloween fancy dress competition. Free Willy reckons he is a Goblin because he attempts to eat an 8 inch dildo he has in his pocket. He doesn’t make the list of entrants but he must feel content in the knowledge that for the first time in his life he has actually found something 8 inches long in his pocket!!!
Back to the fancy dress… or as Dirty Harry says is the Gay Halloween. The male contestants range from GI Joe as the Monopoly Man and VV as a cross between the Grim Reaper, Freddy Kreuger, the Phantom of the Opera and the Skull. A pig eared man was quickly dispensed with from the comp and a joint prize was given to GI Joe and VV.
Only two women competed in their competition that was also a shared prize of dinner at Sir Frog’s Patricks Belgian Restaurant. The girls costumes were fantastic as a ghoul lady and a woman with her mouth sewn tightly shut. The woman with her mouth shut should have won simply because she didn’t talk all night. There’s only one other way to keep them quiet and that is to remind them not to talk with their mouths full! The funny thing was that the mouth sewn woman couldn’t smile on receiving her prize and is still recovering in Bangkok Hospital after her make up was removed during a two hour operation.
Before we move on to the kids fancy dress there is some Hash Hush required and Airhead reminds us to “hold it down because no one likes an empty bucket”. That got their attention. You tell ‘em Airhead.
3 little girl witches and a toddler dressed as a witch made 3 and a half witches for their competition. They all went to a lot of effort and their mothers should be congratulated. Airhead reminds the girls to enjoy this year because next year they’ll be cooking burgers for Sir Chicken Fucker. Being two prizes short allows The Black Sheep the chance to top up the prize pool with those really annoying monkeys that they love so much. BAAAAAAA. Handing out the cash to the girls was funny too as Airhead tries to give some Baht to the half sized witch. She refuses to take the money as she seems more interested in playing with the ice in the bucket. On her refusal to take Airheads cash, Sir Seaman Stains says that we shouldn’t worry because she’ll change. One day she’ll take Airhead’s money willingly! Never work with animals or children as they say in showbiz.
Some idiot lets off fireworks in the circle.
Airhead puts the Hares on the ice again with Karamba for not shutting up. Karamba says “you look” but never says another word before being put in the bucket. Airhead says that it won’t shut Karamba up but that next time he does speak, it will be with a higher voice.
Airhead brings in Big Dawg and calls him a long term friend. He also brings in Grasscutter or Whale Sniffer or Back Stabbing Cunt and calls them Dirty Shirters. A note for the Back Stabbers.
GM deals with returners and leavers… see list.
Somewhere in the drunken haze of my notes it says that someone refers to Fini the Faggot and Captain Kangaroo as a waste of time. Lone Wolf is Seaman Stains father. Free Willy suggests 4 Hail Marys for someone’s sins. Fini is an alien. Lone Wolf has been blessed by the Pope. My clipboard is my defence. Karamba always lies. I can barely read my own writing at this stage but this is the typical PH3 Monday banter that keeps us coming back for more.
Sheik Meme takes the circle and ices Norwegian Arse Hopper for taking beer when the runners go out. Hares are iced AGAIN this time to be reprieved of their Hash Shit. Fowl Fucker and Karamba take a seat for having contrasting teeth. Karamba’s look like a Hollywood movie star’s and Fowl Fucker’s look like he stole them from MR ED!!
Sheik Meme sits me down. Captain Kangaroo was renamed Skippy with a drenching of very cold water. I should know because I wore it.
Norman on the ice looking like Henry Kissinger’s love child. He was named 007 but on Karamba’s insistence he was instantly re-named Liberace’s Brother. A much better name choice if you know Liberace.  I still find it amazing that Liberace’s hair has never gone grey even though having sex at his age is like playing snooker with a piece of rope!
Uncle Pervy and Helix sat on the ice. Uncle Pervy walks off into the sunset whilst his fellow Canadian, Helix seems to enjoy the ice time… it makes him feel like he is back home. Bringing ice to Thailand is like bringing your own little piece of Canada.
Sir Chicken Fucker’s circle was hilarious as usual with good sports as his victims tonight. Karamba interjects again!!! I think it was Seaman Swallow that even had to scream out “shut the fuck up Karamba!!!” Karamba’s excitement at being home did make him particularly noisy last night but it was clever and funny stuff.
By this stage of the night things are getting a little hazy thanks to Bottomless Pit. He is “zeeeee best Brewmaster in zeeeee whole fucking world” and successfully got the Scribe pissed on beer and wine. Ssanks for nusssing Bottomless. You really aren’t helping me here. “Ground control to Major Tom”. “Houston, we have a problem”.
At the end I almost tripped over the Beer Truck bin and I asked the Brewmaster who put the bin there? He replyed “Itssss been in zeeee same place for twenty yearssss!” Ooops
Hash Hymn time. Solemn and enthusiastically delivered by all the Hashers. Swing low sweet chariot……
On On to TQ1 but at that point my memory conveniently completely eludes me!!!
This is my fourth Hash and second Scribe in the ten days that I’ve been here, so I’m going back to work in Oz tomorrow for a holiday!!! This place is killing me. Mind you… I can’t see myself staying away from here for too long! 
ON ON