Who on earth could make a run out of this beach side oasis just past Nong Nooch Gardens and it took the bravery of two virgin hares lead by Doesn’t Touch The Sides along with Slippery Arse and Black Hole.
What a difference a week makes. Hellboy, the joint Grand Master takes over the days proceedings and introduces the virgins and returnees in the first circle. This was an untried format which sort of fouled up with the returnees of Charlie Manson, Wetspot and Pugsley being given water down downs before the run and they then viewed Hellboy like he was a spastic! “WATER was the cry, isn’t this a Hash”!
The run was away with the first check across from the beach, a mere twenty meters from the beer truck.. Onon called and we are all heading south along the beach road, only to discover an FT some two kilometres from the A site. The upside was there were dozens of hashers that have never been on a false trail in their lives and that would have to be a world record, having 91 people on a false trail! The run was now a mass of confusion that didn’t get any better. Most hashers back within 20 minutes, having given up in disgust, at the prospect of finding true trail. The front running Sheik Meme was seen on a motorbike hurtling in the opposite direction as the mass pack of hashers shouting “false trail!” There were but only four persistent hashers that found that elusive paper at the northern end of the beach that would eventually lead us back to the beer truck some sixty minutes later. And for the record, those four that completed the entire trail were Mrs. Head, Robbing Bastard, Cheap Norgy Cnt and Sheik Meme.
The feeling at the A-Site venomous and the hares were looking very nervous about what might be. Hash shit was heard from the lips of many seasoned hashers, but that was not to be! It was concluded that the run was in actual fact a good effort by virgin hares trying to set trail between the Gulf of Thailand and the iron curtain of the Sukhumvit.
The weirdest Boozemaster in the world, Bottomless Pit, wins first prize in the raffle, which ironically was more booze. Which reminds me of the guy I seen at the casino that won everything, blackjack, roulette, the slots, you name it he won it this night. Leaving the casino he picks up an Indian girl, you know the ones with the red dot on the forehead? Well anyway, takes her home, has his way with her and wakes up the next day and scratches the red dot on the head, and won a fkn car!
While on the subject, Fini picks up his 50 hared runs shirt and Lone Wolf 200 runs mug! Pretty impressive on both counts!
Emperor Airhead had Sheik Meme in the bucket for finding true trail on the back of a motorbike, which Meme explained that we were faced with many two kilometre false trails and having seen two FT’s already, it was a case of logistics and beer. The Titty Twister pool team were on ice and resembled a pack of bank robbers. Certainly signs of a misspent youth. Just imagine Miserable Cnt, Hellboy, Arse-Holeo and that lot coming round your house to visit your daughters!
Hellboy the GM was doing a great job, he names this guy from the islamic republic of Blackburn “Play With My Balls” and then succumbs to the pressure of Karamba and Co and within a nano second is named Beetroot Head. As I recall, the first ever lottery winner in England, to the sum of 17 million pounds, was this guy from the islamic republic of Blackburn, who never claimed his winnings because it was considered usury. So why did he buy a ticket, the fkn moron!
Sheik Meme on in and confessed that he thought that the really dark honey with the massive tits, who’s name was hasher Rita, was first prize in the raffle! Hellboy subsequently instructed Sheik Meme that he should avoid black jokes tonight! Meme brings in the world champion fence sitters, the Swiss and tried to uncover the mystique about the Swiss Army Knife. Though they have not had a war in five hundred years, what was the tactic “get out of the way, I will get him with my spoon!” Hellboy was iced (sounds like the Hellboy and Meme show!) for lobbying the hash mismanagement to start the hash earlier on a Monday to accommodate his pool competition at Titty Twister. Tweedle Dick was renamed Jerry Lewis due to the striking resemblance to the funny man. It was told that Rudy Voeller was the only living man that walked into the TQ with a keg of beer, positioned it in the rear corner and got the girls to serve everyone beer till it was empty! This was done with Joe Otter’s blessing! Outstanding performance! Whilst at the Cambodia hash last week, Bangka Blower was charged for trying to pick up a six foot four katoy, and Testicles was in the bucket for sleeping with this same said katoy, George.
Charlie Manson entertained and iced Fini and Jerry Lewis. Charlie used the top heavy dark lass as a prop and went on to explain his utter confusion with why any man would want to be gay, when “girls like this have bums too!”
Hellboy was under pressure from the screaming left wingers and do gooders lead by Miserable Cnt, that were offended by Sheik Meme’s alleged racist comments when he was referring to the massively big titted African bimbo and used that common term, much associated with the American president, n*gg*r! The icing was viewed by many as a weakness in the GM’s leadership style and how on earth does an anti semitic German get to make those sort of judgments’!
Chicken Fucker stole the show with his fondling of that huge breasted ni….. lady, from Africa. They kissed and waltzed and Chicken Fucker declared that “feeling them big things is like having your tyres pumped up”! Chicken Fucker calling Hellboy scary boy and if the GM was Chicken Fucker boy, he would have been drowned at birth! Pugsley was in, because he escapes Vancouver without his lovely wife for a three week stint as a sex tourist in Pattaya!
The GM just could not stop and breaking from tradition just kept on icing people and a hash is not a hash without Miserable Cnt, and to make matters worse, he is still going through his mid life crisis, which started when he was twenty two years old! Make no mistake, he really is a Miserable Cnt! You know that his fondest childhood memory was running away from home! We all head back to the Onon bar of TQ2, where Right Said the walking miracle was there to greet the hashers, well anyway Miserable Cnt, was drinking Chang draught, and concluded, that “even though I don’t like Chang, considered that I can get two beers for 110 baht, that is better than paying 110 baht for one of what I really like”.
Anyway the hares got Chicken Fucker to do there song and we got another rendition of good old Yogi Yogi Bear.
The Hash hymn, we thought was never going to come and GM got Lone Wolf, Miserable Cnt, karamba and Sheik Meme in to conduct same. This was not strikingly exceptional except the GM’s second thought, was “Meme, you keep scribing, I am sorry I forget”, what on earth can you scribe while the hash hymn is on! The other extraordinary fact, is this is the first time we have ever seen Miserable Cnt sing the Hash hymn and was intently following gay Wolf for words and actions! Hilarious!
OnOn
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