Today’s hares are the males of the Cabbage Family: STAD, Cabbage Head and Cabbage Knievel. Cabbage Flaps decided to see if the males could go it alone without her help today! Some women believe that men are doomed to failure without their able bodied assistance! Really, Cabbage Flaps was taking a hard earned rest from the vigor’s of haring – as she single handedly hared last week’s great run!
After completion of the normal run instructions pertaining to paper, checks, false trails, etc. the pack of really dedicated runners departed the A-site at 1650. The normal A-site workers (Bam Bam, Seaman Stains, Bottomless Pit, Master Bates, Flipper, Free Willy, and Cabbage Queen) were busily tending to their various jobs that makes the Monday Hash really run! These individuals and the beer truck were guarded and protected by Sir Dog and his devoted band of Norwegian deputies!
On trail, runners were encountering numerous multiple 2, 3, and 4 way checks along with long false trails. Our senior runner, Rambo WW2, was seen falling (not so gracefully) going up one hill and down another! Yes, Jack was today’s Hash Crash with cuts and scrapes on his right leg and both arms! At this same time Liberace was observed wallowing in a large muddy, waist deep, puddle searching “for a pig” to cure his swine flu. BHPC and Ball Ringer did not observe any of this as they continued running thru the false trail trying to be the first back to the beer truck.
Our annual, Christmas time, returner – No More Cum alias Bad Dad – dragged himself out of Soi 5 plus 1 to join us for today’s run. But, as per normal, he continued his wicked way’s by “pissing” on a False Trail marker! Why do firemen always think that everything that’s red is on fire? During “all of this” goings on where were Scar with 2T’s and his sidekick Pinky? Rumor has it they were looking for a “lost hasher” in a local area pub. Gentlemen, if a hasher is in a pub he surely knows where he is! He’s not lost!
The lead runner’s returned to the circle area at 1740 and quickly jumped into the fresh fruit, chips, and liquid refreshments. At 1825, the circle was called to order by the GM Seaman Stains who iced today’s hares in traditional fashion. Initial run consensus ranged from an overall “very good run to a great run”! Seaman Swallow (nice to see you back) conducted the raffle and iced Fini and his visiting friend “Tong Colek” from the Bandung Indonesia Hash for talking! Really – not Fini for talking!
Emperor Airhead entered and promptly iced the hares! Run reviews now ranged from “great run to a perfect run”! The highest compliment voiced was “a very professional job”. The circle was unanimous about the final outcome! No More Cum was iced for wearing “gay apparel”! The Emperor seems to have forgotten that it ‘tis the proper season “to don your gay apparel”! If you got it – flaunt it baby!
The GM returned and conducted normal business: returners, visitors, leavers, virgins, and awards. Bottomless Pit – 400 runs and Cabbage Knievel – 5 Hare cap. SCF entered and iced “this year’s stand in GM” and “next year’s proposed GM” Hellboy. It seems he was observed “drag racing”, to the A-site, down highway 7 when his tire blew! Or as Master Bates put it – Hellboys “tire on fire”! SCF provided the required “jack” and drove off (only to find out later) that Hellboy also needed a correct sized “lug wrench” to remove the tire. Rambo WW2 arrived shortly and provided the proper wrench! Thanks to today’s “Hash Hero’s” – SCF’r and Rambo WW2!
Anal Breadfruit and family were asked “if the size of the family would increase by one” next time they returned again! The wife and three daughters said, “yes” but, voted for another girl instead of a boy. Other items of significance reported on were: Miserable C—t’s being robbed again; Ringworm’s inability to find his missing key; and Colonel Corn hole’s misses fascinations of sleeping with snakes; Tampax’s new job “as a personal driver” for none other than V V; Scar with 2t’s and Pinky being SCB’s; and finally about SCF’rs Birthday and retirement.
The hares helped to conclude today’s circle with an “electric guitar” rendition of: I’ve Got A Dose, You’ve Got A Dose, We’ve All Got A Dose” of the “Clap” for Christmas! The circle concluded with the Hash Hymn led by our GM Seaman Stains. The bus departed for the “Rifle Club” where Christmas Cheer, good food, and fellowship would be “passed to those who were in attendance”! Thanks to the Winchester for hosting tonight’s On-On. A good time was had by all. Thanks again to the“hares” for a great day. See everyone next week.
On-On
Sir Spag Head