The Monday Run starts out as well as can be expected ... the bus gets lost since there is no hare on board to give the driver directions. After a tour down Hwy. 36 the A-site is found.
Robbing Bastard is trying to smooth things over with the irate land owner who wants to know what all these farangs are doing on his soil. The circle is called with the usual order of business, it's nice to see some Hashers can still afford new shoes!
The runners take off toward a field of cow patties.
First in are the Short-Cutting-Bastards Bottomless Pit and Miserable Cunt; King Yao-Yao leads the real runners back. Flipper is flippin' her burgers as the beer truck starts to get raided by the returning runners. Scar w/2 Tits is parading around in some questionable attire he stole off some katoys in Cambodia, lucky for us he changed shirts by the time HellBoy called the circle. As commissioner, Sir Dog duly appoints the beer police, that Norwegian hippy-biker Rasputin sure looks like a dirty cop to me!
Sir Arse-Hopper and another nameless Norwegian get iced for being the last ones in the circle. The Hares, StepToe, Flying Finn and Robbing Bastard are immediately and appropriately iced. The lovely Hash Flash Seaman Swallow prepares to conduct the raffle as HellBoy holds a secret meeting with her to insure a fix. Barnacle Bollox bullshitting his butt is iced; a word of advice, don't interrupt the raffle! Scar w/2 T's wants to trade his romantic CD's for the lady's purse the other winner has secured. German virgins (an oxymoron) got iced for being both German and virgins. Our top Religious Advisor, Emperor Airhead ices the rotten lying Hares who claim they were all picking up Jungle Run paper so there was no Hare on the lost bus. Lone Wolf gets iced for attempted cow-tipping, while Miserable Cunt cools off for being a squealer! Pinky and Scar w/2T's are iced for their queer Cambodian trip where it is noted miss Tiffany wins katoy hostess of the year among "stiff" competition! Lone Wolf is iced for looking like Al Capone in his Karamba-styled safari hat ... but while nightmarishly glaring for his photo, it is noted he much closer resembles Freddy Kruger!
Our German G.M. takes the circle again. The returnees are honored with a beer. The virgins and their sponsors are iced while they repeatedly recite the one word they have learned in English, "YES !" ... a handy answer to all questions! Colonel Cornhole cries for some attention and gets abruptly iced, as are the Hares once again. Seaman Swallow proudly accepts her 300th Run shirt.
The bad Religious Advisor, Scar w/2T's takes the circle and lands the Flyin' Finn in the bucket for general laziness! Icy Davidson and HellBoy share the ice for condoning Cambodian sponsorship. MudCracker is iced for forgetting the 2 most important words on a hash Run ... "On-On!" Scar w/2T's ices Pinky as they regress and reminisce about past conquests.
HellBoy restores order by icing Sir Chicken Fucker, who tells of all the great sex awaiting him if he could only remember the way to get home! Anal Cheese, with his spear-chucker tan, gets iced for being an ice-chucker!
Sir Chicken Fucker notes King Yao-Yao and The Queen have left the circle early ... he keeps track of who's getting "laid" and other "fowl" activities! He continues going down the "pecking" order and icing appropriately.
At this point 2 very important things occur : the half sheet of paper I was issued to scribe on is filled as the ink runs out of the pen, and my self-medication kicks into full gear! The rest of the circle becomes a blur, and after the Hash Hymn it's off to the T.Q. for expensive drinks and cheap hot dogs!
On-On,
Icy Davidson