Total Hashers This Week - 83

Click On Name To View Hasher's Run History

Correcting Run Records Policy

To encourage hashers, and hash virgins, to take responsibility for ensuring they have received proper run credit, the deadline for reporting missed runs will be Thursday evening following a run. As run stats are posted to the website by noon of the Tuesday following the run, hashers will have 2 1/2 days to review the run stats to confirm they've received credit for the run just held.

The reason for the Thursday deadline is we close out the run accounts and run records for a run on Friday mornings. Corrections entered before Friday help ensure we have an accurate accounting of the run.

It is hoped with this policy in place the number of hashers that pay the signup fee and walk away before having their name marked off on the signup list will be reduced. This will also eliminate the cases where a hasher comes to us weeks, months, or even years later asking to correct a missed run in the records.

Missed runs can be reported via email to the Webmaster.

Click On Name To View Hasher's Run History History

"When the heart is full, it is time for tears. Happiness is as the butterfly. If you can catch it in your hand. You must either let it fly away. Or keep it and watch it die." Hindu Proverb 1590.

Yes I know I have used the above as an opening for a scribe before but as this is the St. Valentines Day Run then I bend my knee to no-one.
FreeWilly the love bucket himself was due to be the hare for today but after our favourite tax-man Robbing Bastard phones me in panic ten days beforehand to complain that another Hash has stolen his run and could he do the Valentines Run to show he was up to it. I relented and he took on board young wannabee Colonel Cornhole to lay today's run.
That's my story and I am sticking it.
A picturesque A-Site...or at least it will be when the area is finished,with a semi builtbridge to navigate over to get to the car-park. Plenty of space which isbarely used as the sign-up is around eighty.
Obviously not everyone is as romantic as some of us.
The Hares aided by soon to be mother of Colonel Cornhole Noi... aka.. Same Same explain to us about the run.
When I mean us that is the people who do not have multiple Hash jobs and can enjoy the "schlurry" through the shiggy on a Monday afternoon.
Off into the wild green yonder traipse the multitude. Shortly afterwards a girls screaming voice can be heard which is not exactly a rarity on the Hash. 7 year old Snoopy had fallen off the river pontoon into the stagnant drink but help was at hand as Nurse Dick dived in to save her. Apparently Snoopy's father Sir Dog said he did hear the screaming but he had just opened a fresh beer and it was a shame to waste it.
I am arranging today's raffle prizes when Torpedo Tits asks if she can taste the 5 kilos of mango's before buying some tickets. "Only if you use the same principal for the rat poison" answers your scribe.
A little too close for comfort time wise, most of the runners make it back to the A-Site with some climbing over an adjoining wall to "short-cut".

There is an old maximum relating to the Hash.
A Grand master should be: "An English Gentleman, being just, upright and a free man of mature age sound judgment and strict morals."
Well I am not the GM anymore (the seat is being ably kept warm mind) so we have to make do with Hellboy.

The PH3 "Gunshumacker" calls the circle and the main complaint is the lack of paper on the run. Apparently Colonel Cornhole laid out 1400 Baht for special Valentines run paper. Obviously if it is that expensive then the locals will "acquire" it for themselves. Certainly if someone stapled paper on my crops I would walk around pulling it off also so maybe there is an NB for future hares. Still the Hares got away with it as usual so it is on with the raffle. As I sponsored the raffle prizes by way of making up for not Haring I call the raffle numbers. Amongst the winners are Torpedo Tits with a vibrating penis lighter as well her her cherished bag of mangos.
Someone who has not seen a bag of mango's for many a long year Pissed Pole Dancer wins the packet of 7 different flavoured condoms.... The happy hour is at your place tonight Liv is it?

At the last PH3 money count someone suggested presenting the girls with flowers for Valentines Day.. Modesty forbids who came up with the idea and Bottomless Pit did a good job ordering the flower wraps from his local florist and at only 25,000 Baht for the 20 flowers BP says that the invoice he has presented is cheaper than the Hash could have bought flowers elsewhere!! So it all cracks in the circle to be presented with their flowers.

Emperor Airhead takes the circle to ice the Hares first off. The girls are asked who has been given Valentines presents and there are no surprises when it is revealed who woke up this morning empty handed.
Airhead is a great one for reminiscing and Dr Dick is brought in to celebrate his 50th birthday.
Anniversary's are dealt with. Flipper 450 Runs (Don't ask which one she enjoyed the most). G.I.Joe 350 Runs and Bam Bam 150. Dr Pinky has a 400 Runs shirt outstanding but as he fails to attend these days and nobody can be found to pass the shirt on to him Emperor Airhead is given the shirt to save it from being left in the garbage.
For those with an eye for history Flipper is on course to be the first female "Sir" in less than a year..... (Unless you are one of those who classify Sir Fossil as of the female persuasion).
Sir Chicken Fucker takes the circle and administer punishment to a variety of sinners. Queen Stella is off to the farm leaving Yao Yao to his own devices. Tiger Bum and bandana sporting friend are off to Boys Town so are duly iced. Never forget what the numonic Gay stands for SCF. Good As You Honey...The "H" got in the way as it often does in English. Or to put it another way do not knock it until you have tried it.....maybe this is the problem...SCF thinks he may try it and may like it.!!!!!! As the Holy Koran states a man should always make contact with his feminine side. SCF has been enjoying himself placing Valentine.s heart stickers on female's Hashers boobs. Slight Moment of panic when he pressed PPD boob as they nearly had to send out a search party for his finger.
Hellboy ices a shirtless hasher with no name...Daniel Bone...Sorry to say Daniel comes from the same town as myself and Turd Burglar so being shirtless but definitely no shitless does rather let the E.17 brigade down.
Hellboy did ask me to tone down the prizes for this evenings raffle and the cock lighter had to stay in its box in case it upset the Hash Horrors. True to form then it was no surprise to see the Fuhrer performing s sketch asking the reason why the art of fellatio is termed as a "Blow Job" when in fact it is the reverse action applied. Also Hellboy claimed that according to statistics at least 3 hashers should have the ability to suck their own cock.
No one volunteered thus rendering strength to the Sir Winston Churchill quote of "There are lies, damned lies and statistics.?." (I had no idea that Winnie had done 500 Runs .!!)
More anniversaries of a sort..Our Teutonic "gunshumacker " informs us it is 66 years to the day since the allies bombed Dresden to oblivion. Aaaahhhhh the good old days. Still more according to the T.V.Documentry last night 10 Million fraulines were raped by Russian solders in 1945..... Which just proves you should never take a cheque from a Russian.!!! Hellboy's argument being that the Germans suffered as much as the allies. Hellboy do as the jews were advised... Forgive and Forget.!!! It never happened..It was all propaganda. On the other hand as we say where myself and Turd Burglar come from.." If you can't do the time don't do the crime.!!! ".
Scar with Two T's has his turn to clown around and Daniel Bone again is the victim of his own excess amongst others.
Sir Spag Head gets his fifteen seconds of fame when icing SCF and Master Bates over having their car clamped by parking on the wrong side of Pattaya Tai on the odd day outside Tuk-Com...Word of advice John...It costs 20 baht to park in Wat Chai Market..Suffer the 50 metre walk mate.
No Hares song forthcoming from the Hares so SCF serenades them with an old favourite Barnacle Bill.
Hash Hymn led by Pussy Snatcher is duly strangled by the multitude and then it is off to T.Q.2 for what I will assume in personal absentia was the usual hearty fare of pizzas and hotdog's.

If I have missed anyone out its tough. Faces and fannies I never forget but names are for tombstones.

On On
Free Willy