Last week’s epic novel of a scribe will be a difficult one to follow so I will include a review of my new boots just to pad it out a bit for this weeks veterans run. The A-site was just off the road and large enough for the 50ish hashers who turned up with a neatly marked out circle provided by the experienced hares Sir Frog & Lone Wolf.
After an ankle injury a few years ago, I have taken to running in boots but my last pair disintegrated on a hash a while back. Not being scared of our traditions, I accepted my fate of a cool chang before the run started. As I entered the circle presenting my shiny new hi-tecs, our GM decided to treat me with 2 cans of chang. First test for the boots and each boot will comfortably hold 2 cans and are as claimed completely waterproof (well beer proof). Unfortunately due to the high ankles and cut away backs they were not an ideal vessel for quick drinking as the beer tended to get up my nose but I struggled on and eventually finished my refreshing brew. There is nothing like some complex carbohydrates before exercise.
The hares informed us that it would not be a good idea to shortcut unless you are a strong swimmer and the run did not start up that big hill. Off we all trotted down a track and the boots felt light and comfortable and I was enjoying the scenery so much, I realized I had run past the first check. I decided to continue anyway as I was here already and as luck would have it, the paper presented itself followed shortly by check #2. I used my same logic and pushed on straight ahead finding paper again. After a good 500m, a dreaded FT appeared and I started to head back. I heard a female shout on-on to my right so I snurgled through some dense vegetation onto the true trail just behind Bell End & Ball Ringer. I can see the usual FRBs ahead and we all settle into a steady pace with the quiet of the countryside occasionally disturbed by the shout of on-on. I closed up to a visiting hasher called Ali, a British Soldier based in Brunei as we arrived at the next check. Ali is convinced the trail is to the left but I stick to my guns and go straight on again. Finding paper fairly quickly, I called on-on and heard the same from the other trail. Again the FT reared its ugly head for me and I plodded on back to the check and on the true trail past some ostriches and some people swinging through the trees on some treetop adventure activities. The trail skirted round a lake and on the other side, miles in front I saw GI Joe jogging on. The trail doubled back on itself twice before the next check where Mrs Head & Ali were deciding which way to go. I went left, Mrs Head checked right and Ali went straight finding a false trail just as I found the true trail. The paper headed into the shiggy and I was grateful for the ankle support offered by my boots on the uneven terrain. As the trail opened up, I realized we were hand railing the polo club road, therefore fairly close to the A-site. Sure enough the paper eventually led to the black top and on-in within sight of the bus. The final test, running on the road and the boots are still doing their job well with enough cushioning to absorb the impact giving a good spring with each stride. Our GM Hellboy greets me back with “You are first back, you are scribe”. I thanked the hares for a good run and settled in to the post run activities. In summary then, out of the box the Hi-tec X-lyte leather boots performed well on all surfaces and were light but supportive with no chaffing at all (possibly due to the pre-run lubrication). Highly recommended 5 stars, available from most good Pattaya sports retailers with offers of 30% discount, don’t forget to fill with beer (then drink) to break them in before use.
The circle highlights (full version not available due to notes turning to mush when it started raining and the scribe being suitably refreshed as to not care). Bow wow won the rice cooker in the raffle and after prompting by her Dad, Prawn Princess (Also 100 runs) took the wine. Cabbage Queen took the portable stereo and another win from Prawn Princess left 75% of prizes going to the Cabbage family. If you buy tickets, you win prizes. There was a lot of discussion over the double hash shit awarded to Colonel Cornhole, the outcome being Hellboy and the Colonel each taking a single hash shit from General Kidney Wiper (along with a lot of head slapping and hitting with toilet seat). Sheik Meme entertained us all for a while followed by Lord Chicken Fucker then Sir Frog with Hellboy managing to assert just enough authority to keep things moving (a difficult task while wearing a toilet seat around your neck). Sir Frog performed a fantastic improvised hares song whilst doing a bizarre robot dance around the circle. Sir Stains led the hash hymn before the crowds dispersed from what all agreed was a particularly good circle. A few of the more intrepid (meaning drunken) hashers headed back to the Titty Twister for Chili and more refreshment, thanks to Hellboy. See you all next week.
On-On
Cabbage Head.