Monday again and back to the well known A-site at the flying club. As the GM personally had picked the hares, we were all looking forward to an amazing run. And we were not disappointed. What a run. Elephants, birds, cows buffaloes and dogs all over the area. But due to the lack of checks there was no time to stop and enjoy these sights. My girlfriend Black Hole together with Liberace were the last to finish the run due to the fact that they had to take care of all the scared animals after they got to know that Colonel Cornhole was back in town.
We all had some extra excitement when 2 micro planes got “Tangled up in blue” wondering what was all going on. Finally an ambulance arrived on the scene and sorted out the mess.
The 2nd. circle started with the raffle. It seems that cassette players are among the favorite prices, and Free Willy is now looking for used cassettes as there will be a huge demand for this among the hashers. When Free Willy asked for volunteers to help him, Cheap Norgy raised his hand stating that he was the proud owner of about 100 empty cassettes which could be used for recording evidence in the circle. And as usual most of the prizes including the cassette deck where won by our Thai members, even the GM had enough of this and tried to bluff his way to a prize, but as we all know, he ended up in the bucket.
After getting somewhat dried up the GM renamed Fairy Queen for the day to Poodle Penis. Hard to know why, I think the GM knows more about this than he is willing to tell us.
Then there was a period with a lot of icing. Our visitor from Papa New Guinea was iced. His name was Wanking, or maybe that was what he was doing? Anyway, a great guy with a great haircut.
A German guy was iced because he complained about the beer. He rather would have had wine. A German complaining about the beer, we all thought that was bullshit. Wrinkled Dick was invited into the bucket and he surely lived up to his name. The Canadians were iced due to the fact that they prefer Negroes to French.
Lord Chicken Fucker took command of the circle and the hares were immediately iced. Using his well known methods he easily established that they were all receivers. Then he iced Lady Gaga because she was wearing the same shirt as him. Her boyfriend Pig Pusher Swine Stabber was blamed for this and was iced as well, sitting next to Lady Gaga. They really had it going on the ice and Lord Chicken Fucker had to send them back home before things got out of hand.
After things had settled back to normal, Lord Chicken Fucker iced Bottomless Pit, due to his favorite German football team winning a match last Saturday. We were told they won 47 – 11 against a football team from Cologne. No wonder there was a heavy smell of female perfume around the area.
Hash Nosh, a visitor from New Zealand was iced, apparently because she noshes (a lot).
Black Hole was put on the ice. She confirmed she has a law office, and was, together with Lord Chicken Fucker questioning my ability to do the scribe. They were considering taking legal actions against me. And it is true. I do not write, I make drawings, it helps me to remember. And the result is this scribe.
Arse Hopper was iced and we all asked where his companion was. He admitted that he had traded her for a buffalo in Korat. But he had an option to trade her back at a later stage.
Then Lord Chicken Fucker informed us that he is going to the hospital tomorrow for a body check up. Usually he goes to Boystown to do this, but as his funds are running short he is going the hospital this time and making his insurance company pay.
The circle was given back to the GM. Colonel Cornhole and Gangreen were bucketed because they had taken the hash camera to walking street, taking pictures of all the corn and all the holes. Then the camera was lost. (In one of the holes?). Liberace raised his voice saying he knew where the camera was lost because he met them together with Lord Chicken Fucker in one of the sleaziest establishments in the town. He had forgotten the name but would be willing to take us all back to the place.
The GM got so excited that he had to ice himself. After that it really took off and the GM decided to ice everybody according to nationality and he admitted he was al little bit “retarded” at this stage.
Lord Chicken Fucker and Master Bates were iced, and then promised that next Monday they will bring their guitars, tambourines and congas and entertain us. We are all looking forward to this and they promised to perform “It’s All Over Now Baby Blue”. Among hashers this song is known as “Fuck Off Bitch”.
As time was running out, the hashers were called to sing a song which they did with the help of Lord Chicken Fucker. After this it was time for the hash hymn and a last goodbye to everybody.
See you all next Monday.
Doesn’t Touch The Sides