When we wake on a Monday and organize the days activities after a weekend of rugby finals, formula one and in my case, yacht racing victory, and we look at Clit Faces artwork in the form of pattayah3.com, and see that the hares are Captain Cornhole and god forbid, the Turd Burglar, well nothing exciting about that! Captain Cornhole with an unenviable history of poor haring, along with a succession of Hash Shit awards that complement his haring abilities, has teamed up with the Turd Burglar, who, having been a Monday hasher for as long as Tampax, has never hared a run! Well, this is going to be just dandy isn’t it!
King Yao Yao, Sir Chicken Fu*cker and Sir Frog took advantage of the possible disaster that these hares were sure to materialize and are now in hospital, up on blocks, being mended of various wear and tear and we wish them a speedy recovery.
But to everybody’s surprise however, the run turned out to be a sensation, (relatively speaking)! The A-site was roomy, albeit a little too grassy, however by the lake and plenty of parking close by.
I was going to say something about Spag would have fixed same with a brush cutter, but I will abstain (in joke, sorry)!
The run itself was a whopping eight point five kilometers through some scary country, with mud and water after the deluge the area has experienced over the past days. The tapioca was a never ending adversary! The paper however, was sensational, hanging at regular intervals with little possibility of one loosing ones way. The daring hares introduced colored checks and false trails. This has of course been done before, however worthy of mention, the Turd Burglar chose violet for the checks and yellow for the FT’s. An absurd selection, one would think, however, when they put the violet and yellow together for the ON IN drawn in the mud, it made for an artistic delight that illuminated the landscape and drew gasps of appreciation from certain hashers like the gullable Ball Ringer.
On with the circle, which was hastened by the Grand Master because he had to go to the opening of the Hells Angels Club House, as he felt compelled, because we gave him the name of Hellboy with one F, and he acts out that role very seriously, and he dragging along his infamous tenant Ferry Queen, who also plays his roll in life with passion, but at three foot nothing was a little trepidatious about the opening of a Hells Angels shed! Possibly the real reason for starting the circle early was the rumbling’s from the Miserable C*nt which coincided with the rumbling’s in the heavens which were sure to spoil the party with a continuation of the wet season!
It was exciting to see that this small crowd of fifty odd runners broke all records for raffle ticket purchases and this was inspired, we suspect, by the upgrade in prizes from the very popular tape deck to the CD player! So well done Free Willy (the new FW, not the old one) and thank you to Ewok for being his dashing assistant. It was also determined that FW is more than capable of doing the raffles and the rags while organizing the 2022 Pan Asia Hash in Pattaya, for which he is accepting deposits now!
Some significant returners being Emperor Airhead who was absent due to a bone out of joint, Sheik Meme, who was getting rid of spooky things with Crasher in Australia and Billy Sheilds who was in Australia assisting Meme with spooky things in the outback! It was odd that these three returners were the only religious advisers this evening, which consolidates the fact that the PH3 is a transient, somewhat hippy hash with the absence of the passionate and often offended Jungle Hashers, and the permanent foundation of the perpetually in debt Bottomless Pit!
Due to that fact that Captain Cornhole was partially responsible for a better than expected run, it was determined that Free Willy was obliged to loose weight each week and that was facilitated by the official scales produced by Captain Cornhole at which Free Willy weighed in at a whopping 148.5 kilograms. Now, I believe the routine is, that if he is no lighter the following week, he must sit in the bucket. So, America have Obama Care, but we have Karamba Care and Free Willy’s only hope is to get around there and get one (or fifty) of those coffee enema’s shoved up his arse! Cruel but kind, are the PH3!
Emperor Airhead in the circle is always a blast and tonight was no different. Ferry Queen with a shaved head would look like a mini meme Hellboy type of thing and can be seen living in and operating the Titty Twister and Meme with a moustache would look like Airhead doing same at the TQ. The hares were questioned and KK’s new baby’s mother, is no longer a violent alcoholic monster and has settled down to be a loving kind mother. KK is still swearing it is Free Willys baby and going by the size of it (almost as big as Spaghetti Head) at 3 months, it is no real surprise!
Squeeze My Tube had achieved 200 runs and is so not interested, she did not bother to cum in and collect her award. Which by the way, is not to dissimilar to Spag, who abstained when invited into the circle, which is proof again of the age of discontent and no respect is upon us. See what happens when they vote in a non American black person to run the shop! See that, I am learning after the GM’s chastisement, I didn’t say ni**er!
And it’s Miserable C*nts 54th birthday tomorrow and we wish him a happy birthday and don’t feel so bad, not long to go now buddy! And he is having a party with all his friends in that phone box on second road near soi 8 tomorrow evening.
And so it is official, this week’s run scribe was brought to you by Sheik Meme, who was apparently slotted by the GM as the hare for this run along with Liberace, and failed to know any details due to having a wonderful time in Australia. It should be noted that the Hareline was hijacked by the GM as a conspiracy to release himself from Hashshit and shame the Hareraiser thereby cunningly transferring Hashshit from himself to the apparently slack and unreliable Hareraiser. The pitch on the telephone call went something like “Meme, you hare a run, I have everybody put there names down to hare a run to shame Miserable Cnt, like Airhead, Chicken Fucker, Yao Yao, Really Sadistic Bastard and Drippy, I know you busy going to Australia, but you be back late October yes?” And that’s how it all got started!
Till next time……………………………..
OnOn
SMM