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To encourage hashers, and hash virgins, to take responsibility for ensuring they have received proper run credit, the deadline for reporting missed runs will be Thursday evening following a run. As run stats are posted to the website by noon of the Tuesday following the run, hashers will have 2 1/2 days to review the run stats to confirm they've received credit for the run just held.
The reason for the Thursday deadline is we close out the run accounts and run records for a run on Friday mornings. Corrections entered before Friday help ensure we have an accurate accounting of the run.
It is hoped with this policy in place the number of hashers that pay the signup fee and walk away before having their name marked off on the signup list will be reduced. This will also eliminate the cases where a hasher comes to us weeks, months, or even years later asking to correct a missed run in the records.
Missed runs can be reported via email to the Webmaster.
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"The average American male is two pay slips away from skid row," John Steinbeck The Grapes of Wrath 1939 Who else but Piss Poorer has decided to marry his latest poo-ying at 7.00 a.m. on Halloween? With Bottomless Pit, Sir Free Willy, Miserable C--t. Sheik MeMe in attendance along with V.V. in his best flip-flops and dirt shirt and Teeny Weeny dressed for the occasion wearing a Full Moon shirt only three sizes too small for him it was far too early for a coffee so we all cracked open a beer. That is except for SMM who took advantage of the free chardonnay on offer thus spelling out the shape of things to come. Golden Rule.. Never mix the grape and the grain. As Free Willy had extolled the virtues of today's Halloween Run I decided to make a rare appearance on my Mother hash. The bus arrived at the now infamous a-site 30 minutes late due to the chronic traffic in Pattaya caused by rich Bankokonians leaving their home city to allow the proletariat to drown. Sir Free Willy and Crack My Coccyx had pulled out all the stops this time. The a-site was a derelict Thai crematorium where an estimated 10,000 souls had been reincarnated. SFW and CMC had paid the locals 4,500 Baht to clear the "debris" from the site leaving a wide all concrete area that will be jumped on by other hashes for years to come. Or until someone turns it into a vineyard full of grapes. Scattered around the A-Site and adorning the sign-up truck were Halloween "gifts" of severed heads and feet as well as Ju-Ju dolls knives and spears. I did actually fear momentarily that Spaghetti Head had thrown the final straw in his vendetta with SFW and the body parts belonged to him. This was further born out when the G.M. called the first circle and a severed bloodied head was hurled into the circle and HellBoy declared it belonged to SSH himself. Thankfully this was a false alarm and the head turned out to be just a dummy. Hares on in to explain about the run with Same Sames new born baby being brought in as a Halloween sacrifice. The paper was devil red and black and run started through the Gates of Hades liberally adorned with grapes. As I do run I settled down to start to devour the sumptuous feast laid on by the hares. 15 bags of crisps, German sweat bread, mango's. bananas,a tree of lollipops, 100 bars of chocolate, 50 dolphin shaped jelly's so that everyone can say they eat Flipper and somewhere I am sure I saw a whole punnet of black grapes. Before I could touch the food SFW assured me that should one digit touch the overcrowded food table my punishment would be ritual disembowelment. Me-thinks save that for SSH. It is a shame the little sailor is not here today as by all accounts he sits in the circle oozing malevolence and sending out evil vibes to everyone else. Strange really as I well remember that SSH had no interest in hash politics until one day he went into Patrick's Restaurant to relieve himself. The AGM meeting was taking place and when he came out of the rest room Emperor Airhead and a group of the "Good Ole Boys" with a combined PH3 run total of nine had made him G.M.. Talk about conduct unbecoming!! As I remember Spag pleaded to step down after a few months as he could not take the pressure. Now his mission in life seems to be to bring sadness and misery to anyone attempting to have a good time. There's nought so queer as folk. The runners traipse back in after around forty-five minutes which is ideal on a six Kilometres run at this time of year. Not one word of dissent was heard and everyone agreed that the run was one of the best of the year. Circle called rather too early as because of the traffic problems many hasher's were still winding down. showering and looking on the food table for the grapes not withstanding Ewok and SFW offering bribes and bodies to set a new record for raffle ticket sales. As it was Halloween Ewok said "She was a Goblin" or something like that. The GM maintained that he had a pool match to go to and Emperor Airhead was hot in his uniform so a rather hasty circle ensued. Again it was decreed by the assembled pagans that the run was a stonker and no sacrificial offering to Hanuman were needed. Raffle time and the first prize of a CD/DVD/MP3 Player was won by Flying Finn. As in keeping with his countries pseudo Nazi disposition FF immediately asked SFW to wrap the opened player carefully for him. This job was eventually undertaken by Sweetie who probably mistook the player for grapes. By this time the "locals" were in attendance on the edge of the circle. They did not look Thai and thankfully Sir Stains being fluent in Thai decreed that these onlookers were in fact Burmese as he recognized the Rangoon dialect spoken. As chocolate and toys were in abundance SFW watched as the Burmese formed scrum downs to shame the All Blacks when giving out the excess fare. No matter what they were not quick enough to claim the black grapes. EA on it and with a stonking good day declared there was nothing to do but to congratulate the hares once more. Fancy dress time and in addition to the free sign ups the PH3 have laid on prizes for the best dressed man. Girl and Child in a Halloween costume. No cracks take part and large teddy bears are all given to the kids. Airhead dressed all in tin foil is voted second best dressed male and the G.M. immediately hands him a bottle of Jameson's whisky. It is quickly pointed out that EA did not actually win and so should not have been given the first prize. Thinking quick on his feet as any good G.M. should Hellboy quickly hands the winner OddJob a bottle of Jack Daniel's. Phew a close one and a good job SFW bought more than one decent bottle of liquor.!!!.. Guys stick to grapes for next weeks Loy Kratong run. Sheik MeMe had turned up rather worse for wear after the wedding excess.s and had refused to sign up. As HellBoy was leaving the circle early he passed on the message to his delegate Scar With Two T's that SMM was not to have any PH3 beer or be given the circle. Some hopes. With more San Miguel a plenty inside him SMM staggers around the circle with Bottomless Pit and SFW on ice proclaiming the "Good Ole Days " of Auschwitz even though the Antipodean midget got the country location wrong. Australian Grape growers... Piss takers the lot of them.!! Scar With Two T's takes over and duly gives both hares hash Shit for a certain individual leaving a can of paint on the trail. If it was grapes it would not have been a problem. The PH3 would not be complete without Lord Chicken Fcuker (now there is a man known to like a grape) strutting his stuff and with some prompting from SFW ices the Aussie's for not showing respect to their Queen on a recent visit to her upside down dominion. Asked how to show how to properly courtesy the only one to get it right was SFW himself. As Really Sadistic Bastard does not want to repeat his star turn of last week (let's face it two circle's in 452 runs is enough for next to free drinking for the next nine years) the hares are called in to sing their song. Upset probably because the grapes were all gone. Choosing to sing Judge dreads "I'm a Wanker" SFW as hampered by Bottomless Pit purposely printing the lyrics out too small for reading. Thankfully the former G.M. of two other hashes Steptoe comes to the rescue to help SFW to get through the ordeal. Sir Free Willy himself takes the circle to ice his co-hare Crack My Coccyx for not denying he left the can of paint on the trail. As SFW was one of the first in the U.K. to undertake a no-comment interview when the U.K. government withdrew the right to silence for security force detainees SFW suggested heavily that this was the best course of action should the situation ever arise again. There are certainly no grapes on him. Hash Hymn strangled and it should have been off to the happy hour. However with Sheik MeMe now on another planet he attempted to get his moter-bike onto the bus being stopped by Miserable C--t and Colonel Cornhole. Before the bus could move off the Hash was treated to the spectacle of Oddjob (still dressed in his warlocks costume complete with wart nose) and myself fighting it out for some reason that escapes me now in the full headlights of the bus. Have you ever tried to have an argument with a deaf Norgy? Whose got the biggest grapes maybe? The bus finally screams away and upon turning on to the Phoenix promptly takes out part of the roof of a Chinese supermarket. In true Thai driver tradition the bus fly's off into the night. However upon reaching Pattaya Tai the bus is surrounded by police and as "slip away on a baht bus " is the order of the day Johnny Tra-lala is left to clear up his own mess. Whether this means there will not be a bus next week remains to be seen. Who cares. I will not be here for another six months. Or until someone finds the missing grapes.!!! On On Wank-Kings Wanker
