With the Pattaya traffic being worse than usual due to these Bangkok folk invading out fair city and me running later than usual I decided to try and catch the bus as I went up Pattaya Klang, Bus in sight I was slightly relieved but with Johnny Tra-lala spotting that the police men controlling the traffic at the light by Big C were the same ones that he tried to out run last week so he was not stopping there for no hasher, so I jumped on the back of a motor bike taxi shouting follow that bus in pure movie style, followed by my command of drive lil lil, with the waving of a fist full of 20 baht notes I managed to get the taxi to give chase to the hash bus up Pattaya Klang, Johnny eventually slowing once he was sure the police where not in hot pursuit allowing me to board the bus and on to the A-site.
The A site was located next to the Chaknork Reservoir which for those of you who don’t know, is the water that you shower in and for those of you who don’t shower I guess you don’t care anyway, but a good A site anyway.
I got in line for sign ups and had a chat with some familiar face, good to see you guys.
The circle was called with new shoes and virgins called in with sponsors for a pre run down down.
Today’s hares Bottomless Pit & Miserable C!!! on in to explain about the run and paper that they have laid and off we go, across a couple off fields, around a few cows and down a load of dusty trails until, we came face to face with a big tree covered hill with a Wat at the top and, by group agreement we decided to go left towards the lake instead of right towards the big hill, next we could see the A-site on the other side of the reservoir and followed the trail back to get some ice cold beer.
The circle was called and Emperor Airhead put the hares on ice, a good run was called by all including myself but, with some of the FRB’s not returning until after dark it appears that there maybe a hash saboteur!. With extra paper stapled across crop fields that the hares claim not to be theirs sending FRB’s and a few virgins in the wrong direction.
GM Hellboy starts today’s Loy Krathong competitions with the Kratong float contest, entering are Flipper, Cabbage Princess & Prawn Princess with late entries from Lord Chicken Fucker and Obewan but as the two late competitors Krathongs were for the express purpose of attracting a Katoey mate they were disqualified and placed on ice, but well done girls and prizes given out.
Next the Loy Krathong costume contest with entries for Cabbage Princess, Angelica and Snoopy, with the circle not being able to decide on a winner all 3 girls were awarded 1st prize claiming their favourite toys, well done girls.
The raffle was started with Karamba winning a keyboard and boasting about how he cannot wait to get it home and start belting out all of his favourite hits by his much loved band ABBA.
Also winning where Jan Sorenson, Spankinstein, Scar with Two T’s winning a giant can of beer but complaining about it being warm so the beer was put in the bucket and was Scar, and Lord Chicken Fucker clutching a toaster shouting across the circle to Master Bates that the good times are back as they can now have hot food at home again, Master Bates was not looking that impressed with the prospect of a diet of hot toast and cold beans on the horizon.
Bad RA Emperor Airhead’s circle and so to ice the hares again, great signs to the A-site but where are these missing runners, and with a raw of back firing Teeny Weeny returns on his mighty steed having found said runners.
Next Karamba was on ice for playing with his organ in the circle and a rendition of Waterloo (for those of you that do not know your history that was when the British lead by the Duke of Wellington stuffed the French lead by that little upstart Napoleon on the 18th June 1815 in a little field in Belgium, There were a few Prussians but they turned up late.(not the next two times though)).
Anyway this ABBA song was to woo one of Karamba’s co-worker Kryptonite into having dinner with him and the promise of a 5 gallon coffee enema, why the Norwegians can’t have their morning coffee the same as the rest of the world I guess we will never know!
Frog Doc visiting from San Diego Hash was put on ice with his 2 virgins Brian Dunne & Brian Ruppe (wasn’t that a Steve Martin film “The Man With Two Brians”) any way after the two Brian’s claimed that the ice wasn’t that bad they were thrown in at the deep end as “too the bucket cried out from the circle” as these 2 virgins from the Good Old US of A where to find out many a time on this night their first Hash run.
Scar with Two T’s on ice with Big Dawg and Back Stabbing C#nt for Scar renting the TQ short time room “Too Have A Sleep” much to the dismay of the TQ girls and the very angry cleaner, I think it was the 22 litre Double Espresso Coffee enema that she was not happy about all over the walls, ceiling and bed!!! Still Big Dawg and Back Stabbing C#nt have never looked so perky! or worried!
Helix on ice for losing all four of his virgins as seems to be the habit with Helix at the moment.
ET celebrates his 250th run as does Karamba, 350th for Rambo WW2, 50 runs last week for Cabbage Princess but no award and 550 for Sir Stains with myself Absolutely No Fucking Idea collecting my 100th PH3 run shirt, Emperor Airhead was up for his 1150th run but was by this time on his way back to the TQ as he has another 850 runs to do for his next milestone.
Leaver Sir Stains on in followed by the lying leavers Helix & Kee Mah.
Next it was the turn of the very bad RA Scar who put Sir Free Willy in the bucket and the 2 Brians on ice for talking and not giving him 100% of their attention, Beverly Hills Pink Cock was iced for being himself say no more and the less said the better.
Bottomless Pit was voted best dressed hippy, it was a tight competition but as he was the only hippy on the hash but a Hash Hero for organizing the beers week after week the circle let him win anyway.
Lord Chicken Fucker takes the circle by storm icing the hares along with Hellboy and Scar for talking in the circle, Liberace’s Brother was iced for being gay but we very much doubt if his situation was going to change from last week so I guess he will be on the ice next week as well.
The goings on of last weeks bus crash and following PH3 Hash Bus V’s Pattaya Police chase where re-enacted by Helix with all hasher fleeing the scene of the final road block/hold up, leaving Johnny Tra-lala holding the can.
Master Bates was iced by his father Lord Chicken Fucker for staying out late on Saturday night, so LCF takes advantage of an empty house to bring round some old bird, but with LCF keeping his little blue valium pills in the same jar as his little blue pills of the Viagra variety and having grabbed a hand full, necking them with a large bottle of Chang, it appears he was up/down/up/down until the start of the run, and didn’t know if he was cumming or going to sleep.
Paprika Smiley & Black Justice on ice with Sir Free Willy and Friar Fudge in the bucket for something that I’m sure he was guilty of.
Lord Chicken Fucker sings the hares song followed by Sir Stains leading the hash hymn and it was back to the TQ who stepped in at the last minute for some meatballs, ice cold beer & shit kicking Rock ‘N’ Roll music, nice one TQ.
ON-ON
Absolutely No Fucking Idea