Run story by The Badman.
After rocking up to the a-site (easy to find for a change) being jet lagged, I was tapped on the shoulder by the GM saying you have a free run next week, so I guessed what for, am I the scribe? Yep!
So after forming a circle and blessing the new shoes, the hares Sir Arse Hopper and Midnight Star explain about the run and off we all go. Being jet lagged I just went at a steady pace, it was a nice area, even a bit of old black top, some hills to climb but not too steep. No cattle, just a few friendly dogs. I got one good false trail towards the end, I saw a couple of short cutters in the distance so I ran through and joined up with them into the on-in. Well done hares I thought after 45 mins, I gave a few toots on my bugle on trail so nobody got lost.
After a few amber nectars and Flippers nice spring rolls the GM calls the circle with the hares on ice and asked the pack how the run was, good effort said most.
Free Willy steps in and calls the raffle (where are the nice cracks who normally do this duty I thought to myself). Anyway some nice prizes apart from the carton of cancer sticks with the ugly labels, one crack won 1 of those 2 big horns but wanted both, I wonder what for?
Next Emperor Airhead steps in with some religion, firstly the hares for their well set run, he congratulated Midnight Star for her first effort and she said she will do it again.
Bottomless Pit was iced with the Kings chair which he wrecked last week so he did some repairs and the fat bastards tested it out, it was a pass.
Next the GM welcomes the returnees and the visitors with a down down and there was one lying leaver ‘The Bladder Blow’ so a nice cooling in the bucket for him.
Scar With Two T’s dealt with for his drunken behaviour in the Titty Twister, half naked throwing up everywhere so other Norwegians in the bar gave him a good clip around the ear and he was finally carried out.
Scars circle now and he couldn’t wait to get Miserable Cunt in the bucket for being an arse hole on a bar hop. Apparently he ran out of money so he decided to piss off stealing Scars helmet he could sell it to carry on. What a wanker. He should wear The Hamersley Wanker shirt! He is also now known to be a taxi driver for 11 drunken hashers, he gets the money up front and then doesn’t return for the trip back, he then turns his phone off.
The GM ices his German mate about yet not making up his mind about choosing his German girlfriend or his Thai girlfriend, I guess he wants the best of both worlds!
Next it was Free Willy with his gay mate Crack My Coccyx who had a bandage on his head, it turns out they pissed off a Katoy so got whacked on the skull by it’s Pink handbag (song nom nah one would say).
Now whilst taking notes I kept getting interrupted by being iced, firstly The Aussie Hamersley anthem takes it up the arse do-da and Shithead buckets me for a change, 7 years ago on the Phuket 1000th Run, apparently because of me he almost missed his flight because I woke up legless after a heavy drinking night, It was Chipmunk who saved my life that early morn, I threw up all the way to the airport, so I had a good down down for that.
The GM next again with Scar in the bucket for being such a famous well liked hasher, he always has that smile which gets him out of the shit.
Spaghetti Head gets called in but where is he? Apparently he was hiding, so is he going deaf?, maybe, or just being another badman.
Next a Scottish crack on the ice who has no hash name yet. So after a few votes we all cheered to the name of Saggy Haggis, holy water was poured over her. Well she was a little flat chested but she was alright!
Well by this time the circle went on and after many down downs my memory became a blur, I remember Scar icing me about some good times we had in Amsterdam with a pool table and a harriette when I got lucky and potted the brown in off the pink!
So it was finally the hares song by Midnight Stars new Mammy whilst the hares sat on the ice, then it was the hash hymn.
Another great circle, then off to Jameson’s for some great tucker. Many thanks to Kim and his staff.
On On
Arse-Holeo