What a year that was. Nuclear disaster at Fukushima, Bin Laden shot
dead, Gadaffi shot, Kim Jong ill dies and Clit Face resigns from the Pattaya hash,-- no more please lets just get this year over.
Chapter 1 –Baby Jesus
You know if you want to believe in the tooth fairy, Easter bunny
or even the very popular baby jesus that’s fine by me, my thoughts
are that you could utilize your time better but up to you. I hate
Christmas,-- I mean how does it go, the Virgin mary and her kid
Jesus!!! walking about looking for a Hotel and had to sleep in a cow
box. Well what do you expect, looking for a Hotel at Christmas is
always difficult.
You have probably gathered by now I'm not a religious follower,
infact being the first to be shot and thrown out of the aircraft steps
by fanatical religious nuts is just not cricket. My life is just as
important to me as yours is to you. Infact I don't have any one to
whinge and pray to or ask forgiveness.
Chapter 2 -- Germans
I like Germans,-- and the French well some of them,- I
particularly like the ones coughing up all this money in Europe and
saving the European union, so different to how they were in 1945.
Talking of Germans our illustrious German tyrannical dictator hell boy made a wonderful attempt at looking kind and caring for the Christmas
run, sporting a convicts hair cut , tattoos and sores on the legs and a
general unshaven look as he gently placed a Christmas tree next to the
ice. Continuing the German- French theme, Bottomless pit and the famous
French VV laid the run. I didn’t do much of it. Infact I confess to
walking some of it and then walking back again (I still got lost).
If VV was anything to do with it it would be good anyway, I knew
that. And so did everyone else.
Chapter 3 Christmas cheer.,
8 gifts were given to 9 children!! (I was informed) a
difficult situation ensued. A 44 inch flat screen TV, a 2 week trip on Queen mary and a years subscription of short times were just a few of
the gifts given by a surprise visit by Father Christmas himself. I
strongly suspect it was a member of the hash dressed as him but I
couldn’t swear to it. I did notice that he had the same shoes as Air
head but –naaaa, it could’nt be –could it?
There were some naming's N stuff and all sorts of things going on but I don’t want to waste too much time because I need quite a bit of
space to tell you about the---BUS RIDE FROM HELL.
Chapter 4 The bus ride from hell.
I Barely know where to start, lets just picture a bus with
drunks, not enough seats, smokers and a bus with no windows, no air
conditioning and people trying to piss out of the door. Many
arguments and even a heated discussion developed as to how we should
get to the Titty Twister and even whether we should be going there at
all,-- shouts of turn left or go back finally died down and after 45
minutes of passing a seemingly endless supply of 7-11 stores we saw a
sign Titty Twister.
Half the bus got off, far more than the 5 who put up their hands at the circle as hell Boy warned there would be no food for
those who came over the 5,--even Miserable cunt got off. It was at this point that the rest, or most of them decided to
have a piss stop. That road will stink like a public toilet tomorrow.
You may think that's the end of the story yet the worst is to come. The bus drove away but then stopped about 1 KM down the TT road, Why I don't know but then he turned round and went back to the Titty
Twister and got out of the drivers seat and went into TT. Had he not
been paid I wonder!! This was the last straw for most of us and Corn Hole decided he
would drive the bus (told you it was getting better) he almost made
it but the driver 'Johnny' pulled him out. He returned to the back of
the bus muttering about he had a 27 tone license just before he nearly
fell out of the open door. For the second time we pulled away from TT, I don't know what
time it was but it was time we were back in Pattaya that's for sure. I
sat in the seat just aft of the entrance door, this was a big mistake
as people tried to piss out of the door whilst on the way not to
mention spitting and throwing up. Then it started this drone of a never ending "mother fucker' name
calling by some crack at the back of the bus at people who said
anything about Johnny the driver. It was at this point I seriously
considered throwing myself out of the open door and risking my chances
of injury just to get off this fucking bus. She would not stop, on
and on it went. 1 hour and 15 minutes after leaving the circle the bus pulled up
at the Lek hotel. I got off and ran.
On On
Fowl Fucker