Well it’s back to Thailand for another holiday and as its Monday it’s a hashing day, as I get on the bus I see my old friend Golden Dildo hogging the back seat all to himself due to the fact nobody else could fit on there with him.
Well after paying my monies it was saying hellos to hashers, then the GM Hellboy approached to inform me that I am the lucky hasher to be this weeks scribe, well it was to be expected due to the lack of English writing hashers so here goes.
7H15 M3554G3 53RV35 7O PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5! 1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5! 1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG 17 WA5 H4RD BU7 N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3 Y0UR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 17 4U70M471C4LLY W17H 0U7 3V3N 7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17, B3 PROUD! 0NLY C3R741N P30PL3 C4N R3AD 7H15.
PL3453 F0110W 0N 1F U C4N R34D 7H15 :)..
Any way back to the run report, it’s the PH3 annual Paddy’s Day Run but we have no Irish running with us at the moment so stand in hares are Fini O’Faggot and Key O’Mah. Directions where given by the hares and off we went, some time later we are back at the A site for some good home made stew, Irish whiskey and a free run towel, the circle was called and the trail was put to the vote, good run for both the long and short runs with many happy hashers.
MEME’s Bitch gets her name changed again from Minnie maow.
The raffle was held by Sir Free Willy with winners including Fini the Faggot, Testicles & Stupid Kraut Kunt.
Scar with Two T’s takes the circle and ices Miserable Cunt and Barnacle Bollox for not singing, then puts the hares on the ice, there had been a few hasher lost on the way to the A site including the bus due to the map not being understood by all, Lord Chicken fucker did a 30 Km & 1 and a half hour detour until he got back on track.
Hellboy's circle and he ices the hares and the prize is given out for the Jameson labels left on the trail with Really Sadistic Bastard winning, returnees are called in, too many to mention here, Barnacle Bollox and Really Sadistic Bastard are back in the circle for talking along with visitor Jimmy Who with Barnacle Bollox talking himself into the bucket this time.
Leavers are brought into the circle for a down down Colonel Cornhole, Golden Dildo and Turd Burglar.
Sheik Me Me takes the circle to comment on how Turd Burglar on his last night hashing before going home is beer police and how unfair this is so volunteers to take his place guarding the beer truck which was a very nice gesture on behalf of Sheik Me Me but having never been beer police before due to the fact the beer police are because of him (kind of chicken and egg story) and the fact he has always had beer police there to hand him a fresh beer it was at this point that Sheik Me Me realized that he could not actually reach in to the eski because he is in fact vertically challenged, he decides to do his beer policing whilst standing in the back of the truck.(reminded me of when I went shopping at Big C super market and the mothers putting the kids in the front of the shopping trolley)
Hellboy puts Stupid Kraut Kunt on the ice wanting to know about him abusing his position at the German TV station and taking advantage of junior staff, promising them promotions for sexual favours, now we all knew this sort of thing went on within the entertainment industry as Stupid Kraut Kunt being in a senior management position proves that if you are keen and willing to put out just that bit more than the others on the casting couch you can make it all the way to the top, and lets face it with SKK being as vertically challenged as Sheik Me Me he had a long way too climb!
Lord Chicken Fucker iced himself still pissed off with the extra petrol burnt to get to today’s run and Hulk was iced for Miserable Cunt’s comment about not needing an eye test for being stupid, then Lord Chicken Fucker iced Special Price and Pinkaboo for something about hair jobs and Foxy Cleopatra for smoking in the circle.
Wank-King was put in the bucket or at least hovering above it for refusing to be beer police on the fact he had to baby sit his son in the circle, guess that means that he can be permanent beer police when his son is not running!
Extra Testicle & Testicles were put on ice having just returned from the Philippines Nash Hash, talking bollocks when Barnacle Bollox takes the circle for some entertainment, he should have a chat with Stupid Kraut Kunt as he can show you how to go far if you are willing to put out a little.
There was a joke from the visitor Jimmy Who and Lord Chicken Fucker sang the song for the hares based on Lilly the Pink, followed by the hash hymn and on to Titty Twister.
Things you don’t hear said on the PH3
Sheik MeMe – Let me get this round lads!(@ the On On bar or any bar for that matter)
Miserable Cunt – Still Mustn’t grumble!
Jello Butt – ON ON
Clit Face – Those French have just so much culture!
Really Sadistic Bastard – GM can I lead this weeks Hash Hymn!
On On
Absolutely No Fucking Idea