Our wonderful A site was chosen by the hares so they were in a position to work their magic and surprise us all. Stinky Sloppy Seconds, Cheap Norgy Cunt and Helium Head were the main protagonists that produced an exceptional Monday of hashing bliss. The A site was situated just off highway 7, however, Johnny Traa Laa Laa took the bus via his humble abode at the Wat, where he had a band of his disciples delivering his food. Notwithstanding, it was a torturous 65 min journey to the run, when on the way home via highway 7, it was a comfortable 17 min.
Big numbers turned up and Hellboy dealt with virgins and new shoes, and this virgin from Orange County, in California, where they grow all the dope, have grown this idiot that asked if we had any gluten free beer for its new shoes down down. Turns up to a drinking club and can't drink beer! We can blame Piss Poorer for that, as he collared this idiot from the airport to pay the taxi fare to Pattaya and therefore Piss Poorer felt this debt of obligation that he had to expose this idiot to all of us on the Monday run.
What a sensational run! It was 6.5 km (excluding FT’s) of some of the best running area which was picturesque, challenging and extremely well thought out. Everybody was there! Scrumpy was there with his tribe, and young Tiana made it through on her own legs to the very end. Ratso Eel Sniffer testing out the new engine room valves and King Yao Yao blissfully skipping through the trail with an unusual happy disposition because of Queen’s temporary absence from his torture chamber.
The Vietnamese Violator had a birthday and was providing caviar in a tube on crackers, and GI Joe was noted commenting that if it's pink and smells fishy it can't be too bad! Talking about smelling fishy, the annual Ebony Princess award, which was unhappily donated by Mr Bean of Uganda, this year went to the most persistent imbeciles and the runner-up was Miserable Cunt who got nothing more than smelly fingers, but the eventual winner was Absolutely No Fucking Idea with an astonishing triple pike with a twist, on the corner sofa at the Carousel that impressed the tribal judges and awarded him first prize. Dirty, dirty bastard!
Back at the A site, Steptoe was providing cheddar cheese with his wonderful Branston Pickle.
The circle underway and Emperor Airhead was at his finest! He initially came in still chewing on three parts of a hamburger but quickly recovered to deliver a splendid performance that had the crowd in stitches for near on 15 min. He confessed that this was the best run in 30 years and congratulated the hares with six B-52 shots at the TQ. The highest ever award given to the hares on a Monday run. Additionally, the hares were provided with get off the ice free cards and we were all provided with a well thought out rendition of why we can't live without women. Sheik Meme and Absolutely No Fucking Idea were iced and the story was uncovered about Miserable Cunts relentless campaign to dethrone himself as being the miserablest cunt on the planet by his relentless campaign to disparage Meme. It was uncovered by the Grandmaster that Miserable Cunt managed to spend seven hours at the Titty Twister with non-stop drinking whilst hurling abuse at anybody not from the Isle of Wight, upsetting all the customers, making the girls cry and managed to leave with a bar bill of 120 baht. Now that is fkn miserable! Never had to explain that name to anyone, they all get it!
The Hulk and Hellboy were iced for harbouring criminals at the Titty Twister, being a haven for the roughest, toughest bike gangs in Thailand. The Black Sheep, which consequently started on the Monday run has grown into Black Sheep MC, and the three-year anniversary was celebrated on Saturday evening with over 200 partygoers and represented by every bike club in Pattaya. The street was blocked off by the police so as the drunken partygoers can drag up and down the soi after they were intoxicated. Very considerate of the police don't you think? Conspicuous by their absence were the Jesters, and considered such a snub by HB, he is now receiving counselling to overcome the deep hurt.
The raffle is always a success under the stewardship of Free Willy and some of the highlights was BB winning the lingerie nightwear and Rubber Dick winning the Gilberts gin and immediately donating it to Billy Shields liver, who was overwhelmed with surprise.
Stinky Sloppy Seconds picks up his 200 runs.
Scar With 2 T’s told us stories of Stupid Kraut Kunt adventures in Koh Samui, which as you can imagine were extremely colourful and only something that SKK could pull off.
Hellboy gives Mr Bean the circle, which was a really dumb idea, as this guy began ranting about the lack of respect that the PH3 gives the visitors by actually putting them on ice. I believe that the Grandmasters have learned their lesson, and you'll never see visitors on the ice again. Dick!
Stupid Kraut Knt takes the circle, which is always a great treat, but he is a little difficult to understand after 47 Heineken’s. You know what I mean?
BB entertains the crowd with a song taking the piss out of the Harriet’s.
The hares song was a bit of a treat with all the Norwegians on one side and the Germans on the other side singing some national number that makes absolutely no sense at all to Ball Ringer, but what ever does!
So all in all it was a fantastic run, a sensational circle, and if you miss it, you missed a great day out!
On On
Meme