Monday Again and I arrived at the A-Site with PISSED AS A RAT and my son and heir Sam.
A healthy 87 sign-ups gathered round as the new GM NO MORE CUM calls the first circle. New shoes dealt with and a virgin was called in. Virgin, Rose with her sponsor HONEY BEAR opted for H2O as opposed to beer for the traditional christening.
This weeks Hares ROBBING BASTARD and STEPTOE on in to explain the run and off we traipsed into the wild green yonder.
Two runs available and I chose the long run which in hindsight (truly an amazing thing) was a mistake due to being a greedy bastard the previous night.!!!' After 1600 plus runs who remembers the run.....BUTTTTTT after a flat start we went into the surrounding jungle for some welcomed relief from the sun. Lots of vine, lots of ants and well surprised I enjoyed it.
Back to the A-Site to wind down. 2nd Circle called and of course the Hares are straight in for an icing. All in all the multitude agrees it was a good run.
Raffle called and re-appointed Raffle Master SFW announces anyone winning three prizes and claiming such will be rewarded with soggy bums. Which is just as well as STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS and the new unnamed German/Thai taxi driver Alexander both served their penalties for three wins before wily old GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER refuses his third win to save himself from the same fate...Simple solution to multiple winners.......Shake Em Up SFW.!!!
EMPEROR AIRHEAD takes the circle and calls in Mike Stenseth, an ex-helicopter pilot now running with us. Like those flash Yanks tend to do he had two "working" names in STUN GUN and MC FERRARI. However courtesy of the PH3 he receives the PH3 moniker of ANAL ROTATE HER LATER.
Rose, the virgin, called again with sponsor HONEY BEAR along with Raz, Fai and Pat along with sponsor Deano who personally last attended around 2004 and has forgotten his Hash name, for the usual down downs.
Awards time and ROBBING BASTARD honoured for completing 10 Hares. KARAMBA has now completed 300 Runs.....only two more runs than he has been married.!!!!! ARSE-HOLEO receives his 20 Hare Shirt.
All Filipinos iced in for being chatted up by the guys and in turn flirting back while the awards were being dealt with.. Do they not know it is rude to talk with your mouth full.?. Harking back to times previous, Neville ARSE-HOLEO licks the ice the Filipino cracks were gracing.
GM NO MORE CUM takes the helm again and puts SPANK ME HARDER in the bucket for opening the table food before the run even started as well as GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER and SRSB for breaking down last week after being too tight to put a 5 Baht bottle of water in their car.
GAS MAN on ice along with SFW while GAS MAN's girlfriend gamely jumps in the bucket to be named GAS GUZZLER. MANX PEDOPHILE PUSSY FUCKER is FINALLY renamed MODIFIED PUSSY FUCKER.
Hares back on to explain why the run was called The Wounded Knee Run.
SFW and WANK-KING'S WANKER come up with the names for the runs and this one related to ROBBING BASTARD having a new metal knee last year....... For some reason our illustrious GM trawled the internet to find the what really happened at the Indian Reservation of Wounded Knee 120 odd years ago.. For your information everyone had forgotten about until Marlon Brando refused his Oscar for The Godfather in 1971 until the unfortunate incident was marked or remembered or whatever... sending a Red Indian Squaw to refuse his gong.... remember.... no.? ................ Phew! And I though we came to run and piss.!!!
SCAR WITH 2 T'S takes over and ices HELIUM HEAD and FLYING FINN for something to do with drinking offenses.. Joining them was SMM and CRASHER for the latter wearing a men only shirt as opposed to buying a fresh one from the rags.... Accordingly to SFW the Antipodean Duo did look at the rags briefly but when asked what size CRASHER was SMM replied "50 Baht".!!!
SMM takes over and ices SWTT by way of retribution along with Alexander, LONE WOLF and GAS MAN in the bucket for yapping. ARSE-HOLEO iced again along with GANGREEN for something to do with anther Hash. ( sic )
Birthdays dealt with. Visitor, BANANA IN PUBLIC on in and FUZZY LURE in the bucket for spending his birthday sitting in the bucket... Happy Birthday guys.
Just before the Hares Song, Dean, Rix, Pat and Fai all on ice for leaving empty beer bottles in a heap behind the circle.. As evidence HONEY BEAR took a photo of the rubbish obviously thinking she was back on Smokey Mountain.
Hares on in icing HONEY BEAR and Virgin to sing the Hares Song. The old favourite The Threshing Machine.
Hash Hymn strangled then it is off to the Happy Hour for further imbibing and bullshit. Having a six month old baby my father duties prevent me from attending but I will assume in persona abstensia it was the usual successful end to another successful Hashing day.
On-On! Modified Pussy Fucker