The day started on a hot Monastery Hill with instructions from the hares SCAR W/2T’S, BELL STAR, MENTAL DISORDER and MENSTRUAL DISORDER. We were told not to piss on the sacred Buddhist shrine surrounding us, to go around freshly planted fields, not to run past the many cow herds and disregard the big monkey with two service dogs. As as is par for the course most of those instructions were disregarded by our passionate hashers. However, the clever hares put a check in the middle of a pasture filled with the biggest herd of cows. It was a miracle there was no stampede because of 92 hashers all standing around trying to be calm. The walk was basically 6K and the run maybe 8K with everyone back within an hour and 45 minutes.
Once the GM, THE WIZARD, called the circle to order, he polled the group on the run. The common consensus was the run was kinda boring with little challenge. We later learned that MENSTRUAL DISORDER did not reconnoiter this run, so all the knowing looks went to MENTAL DISORDER. For it’s commonly accepted that when he’s left to his own devices, the runs are kind of short and vanilla. We were further dismayed to learn MENSTRUAL will be absent for 4 months visiting family and nursing MENTAL back from another knee replacement surgery. They will be sorely missed! Good Luck Guys!!
The Raffle, currently being managed by MENSTRUAL DISORDER and overmanaged by MENTAL, had a “Record Sold” last week. However, there is a small group that miss SIR FREE WILLY’s unique selection of dildos and panties. Go Figure?!?
RA, EMPEROR AIRHEAD, started with flexing his muscle and threatening the loose lipped with the bucket, but quickly softened when he announced a FIRST in the PH3 History. Apparently the Beer Hunters were bused to their secret hunter bar and got stranded with no ride back. So for the first time in Hash History, the sick, lame and lazy had to walk back. It was whispered that it may have been almost a kilometer of staggering! Imagine the grumbling about the leadership abilities of the Beer Hunter Captain, SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD!! For Shame!
The GM awarded the “Hash Hero” to ODD-JOB for cleaning up the trash and debris around the shrines. This prestigious award was followed by presenting the “Hash Trash” award to SCAR W/2T’S for pissing on the ground near one of the sacred shrines. He argued, which was totally out of character, that he was innocent. He was unaware that there were two shrines in the dark woods. However, he still racked up some negative karma points on that one! HaHa
MENTAL DISORDER and MENSTRUAL DISORDER supervised the Valentine’s Day observance with roses for the Harriettes. We felt sorry for poor MENTAL because his idea was good, but the execution was like trying to herd a group of cats. When you combine, affairs of the heart with alcohol anything can happen. The men were to get down on one knee, place the rose in their teeth and allow their partner to retrieve their rose with their teeth. As you can see, even on paper this is complicated, but somehow they managed to pull it off. The observing crowd was overcome with emotion and heartily down downed its completion.
Interesting side note, SPERM POLLUTER got engaged to CASPER in a past hash circle and subsequently got married on his birthday. On Monday, the big romantic, presented his bride with a bouquet of roses (he says he got them from a florist) for their anniversary. Love was in the air!!
Our brave GM conducted another Valentine’s Day quiz show at the expense of his lovely and current wife, BURLY CHASSIS. As entertaining (yawn) as it was in its brevity, we’ve all noticed that THE WIZARD only uses BURLY CHASSIS as the straight man when she’s not there. He’s very smart, could be why he’s our current GM.
RA, NO MORE CUM, noticed that one of the raffle winners, ANFI, won two raffle prizes. The RA explained that accepting two prizes simply was not done at the hash. ANFI tried to stupidly justify his selfishness, but as we all know, it’s impossible to get one over on NO MORE CUM. He’s a bulldog!!
THE WIZARD, our beloved GM, awarded “Wanker of the Week” to MENTAL DISORDER for his attempt at being last weeks scribe. MENTAL contacted the GM during the week claiming he lost his notes. The GM stated he watched him lean on the piss truck all during the circle drinking and taking no notes. (Bet he thought MENSTRUAL DISORDER had him covered) Anyway, MENTAL asked THE WIZARD, via email, to write down what everyone said at the circle and sent it to him. Cheeky bastard HaHa, I guess he forgot he was no longer the GM! HaHa Therefore, we have a new “Wanker of the Week” MENTAL DISORDER.
Finally, the GM was able to capture WANK-KING'S WANKER’s attention for the awards ceremony. SPECIAL PRICE had 150 Runs, NO MORE CUM had 250 Runs and BELL STAR had 5 Hares.
The evening wound down with the hares singing their song “Yippy Yai Yay... Yippy Yai Yo” and the circle closed with the Hash Hymn. A good time was had by All!
(Still no giant monkey with 2 service dogs)
On-On! Jack Wow