Songkran Run.
What a magnificent area to visit for a run. Many thanks to the Hares for organising the venue, well done.
This Scribe offers apologies in advance for omissions and errors in this report as recording of events started later than usual. (My story, my version).
The 1st circle saw a pair of pristine white ‘New shoes’ . The owner ‘Tonet’ is no stranger to Hashing, however her previous Hashes may not have celebrated ‘New shoes’ in the way PH3 does. That said, she enjoyed her beverage enthusiastically. Virgin ‘Kevin’ from Canada was invited by Mount Me.
The Hare brief was delivered by Duchess Tadpole, who explained the use of shredded paper and hanging paper, checks being the usual red/blue coloured sticks. It was at this time DT excitedly declared “You might get wet” and “I hope you can swim”. My mind turned to the fact I had only just washed and dried my shoes from a previous Hash. Walkers trail was said to be abut 4km and the runners trail was about 8km with 2 splits and 2 merges. On out a little after 4pm.
Upon return to the ‘A’ site, delicious food prepared by the Hares was offered. Spring rolls and Pad See Euw Gai with condiments proved very popular with everyone.
The 2nd circle was opened by The Wizard in the absence of the Beer Hunters who had unusually failed to return to the ‘A’ site just as the beer coolers were opened. (The Beer Hunters did find their way back about 1 hour into the circle, having had fun at their venue).
The Wizard placed Shit Lips on the ice for having taken a “Hash Crash’ Award home last week and pointed out that Awards were to be returned at the end of the 2nd circle, not displayed in home trophy cabinets for ever. This week had 4 Hash crashes, with Two Time requiring photographic evidence of her being non vertical before she would adorn the ice. (Hope was another Hash crash, however I was not taking notes at the time.)
HARES ON ICE. (Always a good choice). The Hares dressed in Thai clothing and were as beautiful as their trail. The Walkers gave the trail a positive report (Brotherly Love – “Great Trail, I loved it”. Limp Dick ‘Enjoyed the paper”. Ball ringer “Very very good and I liked the food”). Runners also gave the trail positive reports (Scar with 2T’s – “Good trail, food paper, good food and more female Hares to be found”. Skidmark enjoyed it , but wanted more checks” (This must have been to tire his son Sin Bin out as Skiddy was not FRB this day). Crap Thai claimed he knew the ladies would deliver a good trail and food). Spastic Whore King sang the Hares off the ice with ‘Share my DNA’, without reading the lyrics from his phone.
Emperor Airhead called one of the many people named ‘Kevin’ onto the ice. German Kevin needed a Hash named and the Emperor informed the circle that Kevin was a good friend of Stupid Kraut Cnut and liked ‘the white sausage’. It seems Kevin was able to convince EA to try ‘the white sausage’ at breakfast. However EA did not like the outer skin, which should have been taken off. Various names were proposed and circle members cheered for their choice. New to PH3, Tonet proposed the name of ‘Wasted White Sperm’ and it was a clear winner. Virgin Kevin from Canada was invited to the bucket (which he filled easily) and Byron was invited to the ice. Byron was questioned about his activities during the week. He was vague but admitted to riding around in the vicinity of some schools. EA announced a “Byron-watch” was to be conducted this week in an effort to learn what Byron did in the area.
Circle returned to GM for the RAFFLE as the wind strengthened, leading to predictions of a storm approaching. Winners included Cookie Monster (beers), GI Joe (Electronic Scales), Unstable Load (wine), Crap Thai (foldable stool), Norwegian Judas (biscuits), Stupid Kraut Cnut (gas stove), Smokey Trucky Fcuky (Mayonaise) and Dragon (Chiang mai t-shirt).
RA Scar with 2T’s called Virgin Kevin into the bucket and asked about his trip to Pattaya from Canada. Virgin Kevin claimed to have only been in Pattaya for 2 days, but could not explain what had happened to his knees. The marks resembled 18 hour old carpet burns, but he doesn’t lay carpet. Antique (Hash Rags) was called to the circle to explain the new ‘Batman’ PH3 shirt with an apparent reversal of the “Drinking club with a running problem’ motto”. Mount Me was modelling the new shirt. In true management style Antique blamed someone else and The Wizard GM (as husband of the designer) claimed it to be “Irony”. Ironically (or perhaps predicatably but definitely amusingly) it was The Wizard who was iced. Skidmark and Crap Thai were iced as a thank you splash for inviting Scar with 2T’s to the Chiang Mai Male Hash (CH3) Outstation last Thursday.
The Wizard called Antique to the ice, thanking him for his efforts as Hash Rags to date, setting a new record with 16 shirts sold at today’s run. A Hash Hero Award presented to Antique was cheered by the circle.
Sperm Polluter took the circle and iced Virgin Kevin and Mount Me for warning his virgin ‘Not to take beers into the circle”. Splash for the ‘Upper U.S.” members. No good deed goes unpunished. GI Joe was iced for breaking his raffle prize (bathroom scales) as soon as he received it. Crap Thai was iced for intending to destroy his raffle prize (stool for small person). Smokey Trucky Fcuky was iced for choosing the raffle prize (mayonnaise) thinking it was some other substance that could be squirted. Mayo Queen was iced for wearing a gay jacket whilst sexing in the circle. Skidmark, Snail Trail, Chatterbox, Sin Bin and Crap Thai as representatives of Chiang Mai and were iced accordingly.
The Wizard returned to take the circle for “WANKER of the WEEK” and called Mount Me (Mr Goody Two Shoes), Mayo Queen (sexing in the circle whilst wearing a gay jacket) and Stupid Kraut Cnut (seen videotaping the naming of Wasted White Sperm (previously known as Kevin) = no cameras in 2nd circle). The circle was definite in it’s voting SKC as Wanker of the Week, however SKC appealed the decision. A second vote followed and the vote was deafeningly definite. I believe SKC is the 1st person to win Wanker of the Week twice in the same week. Birthday splashes to Beetroot Head and Golden Rivet. Two (2) new inhabitants of Pattaya were welcomed to PH3. Keith and Tonet have hashed for about 5 years but not been named. Welcome to PH3 and let the naming percolate.
The Hares were called on to “Sing us a Song”. Some called for the alternative, however the Circle was entertained with the Thai ladies singing and dancing to the Songkran song, Hares were again thanked for all of their efforts today. Final Down Downs were consumed and the circle was led in the Hash Hymn.
Another great day out with good people.
On On Crap Thai