2nd circle at the Asian University and with over 90 sign-ups it was a good size. The GM called hash trash offenders; YMCA had left a stapler, and PUSSY SNATCHER his make-up removing flannel. Down downs.
Next were the Hash Crashers of the day. KILT LIFTER hobbled in after doing his hammy, he’s just got back from Qatar where he’s been building soccer (football in the North I’m told) stadiums, and in his pursuit of front runner SHIT ON MY CHEST it was more than his legs could bear, no worries after paying 300 baht (yes not a typo) to the Uni security guy who happened to be passing by on his motorbike to drive him 2km back to the A-site, he made it before what otherwise would have been in darkness. The GM noted that at that generous level of payment the security guy will be setting bear traps to ensnare himself hasher’s every run. PUSSY SNATCHER had some drama when exiting the beer hunters baht bus that he used to short cut 100 metres at the start of the run, which was about 2% of the run length, that adds up Einstein. And SHIT LIPS fell over a root; I hope she was a good looking one.
SPERM POLLUTER took the circle and iced the hares - YMCA, CAROLINE, SCAR WITH 2Ts, and the GM. Comments from the walkers first, MR POTATO HEAD, a returnee from the land down under enjoyed it, Byron thought it was outstanding, and BLOW LEWINSKY thought it was a great walk. Over to the runners CRAP THAI our front runner (hey I can make this shit up as much as I like) enjoyed it, SHIT LIPS thought it was a good length and had dirty water, the same as he gets from his katoy. HERRING CHOKER thought it was good but a little short, he gets the latter comment from his missus. FLEECE LIFTER thanked SP for breaking all the checks.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD took the circle and put the hares on Ice. Addressing CAROLINE a fellow Merican, albeit from south of the Mason-Dickson, he called him The Energy of the hares, certainly not the brains added the GM. EA took on the role of Jerry Springer, asking the tough questions to find out how this band of 4 got together and decide to hare, and as best as we can tell it was planned while they were enjoying a night out in Boys Town, its not a problem guys we won’t tell anyone. Down downs. Next on the ice were STUPID KRAUT CUNT, SUPER VIRGIN and his partner in crime MAMA SANS BIG BOY. We heard how SV (Dad) took MSBB to Soi 6 to have him pass his exam, this is when he loaded him up with money, told him not to leave the soi, and would periodically fish him out from the bars and give him more money. The exam passed he was ready for the greater challenge – The Golden Mile at TQ on Beach Road, this is where they line up 6 girls with shot glasses, and MSBB had to crawl thru them and do the shots in rapid succession, problem being he’s a brute of a lad and well we all know the height of (female) Thai ladies. Never mind with ropes and poles around they got themselves high enough to let him complete the challenge in a hash record time of 18 seconds, what a champ.
The GM did the raffle and the prizes went about 50/50 between the farangs and the Thai ladies, for posterity it is noted that clan FLEECE LIFTER did not rig the draw this week and took nothing. KILT LIFTER had won the Sangsom and Soda but thought it was fine to leave the soda behind in his crippled state. Wrong. Back to the ice. LURCH was also iced for not having a hash shirt.
SCAR WITH 2Ts took the circle and iced a virgin and SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD, chatting on the perimeter I believe. He then iced all six virgins, 1 from the UK, 3 Thai, and 2 Slovakians. A German was iced for talking. A recent Scandihooligans 12 hour bar crawl brought participants out, UNSTABLE LOAD was caught sleeping towards the end so got special attention, and after that the survivors of the crawl were brought in for a down down. Wanker of the Week brought out a few candidates including BEETROOT (taking a chip packet away from the table), SUPER VIRGIN and MAMA SANS BIG BOY (“racing” at the end of their walk), but the overall winner was MSBB.
SPERM POLLUTER took the circle and told us how he saw the hares at 11pm Saturday night shit faced and he knew they wouldn't be laying paper on Sunday. Sensibly the GM was into it at 7am on Monday, but the other 3 didn't make it there until 9.30am, good mates who needs them.
Now to DIRT LOONEY-gate, with our incumbent beer truck driver overseas, DL has temporarily taken over the reins, where it gets interesting is that DL took the whole weekend at VV’s to restock the truck, free board provided by his host TWO TIME. Now I don't want to go suggesting anything untoward here but that's a long stocking mission, and without being around during her naming I’m sure there is a reason that doesn't make the mind boggle. All good VV, at least we are keeping it within the hash family.
SHIT ON MY CHEST was iced for missing 3 lots of blue sticks and for not saying On-On towards the end of the run while he pursues front running glory. It’s not a race SOMC. Down downs. MAMA SANS BIG BOY was iced and invited to bring his partner for the night in, MSBB was in SP’s bar on Saturday night and asked SP to find him a “young, skinny one”, which SP had done within 30 seconds, however the young lass who MSBB arrived with today was a different young skinny one. That’s his preference you see, the opposite physique to his, and MSBB told us it was why he also fancied SP, not sure who’ll be the meat inside the menage a trois sandwich tonight but I suspect the two blokes won’t have a preference.
The GM took the circle and called The Leavers (for Europe), 5 of them in, for a down down. Good luck and come back soon. Then the hares sang a great rendition of Swimming in the Rain led by SCAR WITH 2Ts. SPERM POLLUTER congratulated COOKIE MONSTER on 50 runs and presented her a shirt. SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD and a Thai lady had their Hashy Birthday acknowledged by the traditional song. Finally our most prolific ice-ee of the night got another chance there for interjection, well done MAMA SANS BIG BOY.
Final down downs lead by SPERM POLLUTER and the hash hymn and 30 odd people carried on to Nicky’s Bar
On-On! Fleece Lifter