HTML Text for PH3 run (#1936) of 04 April 2022
Location: Burapa Land
HARES: Unstable Load, Ninja Princess, Smokey Truckey Fcuky, Arse Van Hole, Mayo Queen.
The Flemish Run
A new ‘A’ site with the kind of hill favoured by the Hares. The first circle saw two new shoe wearers rewarded with drinks from them and we welcomed two virgins as members of our Hash.
The Hare brief informed us of a 4.5km walkers trail and about 9km runners trail, with ‘ no hills’. Hares lie! The actual trail length was about 6.5km (runners) and contained one modest hill that seemed to go on and on. The trail was very well marked and meandered through enjoyable forest with a smattering of shiggy and good shade on a hot day. Close to the end of trail was a shoe wash, which some hashers enjoyed, others not so much.
The second circle opened with The Wizard GM thanking Jung (President of Burapa Motorcycle club) for allowing us to use their land for the Hash. Jung welcomed the Hash and enjoyed a couple of drinks with us.
There was only one ‘Hash crash’ awarded and that went to Train Stopper. The Hares were put on the ice (excellent choice) for the circle to appraise the trail. The walkers group included Brotherly Love, who stated “It was up and down like my dick”, “as well as short and narrow” added The Wizard. She’s the Boss claimed the “sticks were shitty, but they matched the paper”. Pole Dancer asked why why the paper was hidden. From the runners group, Herring Choker said he prefers water at the start of a run rather than at the end, Shit Lips complained the trail was longer than advertised. However GI Joe thought it was a “Very nice trail”. The food that was promised after trail was very much appreciated and tasted great. The verdict from the circle that the food meant all sins were forgiven (for paper, rock and hills).
Emperor Airhead entertained the circle, roasting Super Virgin for creating his son Mamasans Big Boy and introducing him to the Hash and Soi 6. MSBB’s holiday has been extended and he now refers to father SV as “The Banker”. Milk Way and his friend were called onto the ice and there was some uncertainty if they were an item, however both seemed excited at the lady being named “Sixty Nine”. No such uncertainty of girlfriend status when Brotherly Love and his friend were called to the ice for her to be named “Zha Zha” (as in Zsa Zsa Gabor the actress). Emperor Airhead informed the circle he had been married years ago by Brotherly Love. The Hares were once again called to the ice and bucket to give us a Geography lesson. The circle was told Fleming (Flemish language) is largest part of Belgium with 6 million people. The Woroh (Wollonia) (French language) has 4 million people, whilst the German speaking part has 1 million people.
The Raffle was drawn by The Wizard. Lucky winners were Fleece Lifters daughter (spirits), Telly Tubby (Hair care), Lost Cause (Pasta), Mayo Queen (T-shirt and a headlight), Happy Survivor (Bum Bag and Jagermeister), Crap Thai (Teabags), Ice Queen (Spy pack).
Scar with 2 T’s put Train Stopper and MSBB on the ice to question if the younger Hashers knew the rules of the beer truck and drinking. Both survived without entering the bucket. Stupid Kraut Cnut was iced as he had the props from another Hash (Cowboy hat, gun belt, horse). One of our newer members (Byron) was seen to be not wearing a Hash shirt and was supplied one (dipped in the bucket first) by the GM, much to the amusement of the circle.
The GM announced Anniversaries and Birthdays. Burl Ives turned 73 years of age. My Girlfriend knows I’m Gay achieved 100 runs (1st run in 2007). Antique attained 200 runs (1st in 1986). Mayo Queen has Hared 20 runs (1st run 2016). Lost Cause attained 300 runs (1st run 2014). Spastic Whore King was recognised as being a great contributor to the Hash through many examples of giving his time and efforts. The most recent example was the very time consuming sorting of images of our friend the late Lord Chicken Fcuker (from a huge library) . Those photographic images were supplied to Chicken Little, daughter of LCF and she appreciated those images very much.
Wanker of the Week candidates were; Arse Van Hole (who keeps forgetting to bring the spoon), Brotherly Love, Stupid Krat Cnut, Smokey Trucky Fcuky and Unstable Load. Stupid Kraut Cnut was a clear winner with a resounding cheer from the circle which scared the horse.
The Hares were called upon to Sing Us A Song, however they sat on the ice as they listened to the GM sing his version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Final down down, Hash hymn and circle closed.
On On, Crap Thai