It was that time of the year when sand, tapioca fields, jungles and streams were replaced by tarmac, traffic, smog, and more than the usual amount of angry soi dogs, but that's only the environment, the important thing about the Betty Boop run is that everyone gets to bring their fetish for cross dressing out from the privacy of their homes and condo’s to provide a public display of their kinks. As the A-site was only about 15 minutes from the pickup location people had a lot of time to laugh and take photos before the run, the weather was dry and not too hot, so only the men’s sweat was going to cause the make-up to run. Normally I start the scribe from 2nd circle antics, but a mention has to be made of how much enjoyment we seemed to give the locals, see all these crazy farangs in dresses running through their streets, making the day for many a bored bar girl in as much as that can happen with the exchange of cash, jobs offers at the bar were received for more than one runner I’m told.
But on to the circle, the GM’s at this point. Hash Trash was minimal; Hash Crash in this urban environment had no takers. The GM had apparently announced at the prior week’s run that costumes should be left on for judging, but not bothered to reiterate this in the 1st circle, so with prep time and kit not on hand not all Kathoey’s and Tom boys were in character at this point. The 7 (yes no typo) hares were put on the ice – Duchess Tadpole, Golden Rivet, Lost Cause, Hoi Wan, Telly Tubby, Vietnamese Violator and Two Time. Run/Walk feedback was received, overall people were happy, plenty of paper and flour to mark the way, BROTHERLY LOVE thought it was an urban jungle, PUSSY SNATCHER said it was good for the first 1.5km, after that the baby he was growing kicked too much, CAROLINE wondered how it seem uphill all the way except the last 25s, that's what happens when you are rocking 38DDD’s, SEAL SUCKER thought it was too hot so he walked, he did look like a grandma so that was apt. HERRING CHOKER had a 10 baht offer for a short time while on trail, not enough for a woman of his calibre.
On to the raffle, with the Thai ladies not completely dominating the prize winners, maybe they couldn't find a discrete enough place to rig the draw.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD’s circle, he got BRUCE LEE out of the pool and onto the ice and asked him which of the 24 different genders he identified with, given he probably is yet to decide his own he said he couldn't answer the question and too much laughter suggested EA should go in the bucket. EA pulled up the GM for the way he tried to explain the different baht bus return today, such that even native English speakers had no idea what he’d said. On to the judging, the irony was not lost on the scribe that we had been advised that as this was a public place they’d be no skin on the ice today, so instead the 20 odd Kathoey’s were brought in and in efforts to impress there was gyrating, posturing, and simulated sex that may not be exactly classified as family friendly, never mind we realised Pattaya is not yet the world class resort that authorities would love us to believe in their imaginations so no harm done, after a few rounds of voting and it came down to (unsurprisingly) our favourite entertainer and sexual extrovert – SPERM POLLUTER! Enjoy your wine. The Tom boys were more conservative in their efforts to impress, being mostly strong silent type males, the crowd couldn't decide a clear winner so the bottle of Gin was shared between TWO TIME and COCKTAIL.
WILD WOLF was given the circle to sing a song. To the tune of Alouette, Gentille Alouette we found out that PUSSY SNATCHER had blowjob lips, BALL RINGER saggy tits, SPASTIC WHORE KING a furrowed brow, and SPERM POLLUTER a festering pussy. Nice lyrics WW.
GM’s circle, Wanker of the Week and MOUNT ME was our taker, he had promised to run in drag but arrived without, so later on had apparently committed a cardinal sin by putting a bikini over a St George shirt, I don't think those Illawarra Dragons would have minded but the GM wasn’t having it. SPERM POLLUTER’s circle for awards – 200 runs TELLY TUBBY, 100 runs for SMOKEY'S NANNY, and CAROLINE did a wee dance for TT. The GM’s circle, COCKTAIL and BROTHERLY LUV were put of the ice, a new bar has been added to the On-On rota, June’s Cocktails, Soi Pot hole (they also have beer), SPERM POLLUTER suggested free BlowJobs, some other nameless person suggested only for the GM, its just a shot so no need to hide behind anonymity. COCKTAIL had come as Galvis (Gay Elvis), so the first song played on the inaugural official On-On has to be an Elvis one, FLEECE LIFTER improvised to the tune of Blue Suede Shoes.
SPERM POLLUTER’s circle. STILL HAVE NO NAME and his wife (LADY DRINK), and SMOKEY'S NANNY were iced, BLOW LEWINSKY was iced for not taking up SP’s offer of 500 baht for a BJ, but SMOKEY'S NANNY did say how she like SP’s pussy. The banana family was iced for their good dress effort.
The hares were called to sing a song, but had enlisted WILD WOLF to do the honours, to the tune of the Dire Straits song we had a version of “Hashing by the Pool” with good participation. Final down downs, the Hash Hymn, and it was time for the 20 metre walk to the On On for the night, with many people ending up willingly or not in the pool. Another great day hashing
On-On! Fleece Lifter