What a lovely A-Site, far from the city, surrounded by coconut trees and other mature trees and a Buddhist temple and shrine at Pallet Lane, Monks Retreat. Hashers were reminded not to use the grounds around the temple as a toilet.
There were two Virgins in the first circle, Barbara from Monaco and Patrick from Belgium, as well as four new shoes. One hasher had been in the week before with new shoes so her boyfriend must have lots of money or she likes the free can of beer.
Hares, Pussy Snatcher, Dirt Looney and newcomer Where’s My Miner, were called into the circle to explain the run. Three trails today, 3.3km for Wimps, 6.9 Km for more serious walkers and 8.9km for the runners, just don’t forget to notice the split.
Sir Really Sadistic Bastard enticed the Beer Hunters again with his little ditty;
If having a beer you’re keen,
Follow me and my buddy Gangreen.
How does he think up these rhymes every week? It worked though as there were eleven keen Beer Hunters this week. Sir Really Sadistic Bastard was seen later breaking into an uncharacteristic sprint down the road to rescue a puppy in the middle of the road but he put it on the wrong side of the road away from the rest of the litter.
The short trail walkers returned quickly but the longer trail walkers came in at various intervals and the runners were well spread out with the last three coming in just before the second circle at 6.30pm.
Hash Crashes today were Wild Wolf, Fuck Off, and Hot Hope and then the GM admitted to a fall but there were no trophies left for him. Three items left behind by one hasher, a towel, a singlet and a folding chair, identified again by the name of the hotel on the towel. Not present but we know who you are.
The hares were iced and thanked for stepping in at short notice. The runners thought it was a great trail with plenty of sticks and paper. Wild Wolf even gave it a 9/10. A drink stop would have made it a 10. Virgin Barbara loved the Full Moon but I think she was talking about what she was drinking.
Lots of happy winners of the raffle but not the usual winners this week.
Emperor Air Head took the circle and iced the hares and thanked them for a great job, Dirt Looney for being a famous hasher and Pussy Snatcher for hashing all over the world and Where’s My Miner for hashing in Cambodia. The Belgians were put on the ice and much to everyone’s delight and amusement, Unstable Load revealed two eyes tattooed on his cheeks, one red one and one green one and one brown one in the middle. Knickerless and NoKunt Troll were iced as returners. Knickerless escaped for a night without Phantom because NKT was looking after her but judging from her appearance at the end of the evening they both need chaperones.
Mountain Flower and her bitch, Gangreen, were next on the ice as well as Sauce for the Goose and her bitch SRSB. Airhead thinks the Bitch Club should be extended so asked Pink Head to choose a bitch and suggested Necrophilia Night Rider but Pink Head wasn’t sure about the whole thing.
The GMs circle again and the Virgins were called in. Barbara was willing and answered lots of questions about herself but the other Virgin had gone AWOL. Perhaps he was resting after the long run.
Wizards Wanker of the Week time and the contenders were Lady Squeeze my Tube for beer wastage, Mount Me for being hit by a security boom gate, She’s the Boss for trying three times for an appointment for his drivers licence and No- Kunt Troll as proxy for Deep Shit who refused to come into the circle. Surprisingly the winner was NKT. Think she was happy with that.
Pussy Snatchers circle next and he iced the GM, Crap Thai, She’s the Boss and Dirt Looney for being great hares. The GM and Dirt Looney laid NOSH runs during Covid. Dirt Looney put the sticks for this run out ahead of time and he always makes sure the sticks are painted on both sides. For his great contribution as a hare he was awarded Hare Extraordinaire and was given a rabbit hat to wear which matches his “ fan Kratay” (ฟันกระต่าย). He’s now a krataay narak.
Fleece Lifter took the circle and iced Where’s my Miner who went to Beach Rd to pick up girls. From his name you would expect him to get a sixteen year old but by his own admission he ended up with a 65 year old! He should be renamed Where’s my Senior.
The Hares sang their song about in heaven there’s no beer or wine or sex but it was so bad people started leaving.
Sperm Polluter quickly called many hashers in for the Final Down Down followed by the Hash Hymn.
Thank you hares and everyone else who helps to clean up after the hash.
Nicky’s Bar provided some fine food afterwards at the On On bar.
On On Sauce for the Goose