Pattaya PH3 Christmas run report #1974
There was a choice of 2.5km and 4 km walks and a run of around 7km in dry and fairly cool conditions. The A site was well situated away from traffic and noise of any kind. I did the bubble walk (so named because we walked around the bubble end and returned along the same trail) of 2.5 km with ‘Turn Me Over’ and found it to be well marked and fairly flat . There were a few places where the ground roots (shiggy?) were a bit of a hazard but we took it slow.
The first circle was led by GM, The Wizard who was trying to hurry things along due to some late baht busses and the number of attendees (around 130). There were 5 Virgin hashers including 2 sweet young girls named Colour and Scarlett (7yrs and 10 yrs). There was NO new shoes at all (so no one had new shoes for Christmas then ?? haha)
The FRBs returned in good time with Seal Sucker and GI Joe coming in together and opening the beers for some Christmas drinks . They said the only hazard was Paprika Smiley walking backwards up the runners trail!
At 6.28pm GM, The Wizard introduced SANTA into the circle (I'm not sure where he parked his sleigh! ) Santa was a larger than life character who had a rather familiar voice. He handed out many presents to all the lady and children hashers in a joyful manner.
GM, The Wizard then continued with Hash Trash which was a stapler left on trail - promptly denied by the hares and a bunch of keys (one of which was for a Yamaha bike ) which was not claimed.
Hash Crash came next with 5 male crashers. Jackal drank from a sleeved arm due to too many crashes lately. GM proceeded with all the hares on the ICE for being KIND in providing food, snacks, decorations and presents, for the 6 Coupons scattered along the trails. Well done to all the Hares.
The raffle commenced at 6.45pm with Christoph, Lost Cause, Goosey Goosey Gobbler, Banana Rider, Jennifer, Beetroot Head, Velcro Dick, Softwood, Cookie Monster and Constant Disappointment (being the joyful winners) placed promptly on the ice along with Cocktail who made unwarranted friendly comments about a bum-bag!
The circle continued with Emperor Airhead returning all the hares to the ice again asking their nationalities -which proved to be very diverse. This was followed by the 2022 award to Happy Survivor and She’s the Boss for contributing so much time and resources to the hash over the past year. This was preceded by mention of the TQ Party on Christmas Day attended by 9 hashers including Mountain Flower who had to fend off a local lesbian in the fake snow!
At 7pm we were entertained by Tampax on his guitar and other musicians sporting tambourines and a triangle (played by Duchess Tadpole) joyfully dancing around the circle led by special choreographer - Lost Cause - who had a talent for leading the dancers which much Christmas cheer (otherwise known as ‘Glühwein’). Scar with Two T's -who kindly provided the said Glühwein and seemed to have drank a fair bit of it himself! - continued after this jolly ‘frivolity’ by naming a Virgin hasher (Chelsea) Norwegian Mosquito . She then put her father on ice (Professor Pinky) for being her Dad. At this stage Stupid Kraut Cunt was becoming too obnoxious and was duly iced for being himself. There were comments about Gary Glitter and Herring Choker was iced and denied all knowledge of the said pervert. The unruly hashers (too much talking) Wee Moaning Weasel and Sir Really Sadistic Bastard were suitably iced and retorted that Scar should stop talking if he didn’t like talking in the circle. This received much laughter!
The Wizard returns peace and harmony to the Christmas circle by awarding Cookie Monster a T-shirt for 5 hared runs and Sexy Mountain for 50 runs. Fleece Lifter was also due a 5 hared run T-shirt but unfortunately was wrong sized again and had Herring Lifter printed on it - wrongly. The circle erupted at this humorous mistake.
OnOn to Crap Thai being iced and awarded Wanker of the Year for stupidly taking a Honda car- that had not been serviced or checked over - to Chang Mai. The car duly broke down and will cost more to repair now than its overall worth!
GM invites 3 Belgians to the ice with historical information on their cockroach association and then duly named Christoph as Cockroach Number 3.
Finally (at 7.32) - the Down Down led by propo singing a hash song, followed by the hash Anthem by Hares and other invited hashers.
Thanks to all that made great efforts on this memorable Christmas hash including GMs, She's the Boss for much of the cooking and Scar with 2 T's for the greatly fortified headache - sorry I mean ‘Glühwein’ (and Blow Lewinsky for lending me a pen !)
VV you’re a hero for keeping beer stocks up and cold every time!
With Christmas Cheer and wishing all a forthcoming Happy New Year Samba La Bamba