Total Hashers This Week - 116

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Correcting Run Records Policy

To encourage hashers, and hash virgins, to take responsibility for ensuring they have received proper run credit, the deadline for reporting missed runs will be Thursday evening following a run. As run stats are posted to the website by noon of the Tuesday following the run, hashers will have 2 1/2 days to review the run stats to confirm they've received credit for the run just held.

The reason for the Thursday deadline is we close out the run accounts and run records for a run on Friday mornings. Corrections entered before Friday help ensure we have an accurate accounting of the run.

It is hoped with this policy in place the number of hashers that pay the signup fee and walk away before having their name marked off on the signup list will be reduced. This will also eliminate the cases where a hasher comes to us weeks, months, or even years later asking to correct a missed run in the records.

Missed runs can be reported via email to the Webmaster.

Click On Name To View Hasher's Run History History

Awards This Run

Lollipop Boy
50 Runs

Papa Dick
50 Runs

Did anyone read that great write up last week from Seal Sucker? Who knew that a Kiwi could string so many words together and produce such an epistle!

This week’s run was the Annual General Piss Up with two very experienced hares -ie The Wizard and Sperm Polluter. It was almost a live hared run as the trail had only been set that day and some of it recced at the same time. Fortunately, it all came together by 4pm.

The trail had a couple of deep gorges to scramble/slide down and one of them was the downfall of Velcro Dick who head-butted a tree for good measure as well. Luckily, Antique was there to escort him back to the bucket where he sat nursing his head for the rest of the evening. We all wish the tree a quick recovery.

The GM, by now well oiled with large cans of Leo (self-provided) opened the 2nd circle with Hash Trash which was a whole backpack that had been left behind last week. How can someone leave the run and not realise they had left everything behind? Goosey Goosey Gobbler was the miscreant.

Hash Crash brought in Paprika Smiley and Brotherly Luv as a stand in for the injured Velcro Dick. Whore in the Window and Samba La Bamba were the other crashers.

Scar with 2 T’s then took over and promptly iced both hares. Comments on the trail ranged from “dangerous” to “too easy”. No More Cum in his best arse-licking mode described it as “a wonderful trail, GM”. The food, provided by VV, was universally praised.

Stupid Kraut Kunt was next up but he was very unsteady on his legs due to drinking copious amounts of Ferret Piss (sorry, Punch). After his time on the ice he retreated to the edge of the circle where he was seen hugging a tree for support and later he retired to the Baht Bus to an early bed.

The GM then introduced the 2023 committee both Non Executive and Executive and thanked them for their work in keeping the hash going like a well-oiled machine (some more well-oiled than others – see paragraph above). The full list of your wonderful committee is on the website.

The raffle came next. One of the virgins won twice, brought her bag into the circle so was sat on the ice.

Emperor Airhead put the hares on the ice calling them “scum” which seemed a little harsh. Mind you, he had managed to ride past the turn off to the bucket so maybe he had a grievance to work off. He then likened the hares to car park attendants now that there were 7 or even 8 Baht Buses each week along with 20+ cars to find parking for every Monday.

Scar had a crack at those not wearing hash T shirts so No More Cum and Belly Dancer got iced.

Sir Wanda was given the circle. He wanted to ice Stupid Kraut Kunt but as he was comatose the Ferret Master, Little Tommy Two Lips was called in as a look alike for a good story about SKK dropping his phone into the toilet.

No More Cum told us what a great GM we had and led us in a  chorus of “For he’s a jolly good fellow” – what an arse-licker.

Wanker of the Week stayed with Two Time due to lack of time. Limp Dick and Lollipop Boy were recognised for 50 runs and Hamburg Whore House officially became a member after achieving 25 runs.

The hares then sang a song with no known tune and words I think they made up themselves. It was so bad it could probably win the Eurovision Song Contest.

And so it was.

On On Shit Lips

Hares' Song

(Sung to the tune of R.E.M.'s Losing My Religion)
 

Oh hash is deadly,

Deadly for you, but you are not me,

The lengths that I will run to, The distance of the checks,

Oh no I’ve run too far, I fucked it up.

That’s me in the circle, that’s me in the bucket,

Freezing my old arse off, trying to keep my bollox dry,

But I don’t know if I can do it, oh no I’m in too deep, I fucked it up.

I thought that I saw you drop trash, I thought that I saw you fall, I think I thought I saw you crash.

On every check, on every single trail,

I choose the wrong direction, trying to short cut on you,

Like a sad, lost and blinded fool

Oh no my short cut’s shit, I fucked it up.

Consider this, consider this, the trail of the century, consider this, the hill, that brought you to your knees,

Well, what if all this climbing up, should finish you off

Well now you’ve hashed too much.

I think that I heard you wheezing, I think that I heard you gasp, I think I thought I saw you die

But that was just a dream, that was just a dream.

That’s me in the circle, that’s me in the bucket,

Freezing my old arse off, trying to keep my bollox dry,

But I don’t think that I can do it, I’m in too deep, I’ve fucked it up

I thought that I saw you drop trash, I thought that I saw you fall, I think I thought I saw you crash,

But that was just a dream, hash, trash, hash, crash

That was just a dream, just a dream, dream, dream.