It's always good to be back with the PH3, and to be asked to scribe.
I could describe the day’s events in a few words, great A site, great run and great company, but why should I let the truth F up a good story?
The GM called the circle and welcomed all hashers then asked if there were any virgins. The virgins were welcomed to the hash and informed that if they hashed anywhere in the World, there Mother Hash would always be PH3, so welcome guys and I hope you all had a great day and will return.
The hares then told us about the trail and you always know you are going to get a great run / walk when VV is involved. We were told there was a split but as I heard later a lot of the walkers must have missed it so ended up on the run.
REALLY SADISTIC BARSTARD took the beer hunters off on a baht bus, and VV pointed us to the start of the run.
As I'm walking along with another hasher who also uses a walking stick (I know we’ve hashed together on many occasions but your name has slipped from my memory) VV walks up to us and shows us a shortcut, which I'm glad he did because we had 5 hash crashes at that spot. I just wandered along a nice flat track watching the pack up there struggling through the bush.
It didn't take long for the FRBs to catch me up though and overtake me. We then followed a well laid trail with a fair bit of shade. When we came out into the pineapples, I could see the pack way out in front of me but they started to turn right. That's when I decided to run with my head and not my feet and walked along another track that went in the same direction. Luckily for me I had chosen correctly for a change as I ended up on my second shortcut of the day. I saw the trail go back into the bush and thought maybe this is a good turn around point for me and again it proved to be the correct choice. As I'm coming back along the track, the Harriets that go bush shopping appeared and went down another track. I followed them, great choice because they soon found a trail home. I must mention here that the Harriets lead by TADPOLE, carry a large bag with them and pick up plastic. Hopefully none of the plastic had been dropped by any of the hashers.
Back early at the A site it seemed a long wait for the front runners to return. When the first runner did get in, I was surprised to see that a Harriet beat HERRING CHOKER in. But knowing HC he probably let her run-in front so he could check out her arse. It took 1 hour and 15 mins for the front runners and then at least that again for the slow ones to get in. I heard some of the walkers missed the split and ended up on the run. Sorry to hear that, you should have stayed on my trail.
Before the circle started some of us had VVs sausages or hamburgers. Some went off to partake in the POT CIRCLE, and I must say some of the second-hand smoke was enjoyable. And the Harriets enjoyed a meal from all the BUSH TUCKER they collected.
Circle is called and our GM calls out the hares then ask for comments from the pack. Comments ranged from good to great, to flat, to hilly and too long. Which obviously meant it was a great run, well done VV, ARSE VAN HOLE and off course the one who done most of the work, TWO TIME. When you have a great experienced pack of hares with VV having hares over 200 runs, you know it's going to be good.
Then we have 5 Hash crash on the ICE: UNSTABLE LOAD, HOT HOPE, KNOB MARLEY, FLEECE LIFTER and SPERM BANK, all given a range of crash hats or toilet seats to wear for the rest of the evening.
Raffles are drawn with 9 winners and me making another donation to the club. BEETROOT HEAD is iced for looking after the raffles whilst FLEECE LIFTER was back in NZ looking for his first girlfriend, who by now would have sheard or is it shared by others? Her name was BAA BA RA, an old Kiwi joke sorry.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD, has the circle next and calls the hares back in for more comments and thanks. HOT WHEELS is mention and thanked for driving down from Udon Tani. Travelers WHO CUT THE CHEESE, from PNG, arse plas bilong yu staip were? And NIGHT RIDER who had been back in the US of A. Bernard who had been a French aircraft fitter was named, ANY COCK ‘LL DO, and I'm told it's got nothing to do with his frequent trips to BOYS TOWN..
NO MORE CUM then has the circle and calls out the returners KAPTAIN KORRUPTION, KNOB MARLEY, ARSEHOLLIO, and TV.
NCM then calls out our other RA SCAR WITH 2 T's and starts of by telling us how they meet, BUT THEN, how the friendship grew when they were in Amsterdam together. The story goes on about them drinking all day, then booking a couple of ladies for some entertainment together. Then NMC starts to elaborate and talks about cocks falling out and him helping to slip them back in, NOW this is where I could make up a GREAT STORY, but I won't. I will let you picture the scene and have night mares about who things where slipping out from where???
SPERM POLLUTER does the awards, NO MORE CUM 300 runs shirt, CHIP CHIP 10 hares shirt, and TWO TIME achieved 60 hares.
SCAR has the circle and calls in ARSEHOLLIO for being on the LOVE PAGE on FACEBOOK, where he is looking for a nice lady. He mentioned that a lady meet him at the airport with a rose,???? But when asked where she was his reply was she will come down shortly. The virgins are called into the circle and asked if they would like to take a seat, one did and JIM FROM BOSTON didn't. Maybe next time eh Jim??? STUPID KRAUT KUNT is iced for drinking WATER, only one reason for that, but I won't go there either
The GM has HASH HERO on the ICE for saying the Sundays hash was better, but she denied this so HERRING CHOKER is sat beside for telling stories out of school.
ARSE VAN HOLE and VV both take a seat on the ICE while the birthday cakes are brought out. AVH had made comments that if hashers turned up to his bar on Friday night to help him celebrate his birthday, he would buy them a beer. I don't think he thought 50 hashers would turn up though. Well done AVH
The hares are asked for a song and WILD WOLF sings about The Lobster Man.
The GM calls out Michael who has done 9 hash runs with 9 different clubs, and was surprised to hear that Michael got named DONT CUM BACK on the Sundays run. But DCB did return to the PH3 to do his first second run with any club. Must mean the PH3 are doing something right.
The night is coming to a close and visitors and regular Monday hashers are called for the FINAL DOWN DOWNS, and to lead the rest of us in the Hash Hymn
Although we had finished at the A site another round of joviality is enjoyed by many at the ON ON bar where the beer was cold, on on food was served and many hashers had a great time singing and dancing.
I started to walk back to my hotel but PAPRIKA SMILEY dragged me into another bar. Thanks mate.
A great day was enjoyed by many hashes, so once again many thanks to the hares and the PH3 committee for making it possible.
On On B.B.