The Songkran Run is traditionally laid by the ladies of PH3 although they took the precaution of dobbing in Golden Rivet to carry the can in case anything went wrong.
All the ladies wore matching Songkran flowery outfits except Golden Rivet and Cocktail. The latter wore an apron with a nude body on it and a huge pair of soft boobs. Not sure how that linked with the New Year but never mind.
Before the off we were warned that 90% of the Walker’s and 70% of the Runner’s Trail were in open territory without shade and this unfortunately was the case. We were warned of dogs, ants, snakes and rubbish and this also turned out to be true.
As usual the GM opened the Circle with the various items of lost property. Sunglasses found on trail were claimed by Sir Arse a Holic, A small folding stool belonged to Lucky Stroke while a very much nicer folding chair went unclaimed (although She’s the Boss reckoned 2 minutes on the ice was worth the price).
Hash Crash had YMCA on the ice as usual. Jackal claimed to have got all the way around the run without crashing – maybe his new year’s resolution. Ball Ringer was called in by the GM and narrowly avoided the bucket.
All the hares were called in. Comments on the run included – “too much sun”, “a long green snake”, “rubbish”, “missing paper” and “barbed wire”. The runners/walkers split was apparently mismarked but luckily Cocktail was there to send us the right way. On the up side the location was a new A site and in the shade and no one got lost so the run was generally given a thumbs up.
The Waffle followed with Lost Cause getting the pick of the table. Last item to be claimed was some shaving gel which should have gone to Hairy Crack but didn’t.
Emperor Airhead got the hares back on the ice saying he “loved free food”. We learned that Lost Cause was the chief hare, that Cookie Monster was in charge of peeling the bananas (really) and that Telly Tubby had made the food the day before – “so we got the left overs?” asked EA.
Wild Wolf is going to walk the 1000km from Pattaya to Phuket and hopes to raise THB1m for charity. He starts this Thursday at 8am from Witherspoons in Pattaya. The bar is offering a special breakfast for 99 baht including a beer. All are welcome to see him off and walk with him as far as the Dolphin Roundabout.
Kaptain Korruption was next on the ice. He had complained that his girlfriend was costing too much so he went for a drink in TQ where a) he found he had no money and had to get credit from Airhead and b) he found out how expensive girls really are. As a result he made up with the original girlfriend who welcomed him back (“so long as his money lasted”)
Two ex members Buggered in the woods and Pot my brown pipe were welcomed back. They now run in Spain
Finally the whole of Fleece Lifter’s Dragon family were sat on the ice for a renaming of Blaze to Demon Dragon.
The GM took back the circle and called in Blow Lewinsky for his 5 hared runs shirt (not much haring apparently) and Wild Wolf got a mention for his 50 runs which had taken him 35 years to achieve.
Scar with 2 T’s got Kaptain Korruption and Beetroot Head for not listening to VV and using the drinking water for showering.
There was then a ward full of “sickies”:
Night Rider for puking on the run
Mama San’s Fat Boy for puking during a pub crawl
The GM and Crap Thai for calling in sick to avoid said pub crawl
Caroline for saying he would attend the pub crawl until his wife found out and banned him
Following the sickies were the sleepers – Stupid Kraut Kunt who got so pissed he fell asleep on the beach and Serial Killer (aka Wasted White Sperm) who also fell asleep on the same evening but in a bar.
The GM iced Mama San’s Big Boy and Milky Way who were given a chorus of FOYC as they were both returning to Norway later that night. SKK was heard putting a bid in for Mama San’s girl friend but luckily the GM didn’t hear that.
Birthday boys were called in and, in the absence of any cake, were doused with ice cold “holy water”.
Sex Pistol managed to make the hash only once during his 3 month stay in Pattaya – he must have had other things to do each Monday night
Lastly Cocktail was invited in and asked to take off her false boobs and apron. Unfortunately that was all that came off. Her sin was a lack of hash gear.
For the hash song the ladies did a dance around the circle anointing all with scented water which was very pleasant.
And then it was the final Down Down, the Hash Anthem and a warning from the GM not to squirt water inside Hustler’s.
On On Shit Lips