Hash Trash
Halloween run 30th October 2023
Hares: VV, Two Time, Sperm Polluter
Water, water everywhere as the Ancient Mariner had it. And my goodness what a lot of rain there was. I passed stranded cars on the 36 with water up to their doors and the side road leading to the run was just like a river.
Using his executive powers, the GM cancelled the first circle, postponed the sign ups and set the pack off early. The beer hunters – wow, what a lot of them – were on their way even before the clock struck four.
It was still raining but only gently as we set off on a traditional VV trail. The hares had done a good job and markings were still very much in evidence – at least on the walkers trail. General comments in the circle were positive so well done hares.
First runner home was the baht bus driver Sip Baht with Shy Tiger coming third and beating Herring Choker by a long way. One of the last home was Dirt Looney who still looked hungover. Seal Sucker was afraid his make up might run in the rain so he stayed at home.
Eating Monster had brought three or was it four pretty girls from the Buffalo Bar. Not sure if it was to scare them off men or to show them the worst of men so that the visitors to her bar would look quite civilized and gentlemanly in comparison.
The circle was opened by the GM in what was now a steady downpour and Emperor Airhead was invited to judge the best Halloween costume. Ladies first and there were three groups including one suspiciously tall girl who turned out to be Ging Gang Goolies. That got his group disqualified which left Eating Monster and her bar girls or the Evil Witches (Happy Survivor, Leg Over and Two Time). The circle voted in favour of the Evil Witches and they won a bottle of vodka to share between them.
Airhead then brought in the male contenders – Fleece Lifter, Spastic Whore King, Ging Gang Goolies and VV. Eventually the prize was shared between VV and SWK.
It was naming time now and Jean Pierre and his wife Dow were iced. Dow got named Pink Moon and Jean Pierre got Bikini Bandit as his name
Taking back the circle the GM asked for a minute’s silence to remember Liberace who sadly died recently after a long illness.
Onto lighter things and the hares were iced along with Arse Van Hole (for talking).
Then the Waffle was drawn although it is never quite the same without Lost Cause’s orgasmic calling and gasping as each number is announced.
Beetroot Head was iced as a returnee. When asked how long he was staying this time he said “Forever” but when he was asked if he had lots of money he had to admit that he didn’t so “forever” might mean until next May when he has to go back to work to top up his bank balance.
Emperor Airhead then iced the hares while he told of the hail he had had to go through on his motorbike and a story about Oddjob who went to the A site to set a run only to find a dead body there. Fortunately the police removed it before the hash arrived.
The Wizard put Womb Broom on the ice for his 72nd birthday (dobbed in by Velcro Dick).
Fleece Lifter sorted out the Hash Crashes which included G I Joe (what a surprise), Fuck Off and Eating Monster who said that her pants had fallen down. Hope she wears the same pair again next week!
Recognitions – Squeeze My Tubes – 700 runs and Shithead – 50 runs
As it was a Halloween run the GM organized some “apple bobbing” using ping pong balls in some ice cold bucket water. Each ball was numbered and won a different prize.
For the record the results were as follows:
Ball 8 – Diaper Sniper – a trip to the bucket
Ball 2 – Don’t call me Dick – a straight arm DD
Ball 7 – Squeals Like a Pig – next run is free
Ball 3 – Brotherly Love – THB250 of his next T shirt
Ball 5 – Pussy Snatcher – 2 free runs
Ball 4 – GI Joe – next T shirt at TB150
Ball 6 – The Referee – time on the ice
Ball 1 – Visitor in a Toga – a straight arm DD
Wanker of the Week went to Ging Gang Goolies
Steptoe asked the circle why witches always wore crotchless panties – it gives them a better grip on their broomsticks.
The Hares song was a variation on “What shall we do with a drunken hasher?” with wordings suitable for Halloween and then it was time for the final down down and the hash anthem (still in the rain) before we all squelched off back into town for more beers and some dry clothes.
On On Shit Lips