Before we talk about run #2019, lets clear up a matter from last week’s run – let it be known that anyone who is interested in the (former) virgins that EATING MONSTER brought to last week’s run, don’t go looking for them in the Buffalo Bar, you will have better luck finding them at the Four K Ya bar in Soi Whitehouse, where I’m sure they’ll be happy to have a drink bought for them and discuss the finer points of Hashing and potential accompaniment to a run or wherever.
Yet again on the way to the A-site the heavens opened, but thankfully it held off for the rest of the day from the 1st Circle onwards, thank you Buddha. Due to the late appointment of the scribe the recollection is that for Hash Trash the only recipient was GING GANG GOOLIES, various items including a smart watch, it’s probably a blood sugar monitor for when free food is presented in any setting. Hash Crash, five hashers including DRINKS LIKE A GIRL and HOME BREW. The GM then iced our hares – HERRING CHOCKER and SHY TIGER. As we’ve been told by her in the past, ST likes a bit of up and down, and this trail she set didn’t disappoint in that regard. Overall the feedback was that it was a good run, perhaps a tad long for some given the current early sunsets, well done ST and we hope that HC helped in some form other than financial.
Raffle and the main point of note was that Mick from Yorkshire made a spectacular backwards roll when iced for trying to claim a prize when he didn’t have a winning ticket – Som Nam Na. Not content with one transgression he tried claiming two more times. I can see he is going to become very familiar with the bucket (which did happen later).
EMPEROR AIRHEAD's circle, hares on the ice. We found out that HERRING CHOCKER and SHY TIGER are the consummate couple, they do everything together, even baking the brownies that were provided as snacks, how sweet. HC admitted to EA about stealing property of the Pattaya Jungle Hash in the form of an HHH sign, we had wondered how long for that bait to be too great a temptation, HC you are on ice next Jungle.
Next on ice were STUPID KRAUT CUNT, SERIAL KILLER and Annie from TQ (SK’s Teerak for the night). We heard how Annie can sit on the ice better than EA (at least that was the drunken claim) but notably it wasn’t skin so that claim is busted. SK apparently got his name from bar fining TQ girls who were never heard from again, but these days he’s calmed down although he recognised the distinctive form of a Dirt Road shirt in TQ so waved out to that person, eventually realising he was waving at himself in the mirror. Even Jeffery Dahmer was smarter than that.
NIGHT RIDER was iced, we heard how he took seven attempts to get his Thai driver’s license as he was too cheap to pay an agency and did it himself. His recent trip to the US had a failed attempt to get the US D/L renewed, but sadly his car is now broken so he has a license but no transport. Probably safer for everyone.
Future naming candidates Eric from Holland (a Hotelier) and Tony from Sweden (a vegetable) were introduced for the group to think about names. Tony’s girlfriend was brought onto the ice, she recently had a birthday and wanted to skydive. Tony did everything in his power to try and be excluded from this activity, he drank Sangsom, smoked weed, and pointed out that his weight of 105kg was over the 95kg limit. Did any of that matter? No way, this is Thailand and we want your money, the staff just ignored his cries and moans and pushed him on his way.
SPERM POLLUTER took the ice for recognitions – SHY TIGER 5 Hared, PANZER 50 Runs, MINNIE MOUSE 50 Runs, COOKIE MONSTER 100 Runs shirt, FLEECE LIFTER 100 Runs shirt and the living legend himself GI JOE 900 Runs shirt!
Our part time RA back from Europe, NO MORE CUM took the circle. BLACK JUSTICE was iced for loafing on the Baht Bus, PANZER for being tired. Then NA HEE MAN joined the half breed TWINKLE DICK for some cooling therapy. STUPID KRAUT CUNT and his two virgin Berlin friends were NMC’s final charges, they hail from the same city as NMC, but NMC had escaped during the war. It’s clear that you can’t change genetics though, NMC rocks up in Nazi style “A Clockwork Orange” kit every week.
GM’s circle and Wanker of the Week candidates were GING GANG GOOLIES as the incumbent, BROTHERLY LUV (road rage instigator on Soi Buakhao), FLEECE LIFTER for cancelling Saturday’s Jungle run just a couple of hours prior (just getting his name in the history books) but the clear winner given a mouth that wouldn’t shut up all night was Mick from Yorkshire.
The scribe took the circle and iced the GM, SPERM POLLUTER, and NO MORE CUM. Power trip. Followed by ANTIQUE as a returner, and Dave from Hustler’s, who has been on the On-On bar rotation for ages but was a virgin hasher tonight, great you could come along.
SPERM POLLUTER did the final down-down’s, then BALLRINGER led the hash hymn and off we went, a number of people going to I-Rovers for buckets of beer and more food. Another great day.
On-on! Fleece Lifter