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PH3 Run 2082

Monday, 20 Jan 2025

Birthday Run


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B'day Run Food Provided By The Hares 😋
Hares: Black Panther, Boring Wanker, Dragon, Fleece Lifter
Scribe: General Kidney Wiper
Hash Flash: Spastic Whore King (Run), YMCA (Circle)
Runners: 112

Total Hashers This Week - 112

Click On Name To View Hasher's Run History
Hashers Present Last Week - 75
A Dingo Ate My Baby (13), Arse Van Hole (335), B.B. (159), Ball Ringer (917), Beetroot Head (210), Bell End (652), Bell Star (115), Big Gulp (16), Black Panther (35), Boring Wanker (42), Bubbles (44), Cannon Ball (143), Car Licker (81), Chip Chip (174), Diaper Sniper (28), Dirt Looney (433), Dragon (92), Eating Monster (62), Fattus Maximus (49), Fleece Lifter (137), Flying Dick Truck Fucker (30), G.I. Joe (967), Gangreen (635), General Kidney Wiper (890), Golden Rivet (386), Happy Survivor (284), Herring Choker (138), Hopeless Boring Cunt (9), Hot Hope (103), Irregular Period (171), Kee Mah (292), Kilt Lifter (35), Lady Squeeze My Tube (761), Leg It Lamb (6), Leg Over (110), Lost Cause (418), Many Drinks (60), Mayo Queen (345), Minnie Mouse (119), Miss Use Me (362), Mount Me (125), Mr. Bean (66), Necrophilia Night Rider (414), Odd Job (475), Panzer (87), Paprika Smiley (278), Parisian Titi (174), Parou Parou (92), Ping Pong (176), Pol Dancer (117), Pole Fucker (145), Scar W/2Ts (409), Seal Sucker (441), Sexy Butterfly (127), She's The Boss (289), Shit Lips (107), Shy Tiger (113), Singing Granny (74), Sir Arse-A-Holic (999), Sir Really Sadistic Bastard (1016), Sir Velcro Dick (575), Sober As A Judge (14), Something Kinder (150), Something Stupid (181), Spastic Whore King (201), Sperm Polluter (347), Tampax (578), Telly Tubby (291), The Wizard (386), Tom Boy (299), Two Time (514), V.V. (1138), Whore In The Window (271), Window Wanker (67), YMCA (165)
Returners - 22
Anal Cheese (146), Atomic Muff Diver (64), Benjamin Mohr (4), Bikini Bandit (37), Blade Wanker (7), Casper (245), Drag Queen (73), Fuzzy Lure (228), Goosey Goosey Gobbler (102), Hoi Wan (251), Homer Pimpson (16), Laughing Bird (29), Little Sparrow (19), No Banana (57), Papa Dick (133), Pig Pusher Swine Stabber (318), Sausage Head (96), Slippery Frog Tongue (8), Smokey Trucky Fucky (202), Smokey's Nanny (137), Splinter Dick (67), Stupid Kraut Cunt (361)
Visitors - 11
Glass Cow (1), Hacky Sack (1), Juan Barajas (1), Lady Rock (5), Lil Sack (1), Meat Wagon (9), Oh No (21), Oily Bob (5), Robin My Soap (1), Sack-A-Weiya (1), Sad Sack (1)
Virgins - 4
Glyn Treasure (1), Kaleigh Spencer (1), Philip Mccardle (1), Rossukhon Kanwannee (1)
Leavers - 0

Correcting Run Records Policy

To encourage hashers, and hash virgins, to take responsibility for ensuring they have received proper run credit, the deadline for reporting missed runs will be Thursday evening following a run. As run stats are posted to the website by noon of the Tuesday following the run, hashers will have 2 1/2 days to review the run stats to confirm they've received credit for the run just held.

The reason for the Thursday deadline is we close out the run accounts and run records for a run on Friday mornings. Corrections entered before Friday help ensure we have an accurate accounting of the run.

It is hoped with this policy in place the number of hashers that pay the signup fee and walk away before having their name marked off on the signup list will be reduced. This will also eliminate the cases where a hasher comes to us weeks, months, or even years later asking to correct a missed run in the records.

Missed runs can be reported via email to the Webmaster.

Click On Name To View Hasher's Run History History

Anniversaries - 1
She's The Boss Received His Shirt In Recognition Of 30 Hared Runs With The PH3
Hash Namings - 2
Rob Taylor Was Given The Hash Name Blade Wanker
Darren Leggatt Was Given The Hash Name Leg It Lamb
Birthdays - 3
The PH3 Wishes The Following A Happy B'day
No Hope (24 Jan)
Gas Man (21 Jan)
Fleece Lifter (25 Jan)

Click On Name To View Hasher's Circle Notes History

Saints and Sinners - 19
Dirt LooneyHash Sinner: Stayed out drinking all night and feeling too hungover to write up the circle notes. They are coming soon....
The HaresHares Song: Sung By The Hares: Boring Wanker and Fleece Lifter
Kaleigh SpencerHash Trash: Dropped her new PH3 beer cooler on trail
Kaleigh SpencerHash Crash: Stay in the circle because you also took a tumble on trail
Drag QueenHash Crash: He looked around to see if he was alone and stumbled in the sand. Guess you weren't alone!
G.I. JoeHash Crash: He was 'running on the beach' and tripped on a rock. Atr least it was a soft landing
Eating MonsterHash Crash: Sunk into the narrow section of swamp
Car LickerHash Crash: Fell after taking a shortvut and didn't own up. So, it was off to the bucket for a cooling down period
Singing GrannyRaffle Hash Sinner: Wrong Number
The HaresHash Saint: Good trail, extra snacks and loads of excellent food. Thank you
Fleece LifterBirthday Surprise: Happy Birthday from the PH3. I hope you enjoyed having a cake made on your head
Robin My SoapHash Sinner: Were you wearing a Tidewater Hash Shirt? You got a free beer any way
Anal CheeseReturner: Welcome back to the PH3. Ready for another few weeks of intense sun-baking as you're looking a bit pale
BubblesHash Sinner: He's a growing lad. Started a while ago driving a tiny Japanese car. He's now grown into a monster Ford truck
Flying Dick Truck FuckerRaffle Hash Sinner: Whilst fondling the bananas on trail, he was heard to say, "Too soft for me. I like them hard". Ooh err!
Smokey Trucky FuckyReturner: PH3 welcomes you back, we wish all the very best and hope we get to see a lot more of you
V.V.Hash Sinner: We appreciate the regular updates on STF's health. But you keep calling him Smokey Fucky Trucky. You even had it printed wrong on the Belgian Hash shorts you were both wearing
Sad SackVisitor: PH3 welsomes you and all your Colombian Hasher 'Sack' family
DragonHash Saint: Thank you for visiting the police station and sorting out the issue with A-site land owner

Scribe Report by General Kidney Wiper

Why let food get in the way of a good story.

Today’s run was at a new A-site, just off Highway 331. It was nicely shaded with plenty of space.
Our GM The Wizard welcomed all and sundry and explained we had special permission from the owner to be there. Even though the hash is always careful to leave no trash, it was explained that we had to be extra vigilant with cigarette butts, as the area is extremely dry and fires are easily started.
Today’s hares Fleece Lifter, Boring Wanker, Dragon and Black Panther came in and told us about the run. They let the runners go, but kept the walkers back and explained that we may encounter a back check before the runners did so. If that was the case, we were not to break it.
I must admit, the start of the run/walk was extremely pleasant. Nicely shaded with easy going paths. I was shooting the shit with BB and Kee Mah when the pleasant stroll suddenly took an about face and we came across a small stream, which had a log, as a bridge, but you had to walk on a downward slope. Eating Monster had already taken the plunge and measured the depth, which was up to her neck. She was now aiding the wobbly knee-ed old farts to cross, with the aid of her walking stick. After this it was back to some nice tracks.
But it was not long before we came across the back-check. Still unbroken, so obviously the runners had not passed. Of course, it was just as we, the walkers were figuring it out that Herring Choker came flying passed. Not even wasting time on the back check, he carried on, but it was the wrong way. I know this, because I found paper the correct way. Seal Sucker and Shy Tiger did suddenly appear beside me, but the direction of their arrival was dubious.
Anyway, I hope a real runner did finally manage to break that back-check.
The beauty of having the runners arriving before you, means that you can go directly to the beer truck and grab a beer, without waiting around. I walked 4.7km so that beer hit the spot just right.
Not long after this the hares then served up some great looking grub. After a walk, or a run, unfortunately I can never eat, much to my chagrin. But there were definitely many appreciative comments.

After a decent cooling down period, the GM called the circle to order.
First in were Hash crashes and there were plenty. Car Licker, GI Joe, Eating Monster, Drag Queen and Kylie the virgin from Utah.
Next, it was hares on ice. It was summed up as “Good Run. Great Food.” Well done hares.
Then it was time for the raffle run by Black Panther. I did not win this week, but many did. One guy who did win had no idea what the raffle was about and asked “What do I do?” Whereas Minnie Mouse took all of one second to rush in and claim her prize.
Just want to say a big thanks to the girls selling the tickets and purchasing the prizes. Another of these unseen jobs that everyone takes for granted.

Sperm Polluter then took the circle and awarded She’s the Boss his 30th Hare T-shirt. Well done.

The Wizard then proceeded to make a birthday cake for Fleece Lifter by mixing all the ingredients on his head. Dragon seemed to enjoy helping. (Hope Mr and Mrs are still talking).

Scar with 2Ts then took over. Plenty of hashers copped the ice. 
Robin my Sook, for a dodgy hash T-shirt. 
Virgins who said they enjoyed it.
Arse van Hole for making noise with his Harley bike.
Anal Cheese for looking pale.
SKK thinking he could smuggle money with Anal Cheese.
Bubbles for buying a Big Ford.
All American hashers. Whereas Trump is going to make America great again, Bubbles is going to make big cars great again.

The Wizard then brought in VV for lying and saying Smokey Trucky Fucky had died. Good to see him back, but a little hoarser.

Now this is where my notes turn to shit. A combination of a crappy pen and even crappier penmanship.
Seem to remember the Mismanagement being brought in. Well done guys and gals. Would be no Hash without you. (Check out Dirt Looney’s circle notes).

Hares’ Song.
Final Countdown.
One for the road.
Happy Hour at Monna Bar. Thanks again.

Another great hash.
Thanks hares and Mismanagement.

On On, General Kidney Wiper

Hares' Song

Jingle Bells; Ging Gang yells 
Wheres the fucking food 
I've only had 10 helpings 
I don't think that's rude 
I'm only here for cheap beer 
And I think its bloody great 
And yes I'll sleep in the circle 
Until its extra late

Jingle Bells, The GM yells 
Where is Milky Piss?
I'm sick all these wankers 
Who I'm not gonna miss 
I'm only here for a free run 
I'm a pensioner you see
And from the end of this month 
I won't pay the fucking fee

Jingle Bells, Dragon yells
Black Panther is a bitch
She didn't help me with cooking
But that's because she's rich
I'm only here for Fleecy
Until I've made him poor
And as soon as that happens
He's straight out the front door

Jingle Bells, Boring Wanker yells
I'm so fucking smart
The trail today was my work
All Fleecy did was fart
I'm only here to front run 
And show you my land speed 
And from next Monday's PH3 
It'll be me who's in the lead


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