PH3 Run 2087
Monday, February 24, 2025
Scribe Report - Scribe: Diaper Sniper
Another big day 110 signups
A great A-site with lots of trees and cool breezes and little sun. The group of experienced women hares did a great job setting and marking a very nice walking and running trail. They provided gourmet snacks with fruits sticks and cups of fresh mango. A nice change from the usual watermelon and chips. The hares also put on a wonderful feast of first class Pad Thai with all of the fixings including, of course, extra sugar. Shout out to silent heroes Beer police Arse Van Hole and She’s the Boss for protecting the eskies each week. Also shoutout to the GM who came from his deathbed to run the circle... real dedication.
GM called circle at 6:20.
Fashion Police: GM started the circle by declaring himself the “Chief of the Fashion Police” and nobody challenged him, so I guess it sticks. Working undercover on the Baht Bus to the A-site, the GM observed Fowl Fucker trash talking his waist pack as a purse and so of course he was sent to warm up the ice for the evening. Asked how old his floppy socks were, FF replied “about 10 years” have they ever been washed? Time for new socks? Knob Marley - a returner - also warming the ice, was declared a Fashion disaster for wearing a yellow Filipino Monkey outstation shirt.
Hash Trash: Some suspicious size 10 Wellies were found. We all knew who the guilty party was, one of last week’s hares, Muff Designher. He said he needed them to visit a reputed S&M den of sin aka the Castle. I hope he remembers his vinyl suit too.
Hash Crash: Sperm Bank said he didn’t know what happened. General Kidney Wiper slipped and put his hand out and cut himself. Muff Designher said he fell down. The GM said that the hares could have worked harder to get hashers on the ice. Next time. Fleece Lifter entertained us with “They Got the Clap” to the tune of “Those were the Days.”
Hares called to the Ice: The hares, all ladies were Bell End, Lost Cause, Shy Tiger, Duchess Tadpole, Hoi Wan, Miss Use Me, Tom Boy. Between them many years of experience setting trails and hosting the hash and it showed. Sporting a high fashion sexy schoolgirl look with plaid skirts and matching white shirts they received the groups comments. “Delicious fruits” “Great run although got lost in the last km” Fleece Lifter remarked that clearly the girls “went shopping on Saturday” because many of the paper slips were receipts…good way to hide from husbands. Spastic Whore King being contrary, said too much water and not enough paper. “Wonderful walk” “Well papered” Some walkers missed the merge and headed wrong way up running trail sowing confusion amongst runners. Stupid Kraut Kunt said that it was the best Pad Thai ever and they should open a restaurant. “Two thumbs up…trail and food” My Girl Friend Knows I'm Gay said it was a great start to his vacation. Speedo Pete said that Seal Fucker… I mean Sucker was first in. Missing but returned FRB Herring Choker said it was the best run he had done this year… maybe the first too. Seal Sucker complained that he had to do back checks alone.., Boo hoo. GM stated the hares were true “Hash Heroes” or Heroines. Normally shy Spastic Whore King pulled out a distinctive version of YMCA to serenade the hares off the ice. Just positive vibes around the circle.
Raffle: Sexy Butterfly was back today and was tapped to do the raffle in the place of the missing Black Panther. She did a great job of building suspense as she hung the first digits. Happy Survivor didn’t win tonight for a change but there is always next week.
Discharge won a bottle of wine and a ride on the ice for bringing her beer into circle.
Belle won a huge bottle of Gin… time for some Norwegian gin and tonics.
Chip Chip won some gourmet chocolates and a surprise-wrapped bottle which was labeled “Don’t shake”
Atomic Muff Diver won some laundry soap… maybe he can offer to wash FF’s socks
Paprika Smiley won the cookies
Sir Really Sadistic Bastard won a surprise package which looked like a huge Toblerone.
Bubbles won a water bottle which he immediately tried to sway with the other winners.
Spastic Whore King won some more soap.
Factoids: GM shared some interesting PH3 tidbits verified by club fact-checker Dirt Looney.
Our club has 13,119 registered members.
If you line up V.V.’s sausages and burgers they would stretch up and down Soi 6 about 6 times.
RA The Wizard took over the circle. Speedo Pete with silent “S” and Stuart from Sussex were immediately put on the ice because they are “Fing chatterboxes” Clearly talking in the circle is not a way to please the Wizard. Taxi driver Stuart who has not been named was clearly identified by the Wiz as a “Hook nosed bastard” which made all of the Brits nod their heads and the rest of us shake ours in confusion. Stuart was asked why he moved from the garden of England to the asshole of England. Stuart confessed that he has had a Thai girlfriend for 30 years who got to England by marrying a Falang who then died. Stuart was also a milkman so Emperor Airhead will have some strong fodder when naming him next week… if he shows.
Professor D'erections from Seoul was called into the circle and he promptly forgot the rules about bringing a drink which I clearly overhead the Wizard explaining to him before the first circle. The Wizard further clarified that he does not have to offer corrections when in the circle. The Prof has been a hasher for three years but this was his first time gracing the ice. Asked how it was as a Sex Tourist in Pattaya the Prof said it was all “Shags and rubdown” to which the Wizard replied “Boys or Girls?” No answer was heard. When asked if he would come back the Prof said he “would do my best.”
Discharge and Prison Bitch were called onto the ice because they are getting ready to return to the UK. The Wizard offered “Cheerio” and wanted to thank them for positive comments on the PH3 FB page.
Paprika Smiley was put on the ice for hosting the yearly celebration of 5 Feb 1961 born hashers. He introduced the group to a strange dish called Fondue… some sort of melted cheese. V.V., Sperm Polluter and Scar were invited to join him. The Wizard said that after 15 rounds of shots and such he crawled home at 7 pm and left the others. None of the others would admit when they left but Dirt Looney was seen outside the bar at 4 am.
Professor D'erections from Seoul sang a song and told some bad jokes.
RA Scar W/2Ts took over the circle:
Eagle eyed Scar called the missing purple-shirt guy into the circle. Emerging from the tree he was hiding behind, Serbian Oliver was seen sitting down at the start of the circle. He said “I’m tired” and Scar replied “How tired?” Turns out he has been to the hash 8 times. Scar placed him in the bucket just to wake him up. “Bucket is for a shock so you don’t need to stay there” Back on the ice and after establishing his vocation as a Sex tourist… a tired sex tourist… Scar asked if he knew what stool meant. Oliver said no so Scar told him to ask Stool Mover after the circle. After a unanimous vote from the circle he was promptly christened “Stool Stealer”
After a “shirt search” Scar remarked with disappointment that everyone was behaving tonight.
Virgins into the circle: There were 7 French brought by Rags guru Something Stupid and one Irishman. Asked how the experience was, responses were “tres bon” and asked if they would come back “oui oui’ was heard. Scar welcomed them and told them to have a good time and drink more beer.
Called to the ice were Bikini Bandit and Sperm Bank. They offered protests and were warned about the bucket. Scar asked them what you should do when coming to a check. They responded “Go on” or “do nothing”, which was exactly the problem. Apparently they chose not to break the check even though they have been hashing for centuries if not millenia. Next time they will hide until someone else breaks the check.
Next onto the ice were the Skywalkers Chuck the Blood Up and Billion Sucker who were the guilty party who walked up the running trail near the end throwing some runners into a state of confusion.
Recognitions by Sperm polluter:
Spermy called one of today’s hares Tom Boy into the circle for having 10 hares. Hares Lost Cause has done 30 hares and Duchess Tadpole has done 50. I heard that they are planning more joint efforts in the future. Tom Boy was called back to get her 300 run shirt. Panzer Fister has 5 hared runs and 100 runs. Sir Arse-A-Holic has hit the milestone of 1000 runs and I was told that he gets free runs from now on… Cheers mate.
The Wizard was called to the circle to reward him for his 7 years of outstanding dedication to the club. “He has brought the club to new heights.”
Wanker of the Week: No wanker of the week this week so I guess CIA (missing this week) will hold on to the honor and the wooden spoon.
Hares sang a song… The hares sang a Thai song? And danced and shared their good vibes.
The Wizard led the final down down. And another great night with the Pattaya H3 was in the books.
The On-On bar was the Kubla where the GM entertained us with his versions of various songs. All were seen to be having a good time.
On On Diaper Sniper