RUN 2088 – The Lord Chicken Fucker Memorial Run (3rd)
I am sure many hashers are asking “Who was Lord Chicken Fucker” and why this Memorial run?
Well, LCF (or John McAllen) was quite a character. Also, it shows the respect from PH3 that they remember and honour his memory in this way.
Chicken was a prolific PH3 hasher, his 1st run being #399 on the 2nd, Dec 1991 and he had an amazing total of 1224 runs. To illustrate how dedicated LCF was to hashing, it is noteworthy that in achieving 1000 runs, he only missed 18 actual continuous runs on getting there. He was GM in 1996, 1997 & 1998. He also was the beer truck driver for a great many years. But it was as a RA that LCF excelled and held his own. Never one to be shy, anyone was fair game for his rumbustious ridicule when he called them into the circle. His brand of humour was not unsimilar to Tommy Coopers, and was certainly hilarious and unique, with him continuing as RA up to his last run.
Also, when John was Master of Music, there was no limits to his talent of composing and crooning his many “Hash Songs” I am sure that many old hashers, who these were composed for, will long remember them.
Also, LCF’s legacy will live on. Due to names of his girlfriends and his son. These are Chicken Legs, Chicken Licken’ and Chicken Nugget (Later changed to Master Bates).
To be honoured by the PH3 is something special. So Really Sadistic Bastard and myself have agreed, to cut down our amount of “Talking in the circle,” so that we might one day, be remembered more favorably and respected in future, as opposed to those two noisy old bastards.
Well, it was announced that last Friday was the official start of Thai summer. The weather today sure confirmed that. But we had a nice shaded A-site at the Monk’s Retreat. A large turnout was greeted by our GM Milky Piss, in his customary exuberant manner. Seven vessel virgins were introduced and instructed not to get lost because no one will come looking for you. (They bring you up tough on PH3).
The Hares Pussy Snatcher, Jellobutt, Beetroot Head and Tan explained that it was Nine kilometres for the run. Five and a half kilometres for the walk. Split for runners and walkers after three kilometres. The walkers were kept back and informed to not break the last two checks, but to go left and leave them for the runners. Nice and easy instructions and we were off. It was a bit hot after leaving the shaded A-site, but we eventually hit some shaded areas. I did the walk, but ran part of it and was back in just over an hour.
It was not much longer that the first of the runners arrived and then we were able to have that first eagerly awaited cold beer.
Plenty of hashers sitting down relaxing, shooting the shit or eating VV’s sandwiches.
After a decent cooling down period, the GM called the circle to order.
Last week Milky Piss introduced a new feature, whereby he was a “Fashion Policeman.” This week he enhanced this by bring in Dead Gump as his Sergeant, who ended up (or down) on the ice. Singled out for their “Fashion Follies” were Turd Bugler (1000TH Run T-shirt) and Cannon Ball (Baggy pants).
Lost property was next, with Disco Dick claiming a pair of reading glasses.
Hash crashes and as always when this A-site is used, there were a lot of stumblers. The Wizard, NMC, My Girlfriend Knows I am Gay, Sick of Steve and Sir Arse a Holic. Thankfully, no bleeders.
The Hares were then brought in and the GM went round asking opinions about the run. May variations over a broad spectrum, but there were two of note. GI Joe said “Excellent” and Sexy Butterfly said “Not enough food". Nuff said. Well done hares.
Next it was time for the eagerly anticipated raffle. After Stool Stealer won the bottle of Bombay Sapphire gin, my interest waned. However, I was glad to see Honey Bear did win something, as she had bought 500 baht worth of tickets.
Now time for some religion and it was terrific to see Emperor Airhead back in action. Hares in and on the ice. Berated for shitty hash signs, but praised for a good run.
Really Sadistic Bastard and General Kidney Wiper on ice to reminisce about the old days with Lord Chicken Fucker.
Pussy Snatcher and Jellobutt congratulated on both haring 10 runs. Well done.
More religion. Scar w/2 Ts takes the circle and casts his ‘Evil Eye” around. Yanky Crank and Disco Duck, not wearing Hash shirts. No Banana was a lying Hash crash.
Sir Miserable Cunt on the ice. Causing a bit of a seismic movement there from the “Big Boy.” Seemingly, got lost getting to the A-site and clocked up seventy-eight kilometres. Even though he was driving, tried to blame Honey Bear.
Virgins in, and all seven of them said they enjoyed the run. One Leggy Lady was questioned about her going with the Beer Hunters on her first run. When she left the circle, I asked her for her name (Viarun) just for my notes and jokingly asked for her phone number, which she gave me. This is another perk for being a scribe. Maybe you can mention this GM, when you are looking for a scribe for next week’s run.
Now it is about this stage in the proceedings when the Alka Seltzer disease kicks in, not to mention the Chang, so my notes are now a bit of a scribble.
The Wizard then took charge. Icing the hares as they seemingly leaked today’s run on the internet. Then there was a monumental happening. All Americans on the ice. This was a buttock breaker of epic proportions. Not sure why. Could it be something to do with Mr Trump?
Next, he iced the hares.
Finally, he named a guy Swing Low Sweet Testicles, whose balls had popped out on the baht bus journey to the run.
The GM then brought in GKW to have a down down for LCF.
Finally, time for the hare’s song. It was terrible
Okay, they tried a second song. It was shittier than the first.
But at least they tried. Kudus for that.
Final countdown; Swing Low Sweet Chariot and one for the bus.
A great hash as usual.
Thank you, Monna Bar for the Happy Hour you gave us. I was not there, but sure of those that made it had a great time.
Now this is not the end. There is a bit of a sting in the tail. So being quite pleasantly pissed, Cannon Ball, RSB and myself get into Bubbles’ Truck to come back home. As it is a little bit dark and we are even a little more inebriated, we decided to use my phone for navigation. Somehow, we got fcuked up and lost. Now I do not know if this had anything to me dropping my phone last week and cracking the screen. But I would like to think it was that prankster Lord Chicken Fucker having one last go at us, as would be his want. The bastard.
Lord Chicken Fucker, you were the man. Will always remember you and respect you.
OnOn, General Kidney Wiper