It was obvious on arrival that there was a flap on. Herring Choker was doing a good impression of a headless chicken. Lost Cause looked frazzled and only Tan the Beer Man the beer truck man looked calm. Apparently the land owner had rescinded her permission to use her land given just 3 days previously due to her cashew nut trees dropping their loads.
Eventually all was sorted with the help of Tan, 4 cans of beer and 4 cans of sodas! So all was calm again.
There was a slight secondary problem in that we had no GM. Apparently Milky Piss had relatives in town who were late arriving due to the closure of Heathrow Airport a couple of days previously. Luckily we had a well-tried retiree to step into the breach so all was sorted quite easily.
So Oz called the first circle and urged us not to piss in/on/around the cashew nut trees and then introduced the hares who were 3 virgins under the control of Herring Choker. Well done HC to get such guys to front up and finally to hare. For the record, Goosey Goosey Gobbler has done 110 runs, Diarrhea has done 54 runs and Parou Parou (which is Tagalog for “Butterfly”) has done 98 runs.
The run length was said to be 3.5km for the Walkers and 7-8km for the Runners. The former measurement was about right with She’s the Boss coming in under the hour but the Runners looked like they’d done a bit more as the first ones home – Fleece Lifter, Sick of Steve and Boring Wanker were well over the hour.
In the absence of VV there was no food although the hares laid on extra snacks.
Into the second circle and there was only one Hash Trash but quite a few hash crashes including both of our Cambodian ladies. Black Panther claimed Boring Wanker kicked her so BW got iced
The hares were called but as Parou Parou had done a runner to the nearest Baht Bus and refused to come out and play Herring Choker got the bucket.
Dirt Looney complained that the sticks used were only painted on one side (picky)
Home Brew who is still not running yet said the walk was a bit challenging but OK
Slug said the 3km walk was better than the 17k run he had done on Saturday on a lesser hash.
Graven Image said he was upset “I didn’t win” so he went straight to the bucket. This is a hash not a race!
The Raffle was called by Black Panther in her shortest skirt which caused a few guys to miss their numbers being called.
Emperor Airhead took the circle and told a good story about Milky Piss nearly getting pissed on by a Soi dog. He then tested the ice to its limits by putting Gas Man, Mama San’s Big Boy, Milky Way and TV onto the ice. There must have been 1000lbs plus of sweaty flesh there – not a pleasant thought.
Necrophilia Night Rider was back on the ice after a few weeks away from it while EA was getting his back sorted. His love life seems to be in limbo between his girlfriend (who is only 4 months older than his car) and the rest of the inhabitants of Soi 6.
Scar with 2 T’s looked in vain for those not wearing hash gear. But he did get Home Brew in for an unadmitted hash crash. HB’s response that he thought it only applied to runners didn’t impress Scar at all especially when he added that “I thought no one had seen me”. However, the dust and dirt all over the backside of his shorts upon his return was a dead giveaway!
Knob Marley and Sir MC were called in alongside Big Lungs who dropped her shorts to sit on the ice – hope some more of the girls will follow her example! The charge was that Big Lungs had beaten Sir MC at pool which made him even more of a Miserable Cunt than usual.
Fleece Lifter took the circle and iced Dragon, Little Dragon, Squeeze and GI Joe. Something about sheep. He then sang an altered version of the song: “If your boyfriend tastes like shit turn him over” but realized as he got the end that the rhyming only works with “clit”.
Gangreen then caused a minor ruckus by falling over and Scar did Swinging in the Rain as the hare’s song.
Oz then gave us what I thought was a Spoonerism when he announced that he was fucking the hare next week. I thought he was just a bit pissed until I realized that both he and Burley Chassis are hares next week so he was right after all.
It was then time for the final DD, a rousing chorus of Swing Low and off to the Pothole Bar for further jollifications.
On On, Shit Lips