For the second time in consecutive weeks, a land owner intervened prior to the start of the run necessitating a quick alteration to the start of the trail. Fortunately, The Wizard always carries a bog roll which proved useful in resetting the first 600 metres of the trail.
The GM Milky Piss called the first circle and invited the five virgins into the circle where they were presented with the customary gift of a Pattaya H3 stubby holder.
The hares then described the day’s trails. The walker’s trail was said to be a bit over 3 km and the runner’s trail around 8km. There was quite a bit of shade on trail and the weather was on the cooler side. Out of Order and myself made the decision to walk the run and I measured 6.5km.
As VV is still in Western Australia after attending what was a successful Freo Nash Hash, there was no food however the hares had plenty of snacks, the abundant flies being particularly attracted to the bananas.
The GM in his role as Chief of Fashion Police called in Burley Chassis and presented her with a blue helmet noting that she had designed 80% of the Pattaya H3 shirts. She was offered the choice of standing or the ice, ice it was. Gas Man was called to the ice for being a fashion disaster. All hashers wearing the Sin City Monkey t-shirt were called to the ice, this being another Burley Chassis design from a concept from the GM.
Next up was the Hash Trash with a towel belonging to Disco Dick, a black cap for Bullshitter and an unclaimed t-shirt left at Kubla.
Hash crash awards followed.
Fleece Lifter - claimed Shy Tiger pushed him
Dags - with more bandages than an Egyptian mummy
Black Panther - claimed two hashers were involved, one with a bald head.
Fattus Maximus gave a note.
The hares were called in for run/walk critique.
Notable comments from the circle:
Panzer Fister - too flat, too short
Herring Choker - great run, lots of checkbacks
Mamasans Big Boy - they tried to kill me.
The raffle was called by Black Panther with male hashers being fascinated by her pronunciation of the number six.
Emperor Airhead took the circle and noted that he is now best buddies with Milky Piss at the TQ and suggesting he might like to pick the new colour scheme for the ST room. Hares were called to the ice with the suggestion that 100 years ago, The Wizard and Burley Chassis would be royalty and Gas Man a coachman. Burley Chassis seemed to be a good analogy for Emperor Airhead’s trusty motorcycle.
It was noted that Gas Man has had many career changes and is now driving trucks loaded with high explosives.
Piss Poorer, Scar W/2Ts, Mamasans Big Boy and Velcro Dick were called to the ice with Supervirgin standing. Supervirgin’s son Mamasans Big Boy had made it a practice whilst in Pattaya to be in hospital/jail/hospital. Piss Poorer and Scar W/2Ts were deemed to his good angels, one on each shoulder.
Black Panther and Shy Tiger were asked to find two male hashers each to put on ice, a job they enthusiastically undertook. Piss Drinker, Bikini Bandit, Swing Low Sweet Testicles and Pig A Dildo (formerly Moscow H3, now representing Saigon H3) were the lucky males.
Sheik Meme took the circle.
Velcro Dick took a seat on the ice for drinking vodka and dragging a splinter group up to the TQ on the recent Scandihooligan Walkabout. Scar W/2Ts and Supervirgin were invited to join him. Velcro Dick was declared a winner and received a bottle of vodka as his prize.
Rudi Voeller, Slug and Sir Really Sadistic Bastard were called to the ice for some dubious charges.
Scar W/2Ts called in the virgins and all agreed that they had a great day.
He observed that on the recent Scandihooligan Walkabout, only one Aussie made it to the end and that was Gas Man. Those Aussies that didn’t make it - Piss Poorer, Whoredini, Skeik Meme and KAM were called to the ice before an errant comment by KAM sent him to the bucket. A note for the Aussies and it was back to the GM.
Hash awards were given out.
General Kidney Wiper - 900 runs,
Sausage Head - 100 runs,
Any Cock’ll Do - 50 runs
Arse Van Hole - 30 hares
The hares were called it to ‘sing us a song’ with Gas Man doing a lively version of the ‘Lobster Song’ with plenty of audience participation.
The Wizard called in hashers for the final Down Down with Swing Low finishing the night before hashers headed back to the Monna Bar in Soi Lengkee for some great food and company.
Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.
On On, Slug