Scribe Report Hash Sheet – Run 2098 – 12th May 2025
Hares – Herring Choker , Bengt Potato , Sir Arseaholic , Ping Pong
Hash Flash – Sausage Hat (Run) YMCA (Circle)
GM – Milky Piss
Having completed my desert Sabbatical, I returned to my beloved adopted Hash. Like an addict seeking his fix and purpose in life, I once again sat myself in the scribe’s chair.
It seemed to me that in six months not much had changed, apart from the GM seemed to have less hair, put on weight and aged 20 years.
The A site was about 50 minutes away and seemed well situated with cover from the elements, and what was a well-marked trail, generally enjoyed by all.
The first circle was opened by the GM
3 Virgins were welcomed to the group John (these shoes aren’t new they’ve been in every bar in Pattaya), Kasper (did have new shoes) and Nice (yes, she was).
The first note sung
Safety briefing was given with the words ‘if you get lost, you’re on your own ‘
The hares gave the run briefing which was very informative and even to the time to point out that the start for runners and walkers was in two different directions.
Gangreen announced that the beer hunters were available if anyone was up for the challenge.
Without further ado we were off and I found myself last of the walkers. My previous ‘running mate’ YMCA had cried off the trail citing a tiny scratch on his arm, as a worrying injury as he limped around muttering ‘my leg hurts’
Of note, I was an unfortunate enough to encounter the dubious Slimeball who led me astray in the last 1km of the walk. Thankfully our paths crossed with the Hash hero and deity that is Mud Cracker; who kindly put us back on the path to righteousness.
The second circle shenanigans were begun by the GM
Those who were iced in no particular order
Fashion Police
Bubbles (health and fitness guru and all round American hero) was welcomed back to the hash and promoted to Fashion Police
Sausage Head was also promoted to this highly prized post, having come to notice with his marvelous technicoloured shirt.
Hash Trash
Slimeball – bucket for leaving a ‘stool’ in the wrong place
Hash Crashers (Bleeders)
GI Joe – still seemed dazed and confused
Pissing Sid – blamed bramble
Hares on Ice
The Hares were roundly praised for the trail and the food.
It was acknowledged that the Norwegian contingent had performed admirably on this Hash in celebration of their forthcoming National Day 17th May.
In addition, credit was given to the founding fathers of our Hash itself, who were indeed all of Nordic origin.
The raffle was completed by the ever lovely Shy Tiger whose clear and concise elocution led astray 4 members who were put on ice. (Winners listed elsewhere)
Awards
Happy Survivor – 300 runs
Golden Rivet – 400 runs
Tellytubby – (late arrival to the circle) 300 runs
General KidneyWiper – 900 runs (a magnificent achievement like no other, well met sir well met)
Bengt Potato – 200 runs and 1 hare with a small gap in attendance of 20 years
Emperor Airhead – took on the circle and reminded everybody that it is an obligation not an option to sing in the hash.
He also was able to praise the food supplied in particular:-
The delicious scrambled eggs were made by Shy Tiger (cooked sunny side up)
The wonderous potato salade Lady Squeeze My Tube (still looking guilty)
Back on ice was the bromance of Bubbles and Sausage Head, with the achievement of 22kg lost in weight by SH recognised and appreciated by all. She’s the Boss has now enrolled in Bubbles boot camp to take on Herring Chokers 60-day challenge something we all eagerly await.
The Tahitian Queen featured heavily this week. Night Rider showing a masterful example of timed ST booking vs an anticipated village girl arrival. Although the girl in question failed to appear. Also, Dingo (named China informally) may be soon helping Interpol with their inquiries as to the disappearance of a different TQ bargirl who he was last seen with.
There was a discussion around the national drinks of Norway vs Denmark with Casper (no name) – but no one really understood or cared
The Wizard took over the circle and immediately iced Something Kinder, Lady Squeeze My Tube, Shy Tiger for leaning against a car, and gossiping
Fond farewell to Sausage Head who has been a great hash flash, safe journey and come back soon from your trip back to Da Fatherland
Of concern, the original Fattus Maximus appears to have been abducted by aliens and replaced with a boring clone. Keep watching the skies
The Wizard gathered an all-female Final Down Down and closure
On On - So Long, Farwell, Adieu, Who the Fuck Am I