PH3 Run 2097 Shy Tiger Birthday Run
Monday, May 5, 2025
Scribe Report
Scribe: Diaper Sniper
Threat of rain saw only 77 signups this week. The ladies were in charge today: Lady Squeeze my Tube, Sexy Butterfly, Shy Tiger and Dragon did a great job. They found a brand new A-site which all agreed was very nice: mango trees laden with fruit, a stage for well needed protection from sun and water, a tree house, picnic tables, toilets and a gracious host who welcomed us. Not sure what this place is… perhaps a party zone for Hells Angels. During the drive out there were some dark clouds but the weather man assured us it was not going to rain this afternoon. Famous last words. GM called the first circle just as the rain started. Maybe deluge would be a better descriptor. Beer hunters didn’t even wait for circle and just set off. So after a circle with almost everyone squeezed onto the stage except GI Joe who knew he would get wet so just stayed outside, the brave runners and walkers set off despite the less than favorable conditions. Some of the less brave… AKA chickens, yours truly included... stayed under the shelter. By the time the first walkers returned, the weather had cleared up and despite some sprinkles the rest of the night was dry and nice. Luckily I didn’t have to pull out the waterproof paper today. The hares prepared and served what many described as the best hash food ever: There was lots of it so nobody went hungry. Larb moo, pumpkin curry, egg tofu, fresh veggies. Thanks to Fleece Lifter, Dragon’s prep chef who reminded us many times that he had to peel all of the “efing pumpkins.” Sexy Butterfly was overheard claiming “nobody loves me” as she begged someone to buy her raffle tickets..if it isn’t that, it is drinks. Some kind soul stepped up and bought her some. Sausage Head is Hash Hero of the week for taking first circle and run pictures, joining 2nd circle staff photographer YMCA who is always there.
After a slight delay caused by missing hasher Tim from Canada, the GM called second circle at 6:30.
Fashion Police: GM started out by asking if everyone is dried out. As usual the GM appointed two sergeant at arms as his assistants: SCAB tried to call out The Wizard but to no avail. Big Gulp was called onto ice for her beautiful shirt from Filipino Corona hash. SCAB was named Hash Hero for going out on trail to find the lost Tim from Canada.
Hash Trash: all trash was washed away this week and all of last week’s was claimed by the Wizard.
Hash Crash: Sick of Steve said he was jumping over water when he fell. Boring Wanker said that an FRB it was his duty to find danger spots and clear them for the slow pokes. Dick in the Dyke fell off the beer truck. Whore in the Window and Sir Really Sadistic Bastard rode the ice because they could not shut up. The Wizard’s line of the night. “Are you on the sex offender’s registry??? You should be”
Hares called to the Ice: Lady Squeeze my Tube, Sexy Butterfly, Shy Tiger and Dragon. Ready to take abuse from the wet hashers they were surprised to hear things like: “Great A site” “Loved it.lots of ups and downs” Drinks Like A Girl admitted he was one of the chickens and stayed behind for the wine tasting. “Too Wet and Squishy... how we like it” “High five for everyone who suffered the run” “Take my hat off” “Lots of hanging paper which didn’t get washed away” Fleece Lifter..”moist and narrow like... ” not like Seal Sucker who likes it “dry and wide” GI Joe claimed it was “too short like my wife” Don’t tell Lady Squeeze. Jobless was met with shouts of “Liar” as he claimed he ran and walked both of the trails even though everyone saw him cowering under the shelter during the run. Someone walked with a handsome guy with a blue shirt on.
Raffle: The real reason everyone comes to the hash. Raffle Queen Black Panther was back in charge after her 6 week vacation.
1. Flying Dick Truck F&%$ker won the wine
2. FDTF promptly won the second pull which he declined like a true gentleman. Rewarded with the ice and the exclamation that he would “never refuse a win again”
3. Cannonball won the vodka which he promptly regifted to the Monkey hash
4. Of course Happy Survivor won again... doesn’t she always? She claimed the laundry soap so She’s the Boss can finally do the wash.
5. Shy Tiger..corruption..picked up and put Black Panther on the prize table first because that was what she really wanted but had to settle for beer.
6. Dragon more corruption won the travel charger. Time for another trip Fleece Lifter
7. Minnie Mouse after she woke up won some well needed mouth wash
8. YMCA..who will take his picture?..won some coffee
RA Emperor Air Head was washed away on the way to the A-site..currently floating towards the TQ.
Fleece Lifter took over the circle. Time for some payback. VV went right into the bucket because apparently he put FL on the ice 5 times at the swamp rats. Drinks Like A Girl was called to the ice because he cowered under the shelter during the run. GM, Michael and The Wizard rode the ice for dressing like twins today. The Beer Hunters were called to the ice because apparently they only bought ice cream today.
Recognitions:
1. Shy Tiger 10 hared runs
2. Boring Wanker 50 runs
3. Any Cock'll Do 50 runs
4. Sausage Head 100 runs overheard: “what a gay shirt... well he has a man bun”
5. She’s the Boss 300 runs
RA The Wizard took over the circle. Before he even came into the circle... he called on Fleece Lifter to sit on the ice. Hares came back in and surprise surprise The Wizard was full of praise for the hares. “Congrats on great food, a brilliant new A-site and great trail.” When the wizard asked who did the paper..it was Lady Squeeze my Tube. Who did the trail? Lady Squeeze. Shy Tiger also helped with the trail. Dragon made all of the food... did you hear that Fleece Lifter peeled the pumpkin? Sexy Butterfly contributed by “following them and talking.” FL forgot to take care of the car so according to Dragon it was “F&*ked up at Makro.”
We had one virgin today but she was lost in the rain looking for her husband.
The Wizard called SCAB to the ice to explain how he went out to look for Just Tim who joined him on the ice. It seems that this is Just Tim’s second PH3 run the first being in 1990. Was he lost all that time or just tonight? He was looking for his wife and back tracked a few times and actually held up the second circle a bit. Luckily there was still some food for him. Wizard was surprised that he was lost since he was the only one well prepared for the flood having a kayak with him. But he left the kayak along with his phone in the truck and not on trail. Marcel (I thought mimes didn’t talk) and Minnie Mouse were invited to the ice because they could not shut up. Pussy Snatcher joined them for talking.
It was time for the Wanker of the Week. Boring Wanker was called up to explain why he tried to change his name to Best Hasher Ever while at a Bangkok hash. It is rumored you can do this for a case of beer. Jobless was invited to join him for lying about walking or running today. When asked where he got his name he said it was because he was jobless when named. Magic Mogu was invited too. Wizard asked if she knew that you have to be 70 to sit in the circle. She confessed that she did. Her husband Hissing Sid joined her as he explained that her name means Magic Mushroom in Chinese. Kilt Lifter joined Boring Wanker in the bucket for claiming that he did the running trail while only doing the walking trail. He explained that he got his name because he is the reincarnation of Brave Heart. Of course Fattus Maximus had to come back with the spoon. A helpful hasher pointed out that BW was “sitting in the bucket like a girl.” The Best Wanker Ever aka Boring Wanker won the honor of the spoon taking the prize from Fat Max.
It was time to wish Shy Tiger happy birthday. It was nice that she celebrated her 21st with us. Many happy returns.
Hares sang a song... well actually Gangreen came out with another R-rated song for them.
RA The Wizard led the final down down and hash song.
The On-On bar was the revamped Hustlers bar. While we miss Dave and crew, the new crew did a spot on job for us.
On-on until next week Diaper Sniper.