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PH3 Run 2099

Monday, 19 May 2025


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"A" site will be down in the shade of the oil palms
Hares: Bell End, Duchess Tadpole, Hoi Wan, Lost Cause
Scribe: Shithead
Hash Flash: Mayo Queen (Run), Spastic Whore King (Pre Run Circle), YMCA (2nd Circle)
Runners: 81

Total Hashers This Week - 81

Click On Name To View Hasher's Run History
Hashers Present Last Week - 54
Arse Van Hole (351), Bell End (669), Bengt Potato (232), Car Licker (95), Chuck The Fuck Up (77), Dick In The Dyke (32), Dirt Looney (450), Emperor Airhead (1688), Fattus Maximus (63), Flying Dick Truck Fucker (42), G.I. Joe (984), Gangreen (649), Golden Rivet (401), Happy Smile (12), Happy Survivor (301), Herring Choker (148), Hissing Sid (29), Hoi Wan (265), Jerry Cunt (23), Kilt Lifter (39), Lady Squeeze My Tube (777), Leg Over (123), Lost Cause (433), Magic Mogu (26), Mai Mao (27), Many Drinks (74), Mayo Queen (358), Miss Use Me (376), Mount Me (137), Panzer Fister (113), Papa Dick (141), Ping Pong (192), Piss Drinker (18), Pol Dancer (122), Seal Sucker (448), She's The Boss (305), Shit Lips (120), Shit On My Chest (44), Shy Tiger (125), Sick Of Steve (90), Sir Arse-A-Holic (1016), Sir Really Sadistic Bastard (1033), Sir Velcro Dick (590), Slime Ball (27), Something Kinder (166), Something Stupid (198), Spastic Whore King (210), Speedo Pete (79), Stupid Kraut Cunt (374), Telly Tubby (303), The Wizard (403), Who The Fuck Am I (17), Whore In The Window (288), YMCA (182)
Returners - 21
Any Cock'll Do (54), Atomic Muff Diver (68), B.B. (162), Barbie Doll (24), Boring Wanker (53), Cannon Ball (153), Cheese Dick (61), Chip Chip (187), Cookie Monster (133), Drinks Like A Girl (45), Duchess Tadpole (775), Giddy Up (27), Home Brew (63), Hot Hope (117), Marcel Hagendijk (3), Minnie Mouse (131), Parisian Titty (187), Sexy Butterfly (139), Shithead (58), Slippery Frog Tongue (14), Yanky Crank (51)
Visitors - 5
Blow My Pipe (1), Coco (1), Dags (10), Oh No (25), Sonpha Chonthicha (1)
Virgins - 1
Jamjan Chawsongkon (1)
Leavers - 0

Correcting Run Records Policy

To encourage hashers, and hash virgins, to take responsibility for ensuring they have received proper run credit, the deadline for reporting missed runs will be Thursday evening following a run. As run stats are posted to the website by noon of the Tuesday following the run, hashers will have 2 1/2 days to review the run stats to confirm they've received credit for the run just held.

The reason for the Thursday deadline is we close out the run accounts and run records for a run on Friday mornings. Corrections entered before Friday help ensure we have an accurate accounting of the run.

It is hoped with this policy in place the number of hashers that pay the signup fee and walk away before having their name marked off on the signup list will be reduced. This will also eliminate the cases where a hasher comes to us weeks, months, or even years later asking to correct a missed run in the records.

The one exception to this policy will be those with duplicate run records can approach us when they're close to achieving a run award. At that time we will merge the records so the run award reflects all their runs with the PH3.

Missed runs can be reported via email to the Webmaster.

Click On Name To View Hasher's Run History History

Anniversaries - 2
Bell End Was Congratulated For 20 Hared Runs With The PH3
The Wizard Received His Shirt In Recognition Of 400 Runs With The PH3
Hash Namings - 1
Michel Myara Was Given The Hash Name Slippery Frog Tongue
Birthdays - 4
The PH3 Wishes The Following A Happy B'day
Bob-A-Gob (24 May)
Cupcake (23 May)
Mamasans Big Boy (23 May)
Bubbles (22 May)

Click On Name To View Hasher's Circle Notes History

Saints and Sinners - 10
Whore In The WindowHash Trash: He handed in a pair of running shoes that he found in his truck after last week's run. Turns out they were his!
Mayo QueenHash Trash: Lost his prescription glasses on trail. Fortunately, somone else was able to see and picked them up
DagsHash Idiot: Nobody crashed this week. So, it was pick on Dags time. He wasn't wearing a shirt at all, ooh going topless was not a sight we were expecting. Also, missed the Walkers split and ended up walking the entire Runner's trail.
Home BrewRaffle Hash Sinner: Came into the circle wearing a towel around his neck
Who The Fuck Am IRaffle Hash Sinner: Brought his own beer into the circle
Spastic Whore KingHash Trivia: Sang a special Down-Down song to the female Hares..."I want to spray you with my DNA"... Google AI says this 'is a metaphorical expression of wanting to be deeply intertwined with someone, to be inseparable and bonded on a fundamental level. It's often used in a romantic context to convey a sense of deep connection and desire'... Go figure, the wonders of AI
Leg OverHash Hero: The funds from her continued effort as Raffle Mistress, help keep the PH3 solvent.Thank you
Something StupidHash Hero: The funds from his continued effort as Rags Master, help keep the PH3 solvent.Thank you
FRB ChatterboxesHash Sinner: Their continual gossiping throughout the circle led to 5 of them sitting on the ice and 2 in the bucket. Not sure why that sounds like a euphemism!
Lady Squeeze My TubeWanker Of The Week: Had to take the baht bus today as her car is in for repair after a 'minor' prang

Awards This Run

Bell End
20 Hared Runs

NOTE: Scribe Reports are written for your entertainment and are a work of fiction.
Any resemblance to actual people and events is purely coincidental.

Scribe Report by Shithead

Musings on the baht bus about Seal Suckers' upcoming 500th run (almost within reach) and supposed privilege in choosing an honorific. He felt Sir or Lord would be beneath him, more like King. BB reckoned he was already king of beach road, what with his entourage of 1000 Baht princesses. No, he wanted to be Stallion Seal Sucker. The consensus was he could be Stallion Sucker. All for nowt, he'll stay as he is.

At the run site caught up with an old pal from Subic H3, Blow My Pipe. Was on his way back to the Philippines after hernia surgery in the USA.

Ersatz GM The Wizard (Milky Piss indisposed) called the circle to order for run 2099 and mentally arithmetised that next week's run would be run 3000. This was confirmed by an inebriated but mathematical whizz shitHead.

4 female hares (I don't think there's a 'w' in that word) one of whose ha$h monikers means Sweet Pussy I am unreliably informed.
Lost property. Whore in the Window gave a lift home to several hashers and noticed an unfamiliar pair of shoes left in his car. Followed up with each of the passengers, none of whom had lost shoes. Reported found property, but eventually was able to identify himself as the owner of said shoes. Brain fade. And why did he buy a fairy-fag poofy blue pair of runners? Better keep an eye on this dude.

Well marked trail with about a quarter of a ton of shredded paper, and the most beautifully painted sticks yet seen on trail. Anal acrobat got his comeuppance for another crime. Either he or Mayo Queen lost a pair of specs. Another loser, or one of the above, missed the unmissable split and did the runner's trail.

The theme seemed to be the agricultural bounty of Thailand. We went through plantations of rubber, palm oil, tapioca and coconuts. Quite possible the runners visited pineapple and rambutan orchards.

Was pleased to hear the pounding feet of runners about to overtake me shortly before the on in (cold beer on arrival!). Trails were 7.5 and 4.5kms respectively. No big hills so a fast run. Positive reviews from Home Brew, Speedo Pete, Atomic Muff Diver  and Car Licker. GI Joe managed to avoid his usual hash Crash and Panzer Fister confirmed the trail was on tank-friendly terrain.
The raffle was conducted with the rumbling diapason (I think it is a real word) of Stupid Kraut Cunt's intoning "corruption". Panzer Fister got red wine, Pole Dancer got whisky, Home Brew came to collect his laundry liquid but was encumbered by a towel and sat on ice. Who the fuck am I won but also sat on ice.

Emperor Air Head's circle. Complimented hares on approaching the land owner to set trail on his land. French dude Michel, having completed 15 runs, got named. Apparently he did 45 years in gaol, talks a lot and remembers nothing. His handle? Slippery Frog Cunt [EDIT: I checked with Airhead, and it was actually Slippery Frog Tongue… but never less the truth get in the way…]. I also learnt that the French invented pencils. Roll call of nationalities, the winners? Belgians! Long story about Derek Miller and Hell Boy. Bell End received recognition for haring 20 runs. The Wizard did his 400th run about a month ago. Lady Squeeze my Tube needed her car fixed - a not infrequent occurrence. Where's this all going? Oh yes the final down down. And now for that beer I promised myself on completion of this report.

On on shitHead


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