Well, it’s early July in Pattaya and you know what that means.. yes, the English Thanksgiving day run! (aka the American Independence Day run) .. Those of you who have done this run in the past know it’s put on by the Americans in the hash. with the two main culprits being Emperor Airhead and Necrophilia Night Rider. Joining them this year were Chuck the Fuck Up, Hygiene, and I got Crabs, a motley group of Yanks whose combined IQ is equal to the temperature of a block of ice in F. .. (that’s 32 because , Murrica! we are never changing to C)
I got Crabs, however, was a no show claiming a medical emergency, something to do with his kidney. Rumor was kidney stones but maybe he was donating one to earn a little extra cash. That’s not a recommended way to lose weight.
The A site, as usual, was Maprachan reservoir, a short baht bus ride from town, which is a spot I’ve always liked.
A good turnout this week with 63 present including two virgins. The promise of free food, even if it’s hot dogs, is always a draw.
So off the pack went after the usual instructions from Milky Piss and the hares. The full run was advertised as 8k and the walkers' trail about 3k.
I wouldn’t know as I went off with the beer hunters. We probably did about 1k ourselves and were actually on paper for most of it.. Several of us went to the Chill Bar which had AC.. we needed it after doing that death march over there. But that wasn’t enough. We were lured next door to Sergio’s by Arse Van Hole for another beer. As our leader Gangreen had abandoned us, we lost track of time. But eventually we headed back to the A site where the hares were assembling a search party to go find us. We were definitely the DFLs.
Second circle began with the wizard placed in the bucket for yapping.
This was then followed by Fashion police. Yanky Crank received recognition for wearing the same shirt as the GM. Night Rider was chosen as Sgt.
Obewan received hash crash award. I think the GM was struggling to find anyone who really deserved it this week but the GM is always right.
After that, the raffle took place. Officiating the drawing this week was Black Panther. The usual claims of corruption were brought up..
Emperor airhead then the circle and recognized Anal Breadfruit from Belfast who ran his first PH3 run back in 1991..
The wizard took over and started a humorous discourse on use of the word Cunt , a word used frequently in this town.
A new award was created this week, the anti - fashion police.. many deserving candidates including Gangreen, J.P. and Turd Burgler but airhead won the inaugural award, the Ugly Cup!
Around this time, it began drizzling continuing the tradition of wetness on this particular run. Fortunately, it wasn’t a heavy rain but it lasted for a bit, which I believe caused the circle to end earlier than normal.
The Wanker of the Week was awarded to Obewan by popular acclaim.
The hare’s song was sung by emperor airhead. An old ditty many of us have heard .. She’s a girl from Singapore, modified to a girl from PH3.
After that, it was the final down down..
The two virgins were never brought out into the circle.. not sure if they didn’t like the proceedings or if the GM just forgot .. speaking of forgetfulness, it was noted by the Americans that they were never iced for it being the 4th of July. There were a lot of us, so it didn’t bother me, as a few people would have been in the bucket.
Overall, it was a very enjoyable day with cloudy conditions that kept the temperature down.
Baht buses took us back to the Kubla bar which was a last-minute change. Hustlers had some snort of snafu that caused them to back out a few hours before the run started.
Thanks Milky Piss and the staff of the Kubla Bar for stepping up at the last minute..
On On CIA