Scribe Report Run 2114 1st September
The Veterans’ Run
It’s that time of year when the hash rewards loyal hashers with a special Veterans’ Run. Hashers who have completed more than 26 runs during the year get a free run. This year 62 hashers qualified with Dirty Looney and The Wizard topping the list with 51 runs, followed by GI Joe and Whore in the Window with 50 runs. YMCA and Lady Squeeze my Tube were close behind with 49 runs. Well done guys for your loyalty to the hash. The PH3 also provided a free BBQ with delicious sausages cooked by VV and Two Time.
There were many hashers present for this run (100), not only for the Veterans’ Run but because of the presence of a lot of out-of-towners for another hash that we won’t mention. The A-site provided lots of shelter as well as many biting insects.
First Circle. There were no virgins and no new shoes. The Beer Hunters, all 20 of them, mainly attendees for another hash, departed early leaving the hares to give instructions for their run.
Second Circle. Lost Property. Chip Chip claimed a hiking stick she left behind at the last hash and KAM claimed a beer holder. Mayo Queen was iced too for returning a lost stick to Car Licker instead of putting it in Lost Property.
Hash Crashes. Little Sparrow and Ferry Queen who thought it most unfair as he fell off a broken stool at the Beer Hunters.
Hares on the Ice. VV, Sir Miserable Cunt, Knob Marley and Two Time were iced and hashers were asked what they thought of the run. Spastic Whore King wanted to run but he missed the split and ended up doing the walk which he enjoyed. Panzer Fister was on paper but wrong paper as several other hashes have been in this area recently. Dead Gump and Glass Cow thought it was a good trail as did many others.
Raffle. Visitor, Mother Trucker, won the Bombay Sapphire gin, Squeeze the red wine, Minnie Mouse the back pack, General Kidney Wiper the big bottle of honey, Bell End some booze, Gas Man the beer but Ferry Queen was in the bucket for the wrong number and The Wizard took the cookies.
Emperor Airhead’s Circle. Hares were on the ice again and Airhead commented on the new lights thanks to Tan the Beer Truck Man. He asked who did the work. Sir MC did the drinking.
Stupid Kraut Cunt and Supervirgin were iced for operating an illegal ferry with little boats for big people, no life jackets and waves crashing around. A recipe for disaster. SKC claimed the driver of the boat was guilty.
Next Ferret Sperm Dribble was iced. He goes to the TQ a lot and looks dumb but he manages to get the girls money instead of the other way around. For some reason he was renamed Pussy Pirate. Perhaps you have to frequent the TQ to get a name change.
Gas Man was iced next with his buddy Ferry Queen who experienced a lot of ice tonight. Ferry Queen is little and needs a bodyguard. It used to be Supervirgin, but now it’s Gas Man.
KAM, Piss Poorer and Sheik Meme were iced for being stoic and resilient Australians who stood by and watched as the boat sank. Probably laughed too till they realised all their food and booze was on it.
Sheik Meme took the circle and put the hares on the ice and named VV as the best and most bangable hare in Asia. He then proceeded to tell some rehearsed jokes, some that were funny but most fell flat. Mayo Queen was put in the bucket for always carrying a big back pack on trail containing lots of water. He should be commended for that. Perhaps Meme is jealous he is not that strong.
The Wizard took the circle and Ratso-Eel-Sniffer was congratulated for 200 runs but it turns out he didn’t even sign up for the run tonight. Maybe he’s getting old and can’t remember whether he did or not.
Wanker of the Week. Ferry Queen can’t remember whether he had the spoon last time he was here, the present holder, Arseholeo, turned up late as his Bolt dropped him at the wrong Shell station but he’s going back to the Hammersley Wankers tomorrow so that leaves Slippery Frog Tongue. He had a hash crash today but didn’t fess up so ended up in the bucket and was awarded the spoon for Wanker of the Week.
Hares Song. The hares nominated Barnacle Bollox to sing an amusing song about a cat and a c-nt.
The Wizard led the Final Down Down and then the Hash Hymn.
Thanks to the PH3 for the food and a great evening.
On-on Sauce for the Goose