PH3 Run 2115 Monday, Sept 8, 2025
Scribe Report
Scribe: Diaper Sniper
GM Milky Piss is still missing in action. Said to have been sighted in the UK holding a baby. Interim GM the Wizard brought about 65 runners, walkers and wankers to order in a damp 1st circle. A good turnout despite the persistent threat of rain. Many were still traumatized by the biblical downpour on Sunday night that left Pattaya streets flooded.
Some guests from Bangalore, India included three virgins: Anand, Aman & Sriinivas. Turns out they are all distance runners having just completed 40, 60 and 100 km runs the day before. PH3 run was just a walk in the park I guess. Sandpack christened his new shoes.
Hares: Something Stupid, Parisian Titi, Hot Wheels and Any Cock'll Do aka The French Connection. made sure to show us the red and blue paint cans just in case we didn’t know what the colors looked like. Only hanging paper and after all the rain who even knew if there would be any. A flat trail for walkers of 3.5 km and a tough climb for runners of 6.5 K was promised.
The trail was as promised. Very good paper. Turns out hidden hares Something Kinder and Chip Chip had done a lot of work behind the scenes to make sure the paper was good. As usual there were women behind the men’s efforts. Walkers and runners were greeted by the French welcoming committee at the end and served a glass of Pastis.
The hares engaged Lady Squeeze my Tube to work her magic with well received tuna sandwiches and delicious Masaman curry. Red wine reportedly from Chile was served but we pretended it to be French.
Professional GM The Wizard called second circle at 6:15. . While it tried to rain it only sprinkled a bit.
Hash Trash: No trash today. Diaper Sniper dropped his new pen on the trail but quickly recovered it before anyone saw.
Hash Crash: Interestingly the The Wizard and Hot Hope took the same seats they occupied the last time yours truly did the scribe report. The Wizard claimed that one of the 100 km Indian virgins pushed him aside but I doubt any of them were behind him. Hot Hope claimed that Papa Dick’s ghost must have pushed her.
Hares called to the Ice: As Something Stupid, Parisian Titi, Hot Wheels and Any Cock'll Do made their way to the ice, birthday boy Something Stupid, brought his chair in claiming his hip operation gave him an exemption. He was told to put ice on it so he placed one cube on the seat. When challenged, Something Stupid claimed he climbed the hill 20 times but we suspect it was Hot Wheels. Generally kudos all around for the trails. Good paper. Not enough hills??? My Girlfriend Knows I’m Gay rode the ice for talking. Indian guest Purple Dick who had emailed about the trail was asked if it was up to standards. The Wizard praised the beautiful, clean white paper used to mark trail. (I wonder if he had something to do with it??)
Raffle:
Slippery Frog Tongue won the wine..was it French at least?
Smokey Trucky Fucky nabbed the Sangsom
Happy Survivor…why does she never win??? Got the other bottle of whiskey
The Wizard won a mystery surprise provided by jokester Muff Designher. Impossible to open until Fatus Maximus stepped in with his scissors. Turned out the be furry dildoes???
Ping Pong and Something Kinder found the ice for wrong tickets
Hot Hope picked the chair and a place on the ice for bringing her bag
Minnie Mouse picked the mini towel…extra large for her
Panzer Fister got a six pack of Chang
RA Emperor Air Head took over and surprised everyone by being nice tonight…maybe it was the rain. Of course he put the hares on the ice. Sharing his knowledge of geography Emperor Airhead claimed that all of the hares were French forgetting that Hot Wheels is from Belgium. EA quickly dismissed Belgium as a place famous only for beer, chocolate and french fries. Not bad things indeed. Herring Choker was invited to the ice and Shy Tiger joined him claiming “I don’t know him.” Apparently EA gifted Herring Choker with a cheap bottle of 7/11 vintage wine called Flying Duck. Shy Tiger said “first glass tasted like wine and second made me fly like a duck.” During his investigations the Emperor brought My Girlfriend Knows I’m Gay to the ice. Reportedly last week after the hash he was warned not to go to the TQ but did anyway. Now his name is I don’t have a Girlfriend. The Emperor told him he would hook him up because he knows a few ladies.
GM The Wizard took over again and called Hot Wheels and GI Joe to the circle. GI Joe started taking his pants down but turns out it was time for some recognitions. Hot Wheels had completed his 5th hare and was praised for doing something many wankers don’t do at all. GI Joe has achieved his 1000 run tonight and will now have free runs..except he still has to pay for Lady Squeeze My Tube. Anal Acrobat now has 50 runs and Whore in the Window is up to 300 runs.
Ferry Queen, Fingerless and Sir Wanda were called to the ice and asked what they all had in common? Go to the video tape…they all got their fingernails painted at the Kubla bar recently. Copious bottle of Chang were blamed. Ferry Queen said he had to fight them off but did he? Next time don’t share the video.
Visitor Purple Dick was invited to ride the ice and asked why he called The Wizard Smith and not Mr. Smith. Since one of his guests was not wearing a hash shirt, he was gifted a loaner by The Wizard but not before it was washed in the bucket. PD had a lot of trouble getting it on. It was noted that virgin Aman did the long trail in his sandals and came in near the first finishers.
Panzer Fister and Whore in the Window were praised ..or were they…for taking over registrations while YMCA and Mayo Queen are off and about. Who will take over 2nd circle photos?
Time to pass the wanker of the week spoon. Slippery Frog Tongue was called into the circle. Muff Designher because of his strange raffle gift which was quickly passed on by The Wizard to our Indian guests. Sir Wanda the nail painter and Ferry Queen because of something someone else did. With poor pickings it quickly went to Muff Designher.
Hares sang a song… French scholar and general all around man of the world Fattus Maximus was called into service to sing a song. It started out sounding a bit like French and evolved into something about the French being gay and then a hashy birthday song for Something Stupid. All of the French speakers tried to plug their ears during the French part.
RA The Wizard led the final down down and hash song.
The On-On bar was the infamous Kubla Bar. Don’t ask me what happened because I jumped off the bus in Nong Prue. Since Milky Piss was not there, who knows if there was karaoke. I suspect there was more nail painting going on. On-on until next week.
On On Diaper Sniper