Total Hashers This Week - 66

Click On Name To View Hasher's Run History

Correcting Run Records Policy

To encourage hashers, and hash virgins, to take responsibility for ensuring they have received proper run credit, the deadline for reporting missed runs will be Thursday evening following a run. As run stats are posted to the website by noon of the Tuesday following the run, hashers will have 2 1/2 days to review the run stats to confirm they've received credit for the run just held.

The reason for the Thursday deadline is we close out the run accounts and run records for a run on Friday mornings. Corrections entered before Friday help ensure we have an accurate accounting of the run.

It is hoped with this policy in place the number of hashers that pay the signup fee and walk away before having their name marked off on the signup list will be reduced. This will also eliminate the cases where a hasher comes to us weeks, months, or even years later asking to correct a missed run in the records.

The one exception to this policy will be those with duplicate run records can approach us when they're close to achieving a run award. At that time we will merge the records so the run award reflects all their runs with the PH3.

Missed runs can be reported via email to the Webmaster.

Click On Name To View Hasher's Run History History

NOTE: Scribe Reports are written for your entertainment and are a work of fiction.
Any resemblance to actual people and events is purely coincidental.

Scribe Report by B.B.

Run number ????
Hares: Spastic Whore King, Sick of Steve and partners.

Arrived at the A site that gets used quite often now with great surrounding trails.
I hobbled off the baht bus and volunteered to scribe as soon as I had signed up. Anything for a seat in the circle.
The GM calls us together and welcomes us to run number ????. We all cheer, but as you can see I've already forgotten the run number. Then gives us a brief of today's events. We welcome a new virgin named Moo Moo so automatically my brain kicks in for a hash name. I don't know why??? but I thought  LOVELY UDDERS.
GANGREEN talks about the beer hunters. Then the hares talk about the walk and the run. Then the pack is off.
I go and get the scribe chair and sit down. I might have even done a FATTUS MAXIMUS and had a wee snooze while the pack was out on trail sweating, running up mountains and crossing flowing rivers. Or was that a dream?
Walkers return and BEAUTIFUL BELL RINGER claims a wannabe front runner. But then the real front runner arrives, wet and sweaty Speedo Pete. He then goes on to tell me that he sprinted passed many hashers then stopped and flashed them. I thought oh no not another FLASHER but then I remember he was taking photos out on trail. Silly me.
The BEER HUNTERS trail gets longer every week because they arrived after the front runners where home. BROTHERLY LOVE told me there where many obstacles on trail. Obstacles like CHANG, LEO, SAN MIG and ice creams.
After a couple of social drinks and food supplied by the hares the GM calls us together for the circle. 
There is no hash crash but we do have hash trash. EMPEROR AIRHEAD and NIGHT RIDER are on the ice for loosing a 4th of July hat.
The hares are called and comments about the run were given. GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER and SHITHEAD loose paper because they are busy talking about their health issues. Once upon a time SEX was always spoken about on trail. Nowadays it's about a person's aches and pains.
NIGHT RIDER is crawling his way back to running. AUTO FELATIO talks about the mountains on the run, which turns out to be a ditch. He has a big imagination.
Then we have a new hasher from London who doesn't speak the REAL QUEENS ENGLISH like TURD BURGULAR talk about dense foliage???
Then it's all Americans on the ice, not to discuss July the 4th but INTERVENTION from Donald Trump re a red card in the World cup soccer. 
I didn't mention the raffle because I didn't win again but we'll done to those that did. ARSE VAN HOLE who gets iced for bringing items into the circle. We must obey BLACK PANTHER even when I don't win. MINNI MOUSE, GM, then there's more corruption because BORING WANKER and the raffle ticket seller herself HOT HOPE win.
EMPEROR AIRHEADS circle so he ices the hares again. Because a lot of hashers are overseas EAH walks around the Harriet's and request 2 of them to take a seat. NEVER CUM who usually jumps into the bucket and SEXY BUTTERFLY take the ice. We'll done ladies.
TURD BURGULAR and F OFF are iced as returners. Welcome back guys.
A DINGO ATE MY BABY is iced and a story is told about his once pink and green hair. Now he is in ❤️  he has become a DOMESTICATED DINGO who no longer eats children. The committee are given a beer for work well done. Thanks guys.
GMs circle again and he calls out VV to give him a well earnt patch. 1200 runs and more hares than a bald man's head.
Our virgin Moo Moo and her sponsor F Off are called into the circle and Moo Moo is asked will she return? I hope she does because LOVELY UDDERS is a great hash name.
PATRICK the non speaking REAL ENGLISH guy is iced and things like sex tourist and aggressive lady boys are mentioned. Who knows.
The hare song is sung and all I could understand was F off. 
It's then the final down down and hash hymn time.
Supposedly grab a beer for the road where I shall now mention that BEAUTIFUL BELL RINGER said she would grab me a beer while I was putting the scribe chair away. Uh uh. I get back on the baht bus with no beer.
It's then on to the Kubla bar.
Another great PH3 Monday. We'll done hares well done committee, badly done BBB for not getting me my roady beer.

On On BB

Hares' Song

Written and sung by our very own Spastic Whore King using a mic
Ably assisted by his dancing co-Hares and some backing music

[Intro]
-Hey Hares, you're useless again!
-Good, this fuckin' Hash sucked a fuckin' dick anyway

[Chorus]
Fuck this hash, fuck you all
Fuck the trail and fuck your call 
Fuck the ice, fuck the bucket too 
Hashers and Harriettes, fuck you 
This whole hash can slob my knob 
Fuck all you, fuck this job

[Verse 1]
This Monday four o'clock can suck my cock 
I'd rather eat shit than run this Hash 
PH3 Monday hash is a hassle
Everybody here is an asshole
Today's the day I grow some balls 
Jackin' off in the A-Site stall
Blowin' my load in the bushes 
Tell this Hash what I really think

[Chorus]
Fuck this hash, fuck you all 
Fuck the trail and fuck your call 
Fuck the ice, fuck the bucket too 
Hashers and Harriettes, fuck you 
This whole hash can slob my knob 
Fuck all you, fuck this job

[Verse 2]
Without the hares this place is screwed 
You don't know half the shit I do 
You should've understood my ego 
I ought to be running this shithole 
This bunch of Hashers is a big disaster 
Not something I want to look after 
I have to wear a foolish hash shirt 
Even want see me in a fucking skirt

[Chorus]
Fuck this hash, fuck you all 
Fuck the trail and fuck your call 
Fuck the ice, fuck the bucket too 
Hashers and Harriettes, fuck you 
This whole hash can slob my knob 
Fuck all you, fuck this job

[Verse 3]
Fuck the RA's and fuck the GM 
Crush more pussy than you ever can 
Everybody here is getting horny 
Want to fuck a ladyboy without money 
P.S. I pissed in the beer truck
Put a big dump in the bucket
Hide some dildo's in the eskies 
Smells bad but my ass you can kiss

[Chorus]
Fuck this hash, fuck you all 
Fuck the trail and fuck your call 
Fuck the ice, fuck the bucket too 
Hashers and Harriettes, fuck you 
This whole hash can slob my knob 
Fuck all you, fuck this job

[Chorus]
Fuck this hash, fuck you all 
Fuck the trail and fuck your call 
Fuck the ice, fuck the bucket too 
Hashers and Harriettes, fuck you 
This whole hash can slob my knob 
Fuck all you, fuck this job