AFTER SPENDING ONE AND A HALF HOURS WRITING A SCRIBE MY COMPUTER WIPED IT OF SO I WILL TRY AGAIN......
After a swim at Phoenix I took the back lanes to the a site where I past Libarace driving in the opposite direction, on arrival I over heard the owners of the land a couple of Australians asking the Kiwi hashers if they need a job as this was going to be a sheep farm. It does not take long for the bus to arrive and not so many hashers today. Looking around I noticed Dog Licks Its Dick wearing a dyper what's that all about, Hellboy fat pimping out his staff again as it is a holiday and Jackal chatting with his friend. The circle gets started and one of the many female hares escorts us off into the tapioca forest for ten minutes before everyone is wandering in all directions after some time we find paper again which I follow until I realize it has been an hour already so I attempt to break away from the pack and find the a-site and after 30 minutes of Thai villages and giant rockwielers I arrive safely to the beer truck where Uncle Pervys truck is surrounded with old katoy's Airhead , Yao Yao , Chicken Fucker and Hellboy fat wearing dresses and wigs, what a sight ...The cracks shout out the food is ready and before any one can get off there chairs Hellboy fat had 3 bowls of food and the shapely Poopachino had his own extra large plate with him. Today is the first time I have ever heard Ball Ringer not say great run, missing paper was the problem he said the farmers are having a hard time and must have eaten it. I asked ET about the run he replied great, I found a hairdresser along the way and Liberace was already in there so we compared notes. The front runners where coming in now after 2 hours, Missing Link will be in tomorrow. Jackal was upset as he lost his friend on the run now he will have to speak to himself all night. Nice to have the worlds best brewmaster on our run so we can get a cold beer all the time. Circle time best dressed men up first Yao Yao wins easily but what has happened to the women Scar's Bitch has drawn a beard on her face I thought she already had one she must have shaved this morning, Tadpole puts on a wig and one of Hellboy fats girls comes as herself no need to dress up. Yao Yao looks more like the queen than the queen I asked him where is she, he replied I have dug the hole but now I cannot find her... After more beers and more panicking round the beer truck from Scar's Bitch as there are only five hares she cannot cope...
Happy hour is round the truck tonight.
on on
MC
HASH NEWS WEEKLY #2
Pasta Bollocks–coming to you via phone satellite operation/transmission: in Soi Diana, Soi Linkee, Soi Bokow and the “dark side” of Pattaya, Thailand. What a “hell-o-a” week it’s been! I’ve toured a few new hash bars and prospective HB’s on the “dark side” recently – the first time intoxicated and later sober! Which, really breaks down too: once during daylight hours and once “covertly” during the pitch black of night! Boy do the real “creatures” come out when the sun goes down!
Speaking of “creatures”, my location camera picked up a very strange one the other night pedaling/pushing a vegetable cart along “Soi Diana” and into “Soi Linkee! Most patrons who frequent the establishments in this area flock to the “pedal carts’ for their nightly meals and quick snacks. But this night, Monday 28th of May, they were hastily running away from this particular food cart! I had to go to max zoom on the satellite camera to see exactly what was causing this commotion! The camera showed a “thin little old lady in a pair of gaudy baggy trousers and mismatched baggy shirt, with a ragged old farm hat pulled down to her nose dust protector! Upon closer observation of the photo – the individual was wearing a PH3 hash shirt with other “racing” award pins attached to it. You are correct with your guess! It was Bell End! It seems that since Ball Ringer had vanished and left her without any money she had to go back to selling fruits and vegetables to survive during his absence! Creatures can’t sell everything to everyone!
Where oh where has Bell Ends lost sheep gone? It seems that in the UK, auditors – anyone who works counting money – needs to go to a triennial refresher training course. This year’s refresher course was conducted by Ball Ringer’s father on his 90th birthday! Oh yes, his father’s hash name is Bell Ringer! It seems that Ball Ringer was two years overdue for this course and was told to report for training immediately or they would send the “establishment” to pick him up along with FW. Being a little smarter and quicker than FW he took the first plane to the UK. Course completed – the miser is now back counting hash cash! Oh yes, Ball Ringer’s father’s hash name is Bell Ringer! He’s been ringing the cathedral bells in London for the past 80 years!
FREE AIRLINE TICKETS
In line with the now available “reduced fare” Olympic Game tickets the U.K. authorities have established the new “Fly Free and Pay Later” rapid return ticket to the U.K.! This ticket entitles the bearer to a fully paid, personally escorted and protected seat of the U.K. authority’s choice (with or without cuffs), delicious bread and water in-flight meal (diet pill included), and a 4 year stay in the London Hilton! The 4 year requirement can be reduced to 3 years if you confess your sins and take it “Up –The – Butt” weekly! Contact – FW quickly at the Bangkok Hilton for additional info! His number is 0U812!
Bali/Jogjakarta News!
Interhash 2012 was well represented by hashers from the various Pattaya Hash clubs: Arseholeo, CIA, E.T., Mad Cow, Wanking, Mrs. Head and Lord Lucan among the attendees! Mrs. Head signed up for and did the Ball Breaker and Long runs after which she could not talk for 3 days! She blamed Lord Lucan, Mad Cow and the Indonesian’s bad cigarette smoking along with the area’s volcanic ash pollution for this problem! Can you imagine any lady unable to talk for 3 complete days? The silence would be deafening!
Lastly, where has Try-a-F—K disappeared too? Rumor has it that he was last seen wandering around Bangkok Airport with an armful of food parcels bound for London! Question is – was he bring food for the Queen’s Banquet or was he going to bring the food to FW at the London Hilton??? The odds are 9 to 1 for the second choice! Hurry and place your bets – hashers!
Until next time! I remain Pasta Bollocks – with the hash BS report!!