As the countdown to his reign as GM was gathering speed MENTAL DISORDER called the virgins Johan (another Belgian) and Jaruwan into the circle. Jaruwan took a down-down for new shoes. The GM called the three Belgian hares UNSTABLE LOAD, ARSE VAN HOLE and SMOKEY TRUCKY FUCKY to give the usual instructions for the run. However strange things were afoot, maybe it was the Super Blood Wolf Moon or that the new "A site" was a disused cemetery.
The front runners led by DEL BOY arrived back at the A-site in a tick over 30 minutes. The GM looked at his watch and then the beer truck and saw the terrible possibility that that the Hash would run out of beer on his last week as GM. The circle was started earlier at 5.20PM. The hares were called to the ice and asked to explain what had happened. Evidently a pachyderm had been sighted while setting the run and the decision made to cut out a section of the run. The GM asked for comments. BEETROOT HEAD thought the run was too long, SPERM POLLUTER suggested it start off shite and got worse. PAPRIKA SMILEY thought the walk was well papered and GKW was disappointed not to see an elephant.
A call was made for EMPEROR AIRHEAD, but this early in the evening, he was nowhere to be found. The GM called in the Scots to the ice. GKW and RSB made an appearance. DIRT LOONEY was MIA so THE WIZARD was called in as a lookalike. CRAPPER completed the foursome as a BURL IVES lookalike.
FREE WILLY called the raffle numbers and the following hashers were lucky winners - STEPTOE – Coffee Maker, QUACK WACKER – San Mig Light 6 pack, GKW - Maldino Rossa Red, MR GIGGLE SHIT - Ferrero Rocher Chocolates, REAL OLD - Kulov Vodka, SCAR W/2TS – Oreo Biscuits,
PENELOPE PITSTOP – Kangaroo Toy (which would feature later in the night), LOST CAUSE - Thomas the Tank Engine Toy, REAL OLD – Pattaya 35th Anniversary Bag/Calendar, NO MORE CUM – Pattaya H3 Pants.
LORD CHICKEN FUCKER took over the circle and called the front runners to the ice, GKW, SPEEDO PETE, SCARLET PIMPERNEL and BALL RINGER responded. The GM was called to the ice and offered the comment that he'd received a phone call from LCF's wife to come home early as she was feeling horny.
The GM called in WANK-KING'S WANKER to present the awards and as there were none he was duly put on the ice. Evidently he’d forgotten to announce completion of 100 PH3 Runs to SLIPPERY ARSE who shows up once in a blue moon.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD took over the circle and remarked that he was not used to seeing hash faces in the daylight. He called the hares to the ice. They were asked to explain why there were no hash signs at a three-way intersection causing them to finish up at the "Love Art Gallery".
Comments to AIRHEAD on the run – nice and flat, not too long. The Beer Hunters were happy as well. Don from Australia was called in for a hash naming. Don evidently fancied himself as a Casanova and was into pig hunting in his younger days. AIRHEAD was intrigued with his soft hands which were not expected for a person with a building background. A number of names were bandied about until he was duly named MISS PIGGY, Could have been a lot worse.
The virgins Johan and Jaruwan were called to the circle and given a down-down and reminded that their Mother Hash is now PH3 .
The GM took over the circle again and called in Jaruwan and her sponsor/boyfriend and asked if they were both going to be back next Monday. STEPTOE volunteered to bring Jaruwan next week if her boyfriend was unavailable and THE WIZARD would look after her boyfriend.
NO MORE CUM took over the circle. PENELOPE PITSTOP, WINDOW WANKER, SGT. LONE WOLF and SCARLET PIMPERNEL were called to the ice and WANK-KING'S WANKER to the bucket. SCARLET PIMPERNEL had two car incidents in one week, the second one involving an altercation with a tree after failing to put the car into park and leaving the hand brake off. SGT. LONE WOLF had taken a tumble in Champagne-a-GoGo last week and duly went to the bucket.
NO MORE CUM noted that Man United red shirts were hard to find these days however he discovered that PENELOPE PITSTOP slept in one. UNSTABLE LOAD was called to the ice and asked why today’s run was so different from November’s Jungle Monkey Run.
The GM took over the circle and called NO MORE CUM to the ice. It was noted that he had organised everything for his upcoming nuptials but had neglected the small requirement of a visa for CRIMEAN PASSION. PENELOPE PITSTOP was duly called in as a substitute.
THE WIZARD took over the circle. The current holder of THE WIZARD's wooden spoon WHORE IN THE WINDOW as well as SPEEDO PETE, UNSTABLE LOAD and SKIING FINN were called to the ice. SKIING FINN had sown a Finnish flag over the Indian flag in response to there not being one on the 35th anniversary shirt. SPEEDO PETE ended up with the spoon.
The Australians were called to the ice as Australia Day is approaching. THE WIZARD wanted to know if there were any runners in the group. The GM responded that he was multi-skilled.
LORD CHICKEN FUCKER took over the circle. The GM was put on the ice.
The Kangaroo toy previously won by PENELOPE PITSTOP was put on the ice and LORD CHICKEN FUCKER went into a convoluted story about kangaroos and joeys and how joeys want to have kinky sex with your wife. “Joeys” BEETROOT HEAD, TAMPAX, PAPRIKA SMILEY, WINDOW WANKER were iced and virgin Johan went to the bucket.
The GM and MENSTRUAL DISORDER were called to the ice. A discussion was held on who was the brains of the outfit before LORD CHICKEN FUCKER also noted that MENSTRUAL DISORDER had been braless on the 35th anniversary run (quite a few of us had noticed).
SCAR W/2TS took over the circle. SPEEDO PETE and WANK-KING'S WANKER were called to the ice. SPEEDO PETE was asked to explain a dream about WKW on the Jungle Hash. Jaruwan was called to the ice as he had noticed she was not wearing a hash shirt. Fortunately she had made a quick recovery and was now wearing appropriate hash gear.
The GM took over the circle and called in his committee – NO MORE CUM, WANK-KING'S WANKER, LIBERACE, SCAR W/2TS, THE WIZARD, MENSTRUAL DISORDER, SGT. LONE WOLF and BALL RINGER to thank them for their great assistance during his reign as GM. Along with the three hares they had the last down downs for the night. The circle closed with the Hash Hymn.
The On On was held at Nicky's Bar in Soi Buakhao where a fine meal of chicken and rice as served.
On-On! Slug