We arrived at the A site underneath the new road, it was another hot day and the shade provided by the new road was welcomed by all. All sign ups concluded and the GM calls the first circle, the usual protocol ensued, virgins introduced and new shoes christened, namely BROTHERLY LOVE, whose shoes didn't look new but just wanted a beer me thinks.
So, over to the hares, VV, TWO TIME, CHIP CHIP and PARISIAN TITI to provide the chalk talk. They informed the runners of two different trails, one for runners and one for walkers, it was also stated the the run was not too long, (yeah right).
With the chalk talk concluded, the pack was pointed in the right direction and off they went, running blindly into the wilderness. Some 1 hour and 20 minutes later the front runners arrived back at the A site, HARD ON and SPERM POLLUTER looking completely dehydrated and exhausted from the longer than expected run, the lack of shade and the intense heat.
Once everyone arrived back and suitably refreshed the GM announced the second circle, starting as usual with the run opinion, almost all the hashers consulted deemed it to be a good run, bearing in mind the hares have no control of the weather.
So, onto the raffle, (thanks CASPER for selling the tickets). With an array of ridiculously expensive prizes, everyone waited with baited breath to see if they were lucky enough to win.
And the winners are, EMPEROR AIRHEAD, STUPID KRAUT KUNT (after 25 years of corruption he finally wins), TWO TIME, NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER, SALON QUEEN, UNSTABLE LOAD, STREET CLEANER, MISS USE ME and SMOKEY TRUCKY FUCKY. Thanks to everyone for supporting the raffle and remember "it's not the winning it's the taking part that matters".
EMPEROR AIRHEAD takes the circle and ices the hares, he informed everyone that in terms of time, VV has spent approximately 3 years on the ice during his hash career. When he first arrived at the hash he was fit and handsome, an FRB with big guns, unfortunately it was such a long time ago that TWO TIME can't remember, in fact she didn't say much and only communicates with body language.
EA invites Tony to take a seat on the ice, Tony is from Holland, (Dutch, Clogs, Dykes etc), EA reminisced about many years ago when he was younger and went out on a date and said it was a Dutch Treat, meaning both parties pay individually. The real reason for Tony to be iced was for his naming ceremony, a number of names are banded about but he ends up with the slightly unusual name of SISTER FISTER FUCKWIT.
EA invites STUPID KRAUT KUNT to take a seat and informs everyone of how alcohol and sex has fucked him up and that he was once famous in Cambodia, but then again so was Gary Glitter.
Anyway he's off back to his normal job in Berlin, Germany where he's an Assistant Producer for a top TV company. It leads to in interesting story of when Germany won the World Cup and the whole nation were waiting for the TV footage of the triumphant team to step of the plane and up pops SKK in front of thousands of people at the airport and millions watching at home on TV, classic Kai.
The GM regains control of the circle and immediately puts the new named SFF in the bucket for losing the "Wanker of the Week" spoon. (And his phone). However, fear not, there is a new award in the shape of a donkey's head, "The Drunken Donkey", which was quickly bestowed on SFF.
It's time for the awards from WW, VV gets his 180 hared runs shirt and ARSE BANDIT receives 5 hared runs shirt. HAPPY SURVIVOR 50 runs shirt, STREET CLEANER 100 runs shirt, and SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD (as played by RSB) 950 runs.
GM brings in CHIP CHIP, to present her with a birthday cake and express her dedication to the hash cause by laying paper on her birthday. HARD ON and SPERM POLLUTER are iced for no apparent reason and it's time for the Hares song. The hares decline the offer to show us their talents and BURL IVES steps up and gives a rendition of "How the Money Rolls In".
The circle is closing and it time for the final down down beers, CLASSIC, ARSE-HOLEO and LUKE SKYWALKER. Everyone joins in with the Hash Hymn, another successful days hashing and On On to The Buffalo Bar for more Hash shenanigans, and there were, believe me.
On-On! Sperm Polluter