Hash History Part 4:
Hashing hasn't strayed far from its Kuala Lumpur roots. A typical hash (kennel, local chapter or group) today is a loosely-organized group of 20-100 men and/or women, aka Harriers and Harriettes, although not all groups are co-ed, and some chapters in major metropolitan areas have well more than 100 hashers at an event.
Hashers meet to follow a trail laid by a hare (the person(s) leading the trail who leaves the appropriate marks on the ground, trees etc. for the pack to follow). While strips or pieces of paper have previously been used to mark trails, especially in jungle or off-road areas, it has generally been replaced with flour or chalk, with toilet paper often being used in residential or town areas that would make it more environmentally friendly. Generally any mark used to identify the trail is called a ‘Trailmark'.
Trails are, as they mostly are, "dead" - where a trail is laid entirely (or in part) in advance of the start. They could also be "live" - where the hare gets a head start (often 5-10 minutes) from the pack and sets the run as he/she goes. The hare would of course have pre-planned the trail and to make it interesting, the run paper would be given to the hare just as the hare starts off!! Live trails, while closer to the original Hare and Hounds tradition mentioned in "Tom Brown's Schooldays", are more common in the USA, while the rest of the world tends towards "dead" or pre-laid trails. The choice of "live" or "dead" trails is a subject of much controversy on the various hash-related discussion groups.
To make the run interesting, the hare can set the trail through literally any kind of terrain, with the hares' imagination providing the only limitation. Hashers may run through streets, back alleyways, residential areas, forests, swamps or shopping malls, ford streams, climb fences, explore storm drains, run through huge jungles and scale cliffs. The pack never knows where a trail will go or where it may lead.
So that’s the history, what about today’s run? Today we had the pleasure of 3 of the most experienced and prolific hares in PH3, namely G.I Joe, Squeeze and Spermy, so the expectations were high. The A-site was new to me (and the PH3), a nice secluded spot the other side of Phoenix Road in a field of coconuts. A 3 km walk and a 8km runners trail was explained along with vivid descriptions on FT’s (false trails, i.e. a trail after a check that leads to a check back, so back to the check and find the correct trail), Back Checks, (i.e. paper leading to 2 blue sticks and no check involved, so check back from the sticks until you find a side trail) and of course hanging paper! As I said experienced hares.
So off the pack went, along a rubber plantation trail parallel with the new road then off into the jungle on the other side leading to an open field of freshly planted Casava (Tapioca). After about 1.5km the pack could be seen splitting into two groups, runners going left and walkers off to the right. The walkers “galloped’ through the ridges of a few rubber fields following a well papered trail with a few dry gullies, a steam crossing, where no one got wet and finally to the home stretch where I heard screams from the girls ahead indicating there was some sort of hazard. Sure enough there was a narrow stream with knee deep water which could not be circumvented, so we all came back in with wet feet. ( Maybe the hares took advice from VV).
The runners duly charged away only to have their progress impeded by a proliferation of checks, FT’s and back checks, which as any experienced hasher would tell you, is what is expected to keep the pack together and it worked well. The front runners covered ca. 9km the others 7.5km. On their way round they (i.e those on the correct trial) encountered a hoggery of wild boars (The collective noun for group of boars is actually a “singular”, but it does not sound as good as hoggery!) and they, like the walkers, had to wade through that final stream.
All got back within 1.5 h, except LCF and Polefucker who crawled in just under 2h completing the run as a walk.
G.I.Joe generously provided ample tasty food for the pack with VV and his band of helpers cooking and serving. The circle formed eventually with a sprinkle of rain threatening. The GM was caught off guard as SWTT stole the circle and iced the GM for his Hash Crash, which held up the rest of the pack.
GM then sought out comments on the run, I thought the walk was ‘perfect’ and was told to minute it!, Jack-wow declared ‘paper abuse’, and the runners complained about too many walkers on their trail. Overall the feeling was one of a great job done by the hares and great thanks for the sponsored food.
The rain increased and I had to shelter the scribe tablet, (not easy writing on wet paper!) Onto the circle highlights, no need to re-document all the saints & sinners, how and why they were iced as they are all detailed (precisely by Flatulence) on the new excellent web site, under the section “run stats”.
The waffle proceeded with the usual ecstatic screams from the ladies, all dressed up in Traditional Thai Songkran attire, with their Dhoti-like trousers and a modesty cod-piece dangling between their legs. The GM, in his benevolence, did not ice them for no hash gear as it was their New Year celebration. The waffle prizes included topical Songkran items of a shirt and water blaster, which surprisingly no one wanted.
Spermy dished out the awards and the GM then iced Pussy Snatcher for wearing a non-hash Swamp Rats shirt, VV sang him off the ice with a parody of Frere Jaques.
SWTT continued with this theme picking on Mr Bean for no hash shirt. Then No Trucking Idea was asked in along with his love seat (2 folding chairs co-joined at the hip) and his partner. The love seat theme continued with RSB who sat alongside his greatest love...a can of Chang!
Pat Pong & Any Sex dot com were praised for being first runners back to allow the pack to have a drink. GM was iced for losing it on the swamp run, having no responsibilities, getting paraplegic, losing his memory and repeatedly chanting that the bucket was too warm for him!
WOTW followed with Dirt Looney chosen for nearly, but not quite, drowning on the said Swamp Rat run.
LCF took over, dressed as a Cockney Spiv, as depicted in the Annual PH3 Calendar (credit to Berley Shassie for her Photoshop skills) and looked for volunteers to sit on the ice.
Finally Spermy completed the story about the GM losing his chair on the said Swamp Rat run and not remembering the Bolt he took to get home with Beetroot Head.
Spermy (master of Karaoke) then sang G.I.Joe’s favourite song ‘(I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves,get on your nerves)’ x6, followed by chapter and verse of the ‘Woodpecker song’, which went down well.
The “Final Down Down” & “Hash Hymn” concluded an excellent day’s hashing in South East Bangkok! Thanks again to the hares for the Run and the Food plus the GM for allowing the circle to flourish.
On On Burl Ives