Just in News Bulletin: "Kyiv urges Russia to pull back troops."
TO: Pattaya Hash House Harriers
FR: Kyiv Hash House Harriers, Ukraine
Re: Urgent Hash Supplies and Technical Support Request (Code Red)
Fellow Hashers of Pattaya, Thailand
"Due to recent political events, we find ourselves in the midst of a hash supply blockade at our northern boarder. We have sent all our hash gear including (gasp) cold beer to the front lines as a defensive maneuver. We are in desperate need of hash equipment and technical support in order to continue our hash. We humbly request the PH3 come to our aid in these trying and desperate times. Any support provided is much appreciated. We patiently await your response. ON ON KH3, Ukraine."
The Wizard: Circle Up ! I received this urgent alert from our brethren hashers from Kyiv this morning. The mismanagement committee met at the secret bunker under Nickys Restaurant and unanimously decided upon our plan of action. Taking our model from the 1948 allied air lifts to Berlin we are going into Kyiv under tight cover after the second circle. We need boots on the ground immediately.
As we know GI Joe was at this operation in Berlin '48 and we are taking his lead in execution. Joe what's the plan:
GI Joe: First, we air drop hash supplies: paint, hanging paper, blocks of ice, bucket, lighting, beer truck, hash rags, and cold beer at low level altitude. Softies and water will have to wait,...priorities gentlemen.
Next, we send in Hash Seals for technical support, logistics, and down down songs. The following PH3 volunteers will carry out these precise missions:
V.V. will take pointman responsibilities as the lead hare. Ballringer will follow as paper stapler. Lock and load Ringer....
Snatcher will bring in heavy computer artillery backed up with accounting support software. Semper Fi Snatcher.
Sperm Polluter will execute beer police patrol. God Speed Spermy. Who dares, wins.
Jackal will take charge of seeding confusion, chaos, and utter nonsense for distraction purposes. Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition...FUBAR son.
Really Sadistic Bastard will flank to the rear with the beer hunting expedition. Swift, silent, deadly.
Dirt Looney monitors paint on all checks. We need full covered sticks Looney, both sides or die. Surprise, hash, and vanish.
We keep the harriettes at home for cooking, cleaning, and full annoyance duties. Your men are on outstation now. So, please bring your sick buffalos girls, you will need them.
Ok, boys, that wraps it up. Any questions, ...yes Scar:
Scar: Sir, are we implementing 360 degree checks?
GI Joe: What hash is this son! We are PH3 and don't do 360 degree checks...get with the program. On the ice. Ok, we set sail 23 hundred hours after the On In bar. No beers on the chopper. Remember, act decisively, there will be no mission creep. In and out quickly,...just like soi 6.
We are proud of your service boys...and no man will be left behind, unless he's lost on trail then he is shit out of luck.
On On
Ghost rider