Hares' Song
Noshing in the lockdown, noshing in the lockdown,
Noshing in the lockdown cos there was fuck all else to do.
It was on the good ship Venus
By Christ you should have seen us
The figure head was a whore in bed, And the mast a massive penis
The captain of this lugger
He was a useless bugger
He wasn't fit to shovel shit, from one place to another
Chorus
The captain's name was Morgan
By Christ he was a gorgon
10 times a day sweet tunes he'd play, On his massive fucking organ
The 1st mates name was cooper
By Christ he was a trooper
He jerked and jerked until he worked, himself into a stupor
Chorus
The 2nd mate was Andy
By Christ he was a dandy
'Till they crushed his cock with a jagged rock, For wanking in the brandy
The cabin boy was flipper
He was a fucking nipper
He stuffed his arse with broken glass, and circumcised the skipper
Chorus
The captain's wife was Mabel
To fuck she was not able
So the dirty shits they nailed her tits, across the bar room table
The captain had a daughter
Who fell in deep sea water
Delighted squeals revealed that eels, had found her sexual quarters
Chorus
The RAs name is Airhead
Drunken hashers he led
To his favourite bar where they drunk lager, Before ending up in one bed
The beers are brought by VV,
Not my/his wife, that’s Evey,
He drives the truck
Doesn’t give a fuck, That it makes Two Time feel queasy.
Chorus
And then there is Polluter
He is the hare recruiter, but he works in a bar
wears the Sheriff’s star, cos he is the trouble shooter
The hash flash name is Spastic
he was quite enthusiastic
till he fell in hole and couldn’t get out, cos he’s not at all gymnastic
Chorus
The awards guy’s name was Reggie,
He lives a life quite edgy,
He’s got a big bike but the way he drives, he’ll end up as a veggie
The new Pommie guy is Shit Lips
On gin and tonic he sips,
but his birds a laugh when she’s in the ice bath, tho’ it’s very tight on her hips
Chorus
The raffle guy’s fleece lifter,
he’s another Kiwi drifter,
he works all week till Friday night, then he’s desperate for a snifter
Fleece Lifter’s wife is Dragon, Drinks whiskey by the flagon,
Tho she smokes a pipe she’s just his type, Cos they’re never on the wagon
Chorus
My co hare’s name is Hans,
You might think he is a man,
But hes got some plans, to cut off his glands,
Cos he identifies as trans
Chorus